Your Monday Morning Roundup

There’s an argument to be made for both sides in the alleged Jahlil Okafor non-trade with the Celtics.

Side 1: The pick the Sixers would’ve received in return will likely be top 5, but their chances of securing the number 1 overall pick – which is what really matters this year – would’ve barely increased. Ergo, the best player you get with the pick probably isn’t as good as Okafor. The difference, of course, is that he could be a guard, which the Sixers need. But then again, the Sixers – pre-Colangelo, at least – seem to prefer “best available” over positional need, so there’s no guarantee they wouldn’t have, maddeningly, drafted another forward with it.

Side 2: Okafor and Nerlens Noel don’t play well together. Add in Joel Embiid – who is supposedly the best of the bunch, though I think Sixers fans rely a bit too much on his upside and not the real-world fact that he is a walking medical concern [Derek Bodner, whom I like, played this role on the 97.5 morning show today] – and you’re left with too many big men. Okafor is the most polished, but, according to some, may have the lowest ceiling – I’m not sure I buy that – and therefore is the most tradable asset. Still, I’d wait for something more than another non-number one draft pick to come along… which it seems the Sixers did.

Let’s hit it!

 

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The roundup:

Shayne Gostisbehere continues to be completely filthy.

 

Flyers fans chanting “asshole” at a Devils fan in Toronto is pleasing.

 

Michael Del Zotto is done for the season.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed the responses to my Tweet calling St. Joe’s irrelevant, and even more so now that I awoke today to learn that St. Joe’s lost to Davidson on Saturday. So, about the top 25…

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Villanova beat Butler on Saturday. They’ll play Xavier, who’s ranked eighth, in one of the biggest college basketball games of the season on Wednesday, on FS1. Gus Johnson will call it. This is what it’s like to be a powerhouse.

 

I don’t like The Simpsons, but their take on the 2016 election is quite good.

 

The Washington Post deep dives on the unraveling of Jeb Bush’s campaign. I’m baffled that more people aren’t stating the obvious: the country was never going to elect another Bush. Jeb may have been more qualified than his brother, but just because the establishment and big money wants you there doesn’t mean you’re the odds-on favorite. The disconnect between said establishment and the public has never been greater, and Bush would’ve had a hard time even without his guffaws and creepy reliance on his mother, brother, and family name, for which he misunderestimates adoration. The fact that he has the presence of a train conductor addressing passengers about a signal failure delay just hastened his demise.

 

Speaking of weird worship of a household name, Penn State is working on two Joe Paterno statues. From WGAL:

Since the artists have not been able to locate the original Joe Paterno statue, (artists Yesid) Gomez and Wilfer Buitrago are already in the process of creating a new statue. The project is already underway at a secret location in Ephrata, the same town the original statue was created.

Two copies of the Paterno statue will be made. One will be donated to the Paterno family, the second will go to the Beaver Stadium. That replica will travel from different locations and museums to pay homage to the late coach.

Secret location in Ephrata. Fucking. Weird.

 

NJ.com’s Joe Giglio, citing a radio interview with Keith Law, jumps through hoops to imagine how the Phillies could trade for Mike Trout in a few years. Here’s what Law said:

“When I ranked all the farm systems, I had the Angels 30th—which surprised nobody—and it’s the worst farm system I’ve seen since I started doing this,” Law said. “The system is totally barren. There’s no one in my top 100 (prospects). So, they could wind up in a situation if they don’t win now where they have to look at trading Mike Trout. Meaning, there’s going to be a point where they reboot the whole system and that would probably start with trading Mike Trout—because you’re not keeping Mike Trout if you’re a last place team. He’s not going to want to stay when his current contract ends if they’re not contenders, and he’d be one of the most valuable players ever traded.”

And Giglio didn’t even mention Matt Klentak’s ties to the Angels. Not the craziest thing in the world, even if this is a classic NJ.com piece.

 

Andy MacPhail is upbeat about the future.

 

Arsenal is using DNA testing to help prevent injuries. Somewhere, Chip Kelly approves.

 

Bob Brookover did a piece on Amaro and his new gig as first base coach and batting practice pitcher:

Amaro, by his calculations, spent 35 of his 51 years going to Clearwater with the Phillies in some capacity: son of a coach, bat boy, player, assistant GM and GM. This was the first time in 20 years he reported to a destination other than Clearwater.

It’s also the first time since 1998 he has been in a uniform and he’s taking his job as first-base coach and outfield instructor very seriously. He dropped 15 pounds in the offseason and threw batting practice and hit fungos at a friend’s baseball facility in Bucks County to get ready. Although he threw righthanded during his playing career, he is pitching batting practice lefthanded.

“I threw three or four times at home and my right arm was bothering me, so I’ve been giving it a rest,” he said. “I was originally a lefthanded thrower as a kid. I eat lefthanded. Right now I’ll throw lefthanded, but if my arm gets well I’ll throw either way.”

Leave it to Amaro to mismanage his own injury.

 

Don Mattingly adopts a no-facial hair policy for the Marlins, and that makes me want to punch Don Mattingly in the face even more.

 

The Gronk party ship– I want to go to there. Like, really badly.

 

Local composer GR Stone sums up Philly sports in On Broad Street:

 

Good take on Hinkie:

I’d argue it’s even more like my oft-relied on reference– Peter’s boat-mystery box conundrum. A boat’s a boat, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be JAHLIL OKAFOR!

 

Absolutely horrible news of former Miss New Jersey, news anchor and girlfriend of NBC 10’s Keith Jones Cara McCollum passing away this morning as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash last week. Keith Jones posted on his Facebook page, and I can’t even bring myself to read it. Sending our best wishes to Keith and the McCollum family.

 

Nick Foles is even worse than you thought.

 

Liev Schreiber is back, narrating HBO’s The March to Madness about Gonzaga. Going to watch the hell out of this:

 

“Suck it up, LeBron.”

 

Jahlil Okafor scored a pro (and college) career high 31 points last night, but the Sixers lost because it felt like Dirk Nowitzki scored all 29,000+ of his career points on jumpers in the game.

 

Delonte West seems like he’s in rough shape.

 

A minor league baseball team in Wisconsin is trying to kill you with burgers, specifically one that is four patties with shitty DiGiorno’s pizza substituted for buns.

 

Pablo Sandoval will probably hit .280 with an .800 OPS looking like this:

 

“Oh, it’s okay. I’ll just chill over here.”

 

The U.S. is the host nation for the Copa America Centenario, so they may have expected a slightly easy group draw. That didn’t happen.

 

Kobe dislocates finger. Kobe gets finger popped back in. Fan is grossed out.

 

My (Jim’s) new favorite twitter account might just be Phillies on Facebook, which tweets only verbatim comments from the Phillies’ facebook page, like these gems:

 

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46 Comments

  • Innes' Failed Diet February 22, 2016 at 10:23 am

    That boat box comparison is dead on. He can’t help gambling the known for the unknown.

  • Logical Reader February 22, 2016 at 10:48 am

    Nothing on Ralph Cipriano’s Shady story?

    INNES SHOULD BE FIRED for chasing Tank’s “Sources.”

  • Paul February 22, 2016 at 10:52 am

    Umm, it’s Barcelona doing the testing, not Arsenal (as much as I wish it was Arsenal, as a Gunners’ fan myself).

  • Jabroni Joe February 22, 2016 at 10:53 am

    Did Kyle shave his pubes and make Jim glue them to his face?

  • Paul Jolovitz Fan Club President February 22, 2016 at 10:54 am

    Kyle is voting for Trump because he’s a sexist, racist POS who could care less about anything except for his own bank account.

    • The Observer February 22, 2016 at 11:06 am

      Don’t really like Trump, but he is far preferable to the treasonous Hillary. Trump never sold out this nation, got four people killed in Benghazi due to his incompetence and threatened this country’s security via putting top secret intelligence information including location and identities of our spies on a private server and easily accessible to hackers

      because he wanted to hide the hundreds of millions in donations from foreign dictators to his bogus foundation. Hillary and Bill did, and the only reason she is not going away to prison is Obama’s hands are just as dirty.

      • rick martel February 22, 2016 at 11:11 am

        Nobody cares about that shit. People hate Cruz and Rubio because they are typical politian’s. Trump doesn’t owe anybody any favors, and rejects the whole PC world. Trump will not only beat Hillary, he will win by record margins.

        • Rick Martel's Little Chapped Nub February 22, 2016 at 11:37 am

          Only idiots who have no comprehension of reality would vote for Trump. All his business ventures are failures. He is one failed business venture after another. Unfortunately, America is full of idiots who think looking like a clown, being a racist and having been on reality TV make you a great candidate.

          I’d vote for a candidate who suggested euthanizing all the white trash in this country to America great again.

          • Big fan of Jim February 22, 2016 at 12:12 pm

            I agree, most people with 6 billion in the bank are failures.

          • BIG FAN OF JIM February 22, 2016 at 12:54 pm

            youre aware that Trump would have more money if he just stuck the money that his daddy made and just left where it was (ie real estate, stocks, businesses, all the non liquid assets that he held).

            He had money to begin with, and lost more money than he would have made had he done nothing.

            you people are incredible

    • confused February 22, 2016 at 11:06 am

      Mr. Jolovitz, I don’t get you. You are always on here saying how Hillary is unlikable and how Muslims are dangerous and evil. You have been supporting Trump for months and now you stop? explain.

      • paul jolovitz fan club president February 22, 2016 at 11:15 am

        No I have supported Ted Cruz from day one. Trump is a bully, and is not a true Christian. Ted Cruz crushed Trump in Iowa, and will beat Trump in Georgia and Texas. People want a President they can trust, Cruz is a great man , with a great family, and he has great values.

        • PAUL JOLOVITZ FAN CLUB PRESIDENT February 22, 2016 at 11:33 am

          Not Me^

          TRUMP2016!!!!

  • we know why he will walk February 22, 2016 at 10:58 am

    (a) he’s black
    (b) the DA is a Democrat

  • wah February 22, 2016 at 11:03 am

    “i dont like the simpsons but….”

    could you be anymore of an asshole kyle? christ

    • Innes' Failed Diet February 22, 2016 at 11:15 am

      To be fair is there anyone who still likes The Simpsons? Didn’t they stop being relevant 15 years ago?

      • Kyle Scott February 22, 2016 at 12:27 pm

        SORT OF LIKE ST. JOE’S HEYYYYYO.

        • AL Tru February 22, 2016 at 12:38 pm

          Somewhere Ed Macmahon & Johnny Carson are laffin’

  • AL Tru February 22, 2016 at 11:39 am

    Trump is working for the Dems as a “spoiler”; almost a guarantee that Hillary gets the nomination.
    also heard Trump is wearing a Kevlar vest.
    Rubio got busted as a teenager for petty theft at a Miami park, cruising for sex. He also was a dancer at a gay club….not that its a bad thing.
    * don’t worry about all this political shit…..worry about the 350,000 troops, 20,000 tanks excercising on the Saudi border…if they even sneeze at Syria, Putin will nuke the House of Saud.

    • Big fan of Jim February 22, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      any Syria getting nuked is bad how???

      • AL Tru February 22, 2016 at 12:41 pm

        Radiation travels on the wind….settles in your teeth and thyroid for starters.

  • Shut it Down February 22, 2016 at 11:41 am

    Please clarify your Simpsons take Kyle. You don’t like them in the last 10 year (most people) or you didn’t even like them when they were the best show on TV (the mid to late 90’s)?

    • Kyle Scott February 22, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      I was fine on them in the 90s and such but have always been mostly bored by their humor. South Park is much better at high-brow (really) and Family Guy is much better at sophmoric. Not saying it’s a bad show, I fully admit I’m in minority, but I don’t enjoy it and never have.

  • Bob February 22, 2016 at 11:55 am

    Why is the following comment in Adair’s Smallwood article awaiting approval?

    “If Philly sports writers didn’t exist, you would have nothing to write about because you don’t report on anything. Try writing an original opinion on something rather than trashing another writer’s opinion.”

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Stop moderating my comments you pussy.

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    REALIST
    February 22, 2016 at 12:15 pm
    Comment awaiting approval

    “This is what it’s like to be a powerhouse.”

    Don’t you actually have to win at least one championship in the past 20 years to call yourself a powerhouse?

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Philadelphia

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Also, how come you constantly berate everyone for celebrating non-titles and sports mediocrity in

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    Okay what the fuck in his comment needs to be moderated?????

    I’m going going to have to test this word by word.

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    Also

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    How

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    Come

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    You

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    Constantly

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Berate

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Everyone

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    For

  • Realist February 22, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    Okay really Kyle? It’s the word “c e l e b r a t i n g.” That’s what you’re fucking moderating.

    What the actual fuck?

    • Kyle Scott February 22, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      Filters, man

      • Kyle Laskowski is a huge hypocrite February 22, 2016 at 12:35 pm

        Why is that word ever put into a filter?

        • Murry February 22, 2016 at 12:39 pm

          It should be in the hopper…or the mix maybe

  • Kyle Laskowski is a huge hypocrite February 22, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Kyle Scott logic:

    “Stop getting excited over Timonen winning a cup. The Sixers and flyers always laud so much mediocrity. We need to stop getting so exited over things that aren’t our teams winning titles.”

    “OMG!!!!!!!! Nova is ranked number one in February. They’re a powerhouse. They compare to duke. The biggest college game of the season is them vs Xavier. Why isn’t everyone so exited about this?!?!?!?!?!”

    • Kyle Scott February 22, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      This is the dumbest logic I’ve ever heard. Timonen is a former player. Villanova is the best team in the city right now, and the second best college in the area. These things aren’t related.

      • Quaker February 22, 2016 at 4:35 pm

        Dude, Villanova will not make the 2nd weekend of the tournament and is sooooooooooo far behind Penn academically

  • Kelvin February 22, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    I didn’t think that there was ANY way for the morning show on 97.5 to be any worse. I was WRONG! This morning, Shander was filling in for Primo Boy and I almost puked. He is the most condescending you-know-what in all of radio. I think that I may hate him just as much as Ellis at this point. Wow, new low…

    * Note: The WIP morning show is God’s worst creation and is an abomination that I will not suffer through for even 1 nanosecond. 97.5 is approaching that territory.

    • Dr. Lowell Meyerson February 22, 2016 at 2:19 pm

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed this. Eytan Shander is a really, really, bad host. I’d actually prefer Phil from Mt. Airy over him.
      He was also terrible last year on the mid-day show with Mayes . I guess he has pictures of someone in 97.5 management, or his salary is like $25K.

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