After tomorrow, we’re going to be getting to know Carson Wentz pretty well. We already got a JJ Watt-lite Players Tribune piece about how being made in North Dakota made him tough. And in Sports Illustrated today, we got another quick look into what he’s like from Greg Bishop. First, what does he eat?
Carson Wentz arrives alone and on time at 8 a.m. sharp. He slides into the corner booth at the hottest breakfast spot in Fargo, N.D., where signs on the table advertise banana cream pie and a Friday fish fry and all-you-can-eat pancakes after midnight. No one bothers Wentz here, except the waitress.
Oh, what could this amazing breakfast place be. A local hole-in-the-wall diner?
“Welcome to Perkins.”
Let’s take a minute to bask in the beautiful framing of that lede. Well done. Perkins might be a garbage restaurant, but at least Wentz got something good: He ordered a “bacon-mushroom-and-tomato omelet lathered in hollandaise sauce, along with breakfast potatoes, pancakes and a cinnamon roll.” Sounds like a dream hangover cure, even if that hollandaise sends you searching for the stall at Perkins.
But it wasn’t a hangover cure. Wentz was just up enjoying some good old fashioned chain-restaurant breakfast. He doesn’t even seem like much of a drinker. There’s this later anecdote about winning the national title and celebrating with the backup who stepped in when he was hurt:
Three weeks after Stick whipped Richmond 33–7 in the national semifinal, on the eve of the title game, Klieman announced that Wentz would be starting against top-ranked Jacksonville (Ala.) State. One day later the senior threw for 197 yards and ran for 79 more, scoring three times in the 37–10 triumph. Afterward, he wrapped Stick in a bear hug, stayed through the trophy presentation, then hopped a plane to Los Angeles, celebrating in first class with a single Coors Light.
Perkins? Fine. Coors Light? No. Coors Light is – outside of Miller Genuine Draft – the worst easily accessible shit beer there is. I’ve liked everything I’ve seen from Wentz so far. He seems pretty bland and mayo, but I don’t need excitement from him. There is no athlete in the world more mayo than Peyton Manning, but even he doesn’t drink Coors Light. What’s next, is his favorite cheese American?