Your Monday Morning Roundup

Photo: Flyers

OK so let’s talk about the Flyers. It turns out they’re not going to win in 5. They’re not going to win the series at all. They might lose in 5, actually. My precidiction went awry. I contribute it to…

Yep, that. Once your team wins it all, you just assume every other team can have success, too. Not so.

The Flyers are being outclassed. The Capitals don’t even need to find their high intensity level because they’re just that much more talented than the Flyers. I’ve said it all season long – even after they started streaking – but the Flyers are missing an entire second line. Two of Michael Raffl, Brayden Schenn and Matt Read are third-liners only really good teams. It’s that simple. They don’t have enough scoring depth. An injury to Sean Couturier doesn’t help, neither does this…

… and it’s all compounded by piss-poor officiating, where the whistle blows seemingly for the hell of it. THIS, TOO, IS BAD:

It’s never been a question of talent – the Caps were always the better team – but they seemed ripe to get picked off by a hot Flyers squad. I was wrong. The Flyers don’t have nearly enough firepower, talent or depth to beat them. But, I do think they win for Ed tonight.

Let’s hit it!

 

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The roundup:

Nothing better than seeing Jonathan Papelbon have to admit defeat to a bunch of guys I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of after Freddy Galvis put one over Jayson Werth and his increasingly played-out hair:

Jonathan?

“All of them suck,” Papelbon said, when asked if it was worse to blow a save in South Philadelphia. “Your job is to go out there and preserve the win. When you don’t do your job, you have to learn how to turn the page and move on. . . . I’ve blown plenty of these in the past. I know how to handle them.”

And:

“We’re in first place and we won the (bleeping) series, man,” he said. “You know?”

I know.

I love Pete Mackananin pretending like everyone in that clubhouse doesn’t think Pap is a massive dick:

“Personally, I like Pap. He is the villain; closers are villains to visiting teams. I like the guy, but it’s good to beat any closer. I’m happy about that.”

 

Bryce Harper’s home run went into the bathroom.

 

Mrs. CB and I have very strong thoughts about NBC 10’s new local weather forecasts:

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Too granular. Too much detail. Too busy. It’s like I’m looking at a vendor pitch filled with stock photography for how something could work. Like someone took Philly.com’s former endless widget array and brought it over to TV. In theory, the more specific and localized forecast works great. In practice, it sucks.

There’s a fundamental flaw here. Everybody has this super local weather in their pocket. Almost every single one of us can just ask Siri or pull up an app like Carrot of Weather Underground and see what the weather is “where you are.” Hell, my watch face will tell me how many minutes until it starts or stops raining. We watch local news to get the big picture (and for Cecily, Sheena, et al.). We want the quick look, with explanation, when we’re too lazy to look for ourselves. We all understand that it’s generally a little warmer in the city, cooler at the shore, and just right in the suburbs. Giving us “the city weather” is good enough about 90% of the time. Which days might it rain or snow? When is they’re a cold blast coming? That sort of thing. This local stuff is too much for TV. It’s confusing, distracting, and hard to look at.

 

How much would it take for the Eagles to unload their Cox?

 

JJ Watt tore all five of his groin muscles last seasonAll five. I once went to the ER because I had a bruise on my leg. Pretty sure I would’ve amputated my own leg if I tore all five groin muscles.

 

I love how just now Chase Utley is getting a reputation for being a hard-nosed badass, like this wasn’t a thing before:

Do you, Chase.

 

Cool?

https://twitter.com/dallascowboys/status/722035562664697856

 

Here’s a purported leak of color splash jerseys for Thursday night games:

At first I was shocked that this shows the Eagles wearing silver. But then I realized Jeffrey Lurie and and the rightful owner of his testicals, Christina Lurie, are small people and wouldn’t dare allow the team to wear Kelly Green and thus create demand to bring it back full-time. So yeah, silver, which everyone will hate, sounds about right.

 

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?

 

A profile on local paparazzi extraordinaire, HughE Dillon.

 

This will be cool:

 

The Tennessee Titans invited everyone to watch a movie on the field and then their sprinklers went off.

 

Here’s an Australian Rules Football hit that is essentially attempted murder.

 

DeAndre Jordan: Bad a free throws.

 

USC’s blind longsnapper made his debut in the spring game this weekend.

 

Medical marijuana is legal in PA now.

 

Mayor Jim Kenney announced the Philadelphia International Unity Cup, a World Cup-style soccer tournament of immigrant communities within the city whose championship game will be played at Citizens Bank Park.

 

Podcast:

We have a new episode in the hopper. I just need to edit it and post.

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29 Responses

    1. Leave it to scuumbags like crossingbroad to try and make a buck selling SHlTTY tshirts off of Ed Snider’s death.
      Its a F&^CKING SHAME that can’t put that much effort into their articles.

      1. Does anyone know how thick these tshirts are?
        I need some fresh toilet paper, but i don’t want it to clog up the hopper.
        And these aren’t goo enough for washing my car or cleaning bird cr@p off my
        Lexus.

  1. How can you run a successful sports blog, when you and your trusty sidekick Jim decide to take weekends off?

    1. That gives them all weekend to think up new ways to steal content from other websites and ‘make it their own’.

  2. Wow, I thought you were joking this whole time with the “Flyers in 5” thing. Did you become a Type OB homer?

      1. Here’s the deal. Holtby BLOCKED those shots. Flyers out shot Washington badly in game 2.

        The goalie’s job is to make saves, not make excuses. Holtby made the saves. Mason did not. Including a tip in from center ice for Christ’s sake.

        Steve Mason. Top 5. Elite.

    1. who gives a flying *uck…
      why don’t you go back to watching the kardashians, big brotehr and american idol you dolt.

  3. WHOA! In my defense that Jason Chimera goal was DEFLECTED! It changed position! I had a bead on it–like I do all shots–and them it got tipped. These things happen.

    Even to Elite Top Five NHL Goalies such as myself.

  4. We don’t really pay attention to your sports predictions because we know you don’t really get it.

    Just a place to see some stories.

  5. The Eagles can’t do Kelly Green for the color rush because the NFL doesn’t allow alternate helmets any longer. They would have to wear their midnight green helmet, but with kelly green uniforms.

    1. It’s not really any secret they are friends with benefits. It’s in MCW’S best interest to keep servicing his ball bag, she has no other options in the radio business.

  6. I tried. I tried with all my testicular might but failed. You can blame me and my line mate. My bad.

  7. Kyle, your spelling and grammar is appalling today.

    “My precidiction went awry today.”
    “…are third-liners only really good teams.”

    You battling a hangover or just trying to better connect to the Philly/South Jersey mouth-breather crowd?

  8. 160 character limit or not, anyone that shortens playoffs to “yoffs” deserves to be smacked in the face with a sledgehammer.

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