Lenny Dykstra's Twitter Account Is Predictably Ridiculous, and Also Maybe Not Actually Him
As you may have expected, Lenny Dykstra’s new Twitter account – set up, as predicted, to promote his upcoming book, “House of Nails” – is a series of completely off-the-reservation musings, F-bombs and videos. A sampling of the chaos:
Liking this Twitter thing. Got ton of surprises coming. Video series, photos & more. Buckle up & keep your fucking hands inside the vehicle
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 11, 2016
This first episode is as real & personal as it comes. It's just the cold hard truth. Enjoy NAILS REVEALED: MY DNA. pic.twitter.com/M5R8IPqowN
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 16, 2016
Big announcements next week about House of Nails, appearances, events and more! HUGE! pic.twitter.com/ZVBGyIZhQx
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 21, 2016
In honor of my friend Jack blessing House of Nails, I present to you: Col. Nathan Lenny Nails Jessep Dykstra. pic.twitter.com/sDbDtHV6jT
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 20, 2016
Sunday wisdom Nailers…if you ever have guests over & at the end of night a few stragglers are left and don't get that its time to leave…
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 22, 2016
Here is a bullet proof method to get them out…
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 22, 2016
Walk up and ask them if they want coffee. When they say yes, you serve it to them cold. That means, "Get the fuck out of here."
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 22, 2016
I wish I could describe my reaction when I saw Netflix recommend other shows for me. I was like who the fuck is in there & how does it know?
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 22, 2016
Big announcements next week about House of Nails, appearances, events and more! HUGE! pic.twitter.com/ZVBGyIZhQx
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 21, 2016
That dude Guy Fieri actually a chef? I think he served me a killer burrito once in San Diego. Or as the kids say, once in a Whales Vagina.
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 21, 2016
Hopefully a really good Friday for me. Wish I could share more but wish me luck. pic.twitter.com/aHIzUoiFMw
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 20, 2016
And all of you who ask or comment about my drink of choice…one answer only! Monster Energy original bro! All day!
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 19, 2016
Big swinging dick…
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 19, 2016
Part Two of "NAILS REVEALED: NEW TEETH" ready for all you Nailers. No cereal in this one though. pic.twitter.com/OdT5353APk
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 19, 2016
The next episode of NAILS REVEALED: MAY 18, 1996. My last @mlb game. 20 yrs! @Phillies @Dodgers @mets #HOUSEOFNAILS pic.twitter.com/ErcoXCpcgq
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 18, 2016
I went from WS Champ, looking like a Greek statue, flying around the world in my jet, to getting locked up in the cooler w/ lots of mileage.
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 15, 2016
That ride is nice, but not quite the ride i had when things were flowing. Maybach better than pussy. #nailsfullhouse pic.twitter.com/5UY4SqwQid
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 12, 2016
As Swifty says: Players gonna play play play & haters gonna hate hate hate. Baby I'm just gonna shake shake shake. pic.twitter.com/RqJWOuIiBK
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 11, 2016
Delicious.
But as the New York Post notes, these are probably not all written by Lenny himself:
He has been rolling out a carefully concocted PR campaign with mini-videos, and he’s never seemed more unhinged.
One ghostwriter of a popular celebrity Twitter account says: “I do smell a ghostwriter because it’s just too good.”
Dykstra has gotten our attention, which is convenient because he’s hawking a memoir, “House of Nails,” which drops in July.
Like, it’s obviously him in the videos, and I have no doubt he actually speaks this way and thinks these things, but the carefully placed Monster Energy Drink Tweets, edited videos, and branding efforts mean there’s probably at least someone strategerizing the Tweets and that they’re not just the off-the-cuff ramblings of a madman. But, I’d like to think this one is real:
Good morning Juan Samuel.
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) May 20, 2016
Yeah, I’m probably still buying the book.