UPDATE: Was Walter Thurmond III Playing on a Local Softball Team Under the Alias “Dick Mahoney”?

Yes.

A reader sent us a forwarded email detailing the legend of Dick Mahoney. According to the message, Mahoney was a friend of a friend, who was “sending vague emails on [the Bishop’s Collar softball team] softball thread about how he’s bringing some kid named ‘Mahoney’ onto the team, that Mahoney is one of the best softball players he’s ever seen, and that we should all be excited about Mahoney.”

The author expected any ol’ Delco dude, but instead got Dick Mahoney, who “looked like Eazy-E circa 1988: black dude with a Jheri curl hairstyle, LA Dodgers shirt and hat.” In his first two games, the story goes, Mahoney hit seven home runs (and it would’ve been eight if he hadn’t overrun the lead runner on the base path). A real-life Steve Nebraska, if you will.

Other than crushing the ball and keeping his team in first place, Mahoney didn’t really socialize much. The email says that he once told a teammate that he did “a little bit of this, a little bit of that” for a living. Rumors started to spread:

The woman who organizes our softball team asked [redacted] what Mahoney’s email was so he could be added to our thread. “Doesn’t have one,” [redacted] said. When [redacted] witnessed Mahoney park his Porsche Cayenne next to the field, he sort of put [redacted] on the spot about Mahoney’s background, [Redacted] just said, “You’re going to have to find out for yourself what Mahoney does for a living. I can’t tell you.” Conspiracy theories started to spread that Mahoney was a drug dealer or was in porn (he missed a few games because he was flying back and forth from LA, apparently.)

The author then reveals that he was told Dick Mahoney was leaving the team because he was moving back to LA, to pursue a filmmaking career. Also, that he’s Walter Thurmond III.

The image above, which was included with the forwarded email, looks a lot like Thurmond. But the smoking gun is from the Instagram page of Thurmond’s girlfriend:

mahoney softball

While other players were resting, going to music festivals, and swimming in exotic locales, Walter Thurmond III was playing softball in the hot sun on weekend mornings while wearing a wig. Walter Thurmond is Dick Mahoney. Dick Mahoney is Walter Thurmond. As aliases go, it’s much better than Ron Mexico. But I’m just really bummed Thurmond III – and, it seems, Dick Mahoney – has retired and I can’t get my custom “Mahoney” jersey made for this season.

The Legend of Dick Mahoney shall live on only in memory. Oh, and in this picture of Walter Thurmond III crushing the ball over the head of a terrified teammate standing on third:

Voila_Capture 2016-06-14_03-09-13_PM

UPDATE: An unlikely alliance has been formed with Mr. Bowen. He reached out to Walter Thurmond III, who seemingly confirms that Dick Mahoney is real, and he’s spectacular:

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32 Responses

  1. HAHAH WHAT THE FUCK

    this is the kind of dogshit that only CB can provide… this is a compliment too, not trashing the site.

    1. Let met get this straight, Mrs Clinton says the Orlando shooter should not be allowed to buy guns because he was investigated by the FBI.
      Well then how in hell is she allowed to run for President while being under a criminal investigation by the FBI?

    2. We actually had the story before Crossing Broad. But yea, I guess good work by Crossing Broad to reprint an e-mail from a reader.

  2. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    and

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  3. I played against bishop collor. I ‘m pretty sure he’s banging a girl on the team.

      1. Looks like Rod got shot down by all the ladies at Bishop Collar. Don’t worry Rod, you’ll kiss a girl some day.

  4. Gonna stop asking for Kyle to lift content from other people and aggregate it to his blog. Please keep doing that when this nonsense is the alternative.

  5. At least he’s not a pervert like Nelson agholor & Connor barwin going to strip clubs in the middle of the afternoon

  6. This was ripped from the 700 Level — go write some more about Rusted Root and slim-fit jeans you hipster-doofus.

  7. Funny how the Jamal with the nice car can only be in porrnn or drug dealer. The editor of the post fucked up on that one.

      1. Rich N1ggers can also be athletes as is the case here. But successful hedge fund managers and doctors? Haha, no, no chance.

    1. Bottom of the ninth…man on third…two outs, winning run at the plate. Coach comes out and says “hey Mannequin, I’m gonna have to pull you son , your all used up.” “Coach don’t pull me I got something left in the tank.” “Ahhh…..By golly mannequin my brain is telling me to pull you but my heart says let you go…….go for it kid!” My catcher billy ray calls for the change …I shake him off…the curve..shake him off again. He knows what I want. ..the heat . I wind up and throw that fastball and feel a sharp pain in my arm. Ball flies off the bat to deep left field. I see Johnny “sunshine” Sanchez going deeper and deeper towards the fence. He jumps up, throws his glove up in the air and then it happens. The ball hits off his glove and lands over the fence. Walk off two run home run. Game lost, career over, labrum torn……

  8. ◀ prev ▲ next ▶

    favorite this post Why are we really in Afghanistan? (Deland) hide this posting

    So I just asked this question to a buddy of mine the other day who knows a lot of people in a lot
    of places. He retired from D.C. and worked in the State Department for a few months on a Temp
    assignment. I just happened to ask Why the hell are we still in Afghanistan? My buddy looks at
    me and smiles………Lithium, he says. As in Lithium batteries, I ask? He’s still smiling and says
    yes! It seems that Afghanistan is the Lithium Capital of the fucking Planet, and the US wants
    as much Lithium as they can Mine out of that shit hole Country.

    So just google “Lithium in Afghanistan” and you can read for yourself. So the next time you
    hear about our Servicemen being killed over there, you know they’re giving their lives for
    American Greed.

  9. Orlando shooter’s Florida-based father claims to be president of Afghanistan and is pro-Taliban. Seddique Mateen was one of the many mujaheddin that came over to the U.S. in the 80s, courtesy of Reagan. His son, Omar Mateen, worked for GS4, the former CIA- and FBI- linked Wackenhut. Just like Uncle Ruslan Tsarnaev, who was married to the daughter of Graham Fuller, the CIA’s top liaison with the jihadis of Asia and the Middle East, Orlando, like the Boston Marathon, has CIA and FBI written all over it.
    -Wayne Madsen Report

  10. That’s funny and from picture, that looks like a good softball swing. But, understand that depending on the league with 10 guys starting – 8 can go yard anytime they want. League home run rules per inning/game force you to pick your spot. I’m talking beer league.

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