People Are Freaking Out After SEPTA Removed Snowpiercer Death Trains From Tracks

Over the weekend, SEPTA announced (discovered?) that their Silverliner V trains – those fancy new ones Regional Rail riders have been taking for years now – have a “severe structural defect.” Because of the problem, 120 Silverliner V cars (about 1/3rd of SEPTA’s Regional Rail fleet) are now out of service. As ABC News put it, on a particularly busy work day “that leaves 13,000 fewer regional rail seats, reducing service by 30 percent to 50 percent.” As you can imagine, it’s an unmitigated disaster.

SEPTA is going full-on “maybe you should work from home”:

Until further notice, beginning July 5th, SEPTA will operate a modified Saturday schedule on Regional Rail in place of Weekday service (Monday-Friday).
Each line will have an extra train that will run earlier than the normal Saturday schedule and additional trains will be added to the AM/PM travel periods. But please remember that all available equipment has to be spread out over the entire Railroad network so the extra service will not reflect normal weekday frequency levels…

If you can, please consider:

  • Taking advantage of our expansive Bus, High Speed, and Trolley Transit network
  • Flexing your work time
  • Telecommuting if that is an option at your workplace

They’re another busy week away from suggesting you should quit your job.

Though it’s good we’re not speeding down the tracks in metal death boxes, people are understandably pissed:

And my favorite, “I still love y’all”:

The DNC is going to be a lot of fun.

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17 Responses

  1. Hello Jim,

    If you have any questions please contract me directly.

    Septa’s Director of Communications

  2. Jim shut the fuck up. You don’t take your tight sweatpants off and “work” from whatever you consider home to be. It’s all a big choke when your “job” consists of chain smoking and neglecting personal hygiene while occasionally slamming your digits on the keyboard and pooping out a rancid blog post populated by angry white nationalists.

  3. I almost threw up basically humping a smelly Indian on the Trenton line this morning . septa is a joke

  4. Gotta love all these spoiled white privilege suburban c u n t s whining and blaming Septa. You all should be thanking them for catching the problem and taking action to avoid a major disaster, you stupid, ungrateful, moronic fuckballs.

    1. Bizarre comment. Cars are the worst invention ever by the way. Car payments, insurance, gas, tolls, tax dollars for roads and bridges, traffic, noise, accidents, pollution.

      1. If it wasn’t for cars and their backseats, i’d probably never have been born so stopping throwing shade on cars yo! Holla

    2. Look at the R5 and R6 line in the morning. These people have cars, it would just take 2-3x longer to drive in. SEPTA just needs to not suck so badly at everything they do.

  5. Jim, please blow me under the EL on Front street near the EL Bar. I’ll buy you a citywide afterwards.

  6. Those future trains are fucking awful. It’s like what they’d be riding in the Soviet Union today if communism worked. The lighting is inhuman and that fucking voice never shuts the fuck up. Throw the cripples and retards off the train or in jail if they can’t figure out which stop is theirs. Or fuck, let them ride all day, I don’t care. Let me ride the old ethnic-BO smelling monster trains any day.

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