What the Hell Was Carson Wentz Doing on the 9th Street Beach in Ocean City?

Carson Wentz is trying to ENGENDER warm feelings in the community, just hanging on the Ocean City beach over the weekend. This picture, dug up by Reddit, was taken – or at least posted – on Saturday by (@keenanbox) right on 9th street in Ocean City. Remarkably, it seems no one noticed him. There are no other mentions on Twitter or Instagram – that we could find – of Wentz, the Eagles quarterback and whitest athlete ever, being on maybe the most crowded beach in all of the Jersey Shore (I don’t count anything above Atlantic City as the Jersey Shore– those are New York beaches).

Now, a few things: 1) Sam Bradford wouldn’t be caught dead on a public beach in New Jersey. No way he’d open himself up to ridicule or heckling, or just mere attention, like everyman Wentz. I could see Bradford having an advance team just to make sure his chosen beach has been swept of mongrel Eagles fans. 2) As someone who is writing this in Ocean City, just blocks from where the picture was taken, I am allowed to offer our quarterback this advice: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? 9th street beach in Ocean City? Have some damned respect for your millionaire self. Did you get a good rate at a motel, or fall in with those religious zealots on 8th who offered you a spot in a shared room with not enough beds and their unqualified loving embrace in exchange for you spreading the word to annoyed boardwalk goers? Do you represent a harem of Eastern European girls who most definitely aren’t sleeping with you in exchange for seasonal positions at Bob’s Lemonade? 9th street in Ocean City is like the McDonalds of beach going– sure, it’s the beach, but a watered down (no pun) version of one where you’re surrounded by the entire gamut of humanity wearing location-inappropriate clothing and the faint smell of something you can’t quite put your finger on but know isn’t good for you. Get to Avalon or Stone Harbor, my man. Or at least head South a few blocks. Maybe go to Sea Isle if you want to fuel your alcoholism. Wildwood if you want to get an STD. Margate if you want to strike an endorsement deal with a well-to-do local business magnate or mobster (or both). Ventnor… actually, don’t go to Ventnor. But 9th Street in Ocean City? Brave, man. Brave. 3) Wait, what, Wentz was in San Diego the next day at Sam Bradford’s football retreat?

4) HE’S WEARING THE SAME SWIMSUIT! 5) I told you fucking Bradford wouldn’t everyman-it in Jersey. No sir, paddleboards in San Diego. He’s so soft.

OK pretty sure I’ve safely contradicted myself here. Shut it down.


42 Responses

    1. I sucked off the guy to the right of Wentz in the picture. He had a pretty nice dick, his load was a bit watered down though.

  1. What’s the infatuation with what these guys do on their private time? Are you a little girl or something? It’s like you’re gaay with male athletes that have their shirts off, getting giddy. Fucking weird.

        1. yes. were you not around for the jeff carter, mike richards, chase utley weekly posts?

    1. Thank you! I was heading down to post the same thing. I thought I was on Perez Hilton’s site for a second there. And he gets so into it in the articles too.
      Take it down son

  2. Heard African Americans and Puerto Ricans are taking over the ocean city Boardwalk

    1. I can confirm. Was on OC boardwalk the week after memorial day and the whitey white peeps were having seizures because of the hardcore ghetto ass thug n1ggers strolling on their precious boardwalk. It made for a good laugh.

      1. It’s because wildwood is driving all them out with the no hanging pants law. Great law btw

      2. I heard it’s gorilla zoo time out there, so many schwarz all over the boardwalk.

  3. Where has Attention wh0re Kelce been? No sightings in sea isle this summer

  4. 9th St. beach is the Jersey shore equivalent of riding the El in Philly. Instead of nodding junkies, its a gaggle of Delco dirtbags airing out their Notre Dame and juggalo tattoos, while their fat kids swim in an over-sized white t-shirt.

      1. anything above brigantine is NYC country……when you drive north from cape may and can no longer drive along the ocean b/c the road dead ends in brigantine, then that’s the end of the Jersey Shore as we know it…….LBI has a buncha jamokes who like to fist pump and wear yankees and mets hats…..

        1. I agree New Yorkers love those shore points. I even noticed C from the Bronx tale on the brigantine beach Saturday . He’s in great shape but bald as a bat lol

        2. Sorry but I gotta disagree. I go to LBI a lot, hardly ever see NY plates or “fistpumpers” wearing Yankees/Mets gear. Truth is 99% of North Jersey/New Yorkers don’t go to any beaches south of Seaside, with the exception of the casinos in AC.

    1. This guy is delusional if he thinks anything above Atlantic City isn’t NJ beaches

  5. Ocean City is one of the nicest beaches down the shore and rated one of the top family resorts in the Us a couple years ago. Plus only dry town down the shore. Many of the Flyers vacation in O City. Pat Croce and Bobby Clarke own houses in OCity. I do wear a bikini on the 9th street beach at times so I guess I am one of the inappropriate dressers?

    It is hardly the ghetto you portray Kyle.

    Let me guess, you hang out in the armpit of the shore Wildwood with all the fake italians in South Philly along with the garbage and drunkedness.

    1. Trish you stupid KUNT did you even read the fucking article?

      ” 2) As someone who is writing this in Ocean City, just blocks from where the picture was taken”

      Pay the fuck attention whore everyone knows KKKyle’s parents own a shore property in OC and that’s why he doesn’t blog on the weekends he’s too busy eating lobster tails for breakfast while you’re waking up on the 9th st beach in your stretched out size 14 bikini and a matching stretched out asshole from the abuse it took the night before.

    2. trish can I just say that of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.

    3. Hahaha, nicely done Trish. And nah, you’re A-ok with that bikini in my book

  6. Thank you for the continued use of my handle to close every post. Time for some new material

  7. Oooo ohhhh ahhhhhh Carson is a meat!

    Ooo oooo count down to training camp,

  8. Carson needs to head to 48th st beach in OC and hang out with Bundy who has a house right on the beach there..

  9. I will put the talent at the Whitebriar happy hour up against anything else on the east coast; Miami, Hamptons, etc. Consistently top talent and very little clothes…

  10. Just curious, do you suck dicks WHILE writing these articles or right before?

  11. Nice language Dan and I did read the article blasting Ocean City.

    fyi – If i was a size 14 i wouldn’t be wearing a bikini so get your facts straight.

    1. Hey Trish. Honey. Have you made your hubby supper yet? The laundry done? Straighten the house? What’s your address I want to send you flowers.

  12. he signed my beach balls finally! oh and matt damon u are a fucking biotch pussy!

  13. Ventnor/Margate/Longport are all great beaches without the douchebags. OC is a family destination and dry town, decent beaches but more about the attractions and boardwalk. Most of the fist pumping NYC fuck boys go to LBI and Seaside, or the AC clubs for “industry night” while sipping watered down LITs.

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