FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. Training camps starts today, Crusher Doug is sporting his first whistle since coaching a high school team in Louisiana, the media has assembled to live Tweet every breath taken by Carson Wentz, Jeffrey Lurie has his gut-grabber golf shirt on, and Howie Roseman is probably just behind him making sure his farts remain within acceptable olfactory tolerances.

All of that, and the DNC is in town. Illuminatiluminaries galore. Today Show at Independence Hall, Morning Joe at McGillin’s, and Anderson Cooper in a tight t-shirt at 12th Street Gym.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:


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Bang. Still selling. Get one.

More. Already have all of our shirts? Check out Philly Phaithful.

Amazon. You’re going to shop there anyway, use our link and support your favorite website.

 

The roundup:

Listen to those cameras:

This is borderline embarrassing:

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CBS Sunday Morning did a piece explaining Philly to the nation as if Philly were some foreign space rock that no one has ever seen before and not the fifth largest city in the country it fucking founded. Sadly, the typically fantastic CBS Sunday Morning stooped down to get just the lowest hanging fruit and hit on every Philly cliché possible, probably because they chose Ed Rendell to serve as their pandering tour guide. Here come the snowballs:

And that came after (or before– I don’t remember) lengthy cheesesteak conversations and gratuitous shots of the Art Museum Steps. I’m surprised there wasn’t a web exclusive explaining how to say “wooter” and the proper conjugation of “Yo!”

 

Glen Macnow and Ed Rendell put together their list of the top 5 political movies of all-time and it has been immediately voided because it doesn’t include Wag The Dog and Dave.

 

Weak– the real spot is DiNic’s.

 

Anderson Cooper and Clinton Campaign Manager Emeritus George Stephanopoulos in tight t-shirts at 12th Street Gym:

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That’s great and all, BUT WHERE IS MEGYN KELLY?

I STILL DON’T SEE THE QUEEN OF CABLE TV!

Consider this your PSA that we are accepting any and all celeb spotting this week. I’m talking anyone. I’ll take a picture of Donna Brazile sucking down a margarita at Capital Grille. But if you turn up a picture of Megyn Kelly in yoga pants or Rachel Maddow WEARING ANYTHING BUT BLACK, I’ll get a free t-shirt your way. Other things to look for on your search for the political ruling class that will earn you an extra CB score: Karl Rove sacrificing a live creature, Charlie Rose interacting with a fellow Bilderberg member, Alex Jones getting his ass beat, Joe Biden giving you a devilish grin, or Secret Service members crushing poontang at Club Risque.

 

Bernie Parent put that kitty on lock over the weekend:

 

Verizon is buying Yahoo for $4.83 billion.

 

Ken Griffey Jr.’s suit game was off the chain at his Hall of Fame induction this weekend:

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This is fantastic– a Philly dad surprising his son on his birthday. I dare you not to cry:

https://twitter.com/DubOnDaBeatz/status/756894856945872896

 

The New York Times on the trove of leaked emails that show that the DNC tried to sabotage Bernie Sanders. If you ever doubted conspiracies that the entire election process is rigged, you need not look any further than this whole thing to prove that it’s very real. The sad thing is that no one’s even surprised. Of course, Russia might be behind the leak, which takes our conspiracy to a new level.

Side note: Say what you will about the Republican party (and there’s plenty to say!), at least they ran a legitimate primary. They may have hated it, and tried in other ways to sabotage, but they wound up with the guy the people wanted. Meanwhile, the media is treating DNC chairwoman Debbie WAserarefef Shcutlz with kid gloves, and had something like this happened to Republican party doofus Reince Priebus, we’d literally never hear the end of it. The narrative around Debbie Wajsadjfkasdjf;sdaf;klsd SCjhwe;ljflsa’dkf;kdshjgfjkjawkdnxzxzskdjslksadfjkslz is whether she’s going to kick off DNC festivities today, and not the fact that, you know, THE PRIMARY WAS RIGGED! Incredible.

 

What goes on:

 

What does this even mean? They blew up an image and put it on paper? Oh wow– cutting edge! NEWSPAPERS ARE STILL RELEVANT LOOK AT US FULL COLOR AND SHIT.

 

Holy shit this may change things with our review of Playstation Vue:

Here’s the announcement. No word on if there’s an additional cost.

 

I like to imagine Ben Simmons followed this dude and his kid around trying to get the best shot:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIOpNY1gOAB/?hl=en

 

Visitors to the DNC may call this hypocritical, but it’s about on par with the amount of fence work Philly puts up for miniscule sidewalk construction, making you cross the street every time:

https://twitter.com/bernvolution/status/757382865055133697

 

The Bernie supporters have been out in full-force:

They also plan on holding a “fart-in.”

 

If being in Center City during any of this was tolerable, this would be cool to look at:

And near 30th street:

Street artist Kid Hazo has good timing:

Philly loves a good rooftop, so of course CBS this Morning is broadcasting from the Constitution Center’s:

Want a great seat at the convention as a delegate? Be a swing state:

Here’s Susan Sarandon in a hat:

SHINY THINGS:

What the hell is this?

And this?

AND THIS?

 

Podcast:

Crossing Streams with John Gonzalez:

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The Stepover Episode 2 discussing idiot media members:

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