Rio is going to fall apart. It’s more of a quesion of when then if. They have displaced residents, unfinished construction, disease-riddled bugs, and poisonous water. In all that, the US Olympic Committee made sure their athletes would be comfortable.

According to USA Today, the USOC brought in their own handymen and construction people before the athletes arrived to make sure their living quarters were up to par.

“The issues ranged from plumbing work involving toilets and sinks to cleaning the apartments to dry-wall reconstruction.

“Like any Olympic Games, we always have minor issues that need to be fixed,” USOC spokesman Patrick Sandusky said Tuesday. “We bring people with us to make sure athletes have the right conditions to succeed on the field of play.”

The USOC transported several of its “facilities people” to Rio from its Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, Colo., to do the work, Sandusky said. This is standard operating procedure for every Olympic Games, he said.”

They may say it’s standard operating procedure, but all indicators say maybe they had more work to do than usual. But at least they’re being smart – aka hush-hush – about it. The Australians didn’t have such foresight. After complaining about the state of their living arrangements, the Rio mayor joked that maybe he’d throw a Kangaroo in there to make them more comfortable. What actually happened – in a huge, enormous, total coincidence – is four members of the women’s water polo team were quarantined after presenting symptoms of a gastrointestinal sickness, a fire broke out and some of the athletes’ fire alarms didn’t go off, and then some of their stuff got stolen after they were evacuated from the building including their Zika-protective shirts. An athlete and trainer were also robbed at gunpoint. Andrew Bogut had to put together a shower curtain. Meanwhile, the men’s and women’s U.S. basketball teams are staying on a goddamn cruise ship*.

Let this be a lesson to the American athletes: Do not say a bad word about Rio until you’re gone.

*Team USA basketball hasn’t stayed in the Olympic village since 1988 when they started allowing pros to play. If I was a young millionaire, I ain’t staying in no goddamned dorm either. While Andrew Bogut is having the shower water hit him in the sternum and flooding the bathroom, his former GSW teammates will be eating caviar and sunbathing or some shit. Sorry, but being a world power in a sport comes with its advantages. Thems the breaks.