So the double bird flashing doctor should be thanking Sevyn – SEVYN – this morning, because her “We Matter” shirt controversy went national in a hurry and buried the Russell Westbrook salute to Philly fan lore and kept it away from being the main topic of every national sports talk radio show today. Maybe. Leggo:

“We Matter”


Both sides are at fault here. Sevyn was an invited guest to sing at the Sixers game, and unlike the NFL players who are kneeling during the anthem, this isn’t her stage to, at best, make a statement and, at worst, perform a publicity stunt.* I won’t accuse her of thinking through this whole thing and purposefully wearing the shirt knowing that it would elicit the reaction it did and lead to these sorts of headlines, but she really had nothing to lose either way, even if the statement was genuine.

The Sixers. I completely get why they don’t want some unknown singer to use their stage to make a statement or draw attention to herself. That is their right and I think it’s fully reasonable to request that someone not wear a shirt that distracts from their product or touches on a sensitive subject. But, sometimes I feel like the Sixers don’t know they’re a basketball team and not a regular business. I’ve written about this before – mostly with how all their press dumps are for off-the-court initiatives – and think it holds true here. Had Sevyn been a speaker at a business conference or a spokesperson for their product, than yeah, of course, her attire could have an actual impact on commerce. But sports are different– no one was going to confuse what Sevyn was wearing with the Sixers’ party line. It would’ve been easy enough for them to distance themselves from what an invited guest – an artist, and artists usually play by a different set of rules – wore. And given that the NFL has taken a passive stance on National Anthem demonstrations, it makes no sense for an NBA team to take a stand against them. If Sevyn performs wearing the shirt, maybe a few people notice at the time and it draws a little attention (I don’t think the relatively banal shirt is nearly as big of a deal as kneeling), but that’s about it. Both sides were in the wrong and the Sixers were in a no-win situation, which sucks, but when you’re the bigger organization with more to lose and nothing to gain, you have to do the math on this quickly and know that you’re better off just letting her sing. I don’t know what the chain of command is on something like this, but it seems like a PR error, which I think has been a problem for the Sixers all along– their fans love them but they keep doing things to get people mad at them. That shouldn’t happen.

Anyway, the Sixers dancer who sang the National Anthem crushed it, in more ways than one:


*Because surely the shirt would’ve gotten her some level of additional attention… which it seems it has anyway. As of this morning, she has 16k followers, which isn’t a lot. One way to get your name out there is to hook onto a hot button issue. Success.


Double Bird Fan


OK so I’m just going to say this right here: We embrace this guy. He’s ours. He’s my fucking spirit animal. But it seems Twitter has no idea what the F to do with him– embrace him, ostracize him, hug him and bring him home for family dinners. It’s all over the place. My mentions are a tire fire of hot takes anticipating other hot takes that don’t even exist yet. It’s like someone gave us a beach ball filled with weed– we don’t know whether to party with it or call the police lest it wind up in the hands of a kid. I say we party with it, bat it around for a while, and then open it up and get high as shit, and if a kid gets it, then oh well, they’ll just be indoctrinated into our culture that much quicker. Nothing bad happened, the guy got kicked out (probably rightfully), and that’s it. I have no problem with it. In fact, I think it’s hysterical that the dude is a doctor – a urologist! – and a standup comic who once had his song about hating T.O. played on WIP. That makes the story that much better, because the guy wasn’t a typical mongrel associated with the nether reaches of the building, but rather a well-to-do professional who spent more on his seats than you probably spent on your mortgage last month.

Which brings me to my second point.

People are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT that I posted the guy’s name and occupation on Twitter, claiming the guy will get in trouble. My mentions are out of control– somewhere between when I pissed off the entire country of Brazil and scooped Jon Dorenbos’ magic trick. First off, morons, if you can’t understand why him being a doctor makes the whole situation that much more hysterical, then I don’t know what to tell you. Second, his face was all over national TV and is poised to become an all-time Philly sports meme. But yeah, it’s my fucking Tweet that reached 37k people and not the national TV audience and sports media crush that will bring him undo attention:


Like someone at work wasn’t going to recognize him on TV. Like the guy was lying low until Kyle did a quick Google search and took a screenshot from the first page of results for his name. It was my Tweet that did him in, and not him going double-barrel birds and shouting “fuck you!” at an NBA superstar five feet from the court and even closer to national TV cameras. Never mind the friends and colleagues who posted his name on social media. My Tweet, that’s what will get him in trouble, and not the video of him online joking about slitting his ex-wife’s throat. The guy is actually funny! So get off my dick, Angry Mob Twitter– the dude is a Philly sports gem, a four-for-four season ticket holder who hates T.O. and loves the Sixers, who happens to be well-educated, well-off, and also the subject of the sports media rinse cycle today. Oh well. Just like you aren’t offended by his double bird, neither are his employers or Cialis-needing patients who are reasonable enough to know that the dude got caught up in the heat of the moment and have a good laugh about it. Settle the fuck down.

Oh yeah, lost in all of that is Joel The Motherf*$#%$ing Process Embiid: