We now officially enter an era where no remaining Phillie has had his name called by Harry Kalas. This is a real bummer, but let’s get moving.

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The roundup:

Rough translation: “Ben Simmons hurt? One man from Philadelphia can now save the 76ers…”

https://twitter.com/Arthur_Cmr/status/782175610210779136

Vin Scully also said goodbye yesterday:

SB Nation calls the Eagles the 2nd most likely 3-0 team to miss the playoffs.

Been watching this on loop:

Also this, but this one makes less sense:

https://twitter.com/KentMurphy/status/782720747592646656

So Ben Simmons seemingly has a Jones fracture, will likely need surgery, and will miss roughly three months. This is par for the course at this point, but there’s a bright spot:

And side note: Writers who bashed Hinkie are now actually advocating for keeping Simmons out for a year. The world makes no sense anymore.

It seems more likely that there are a bunch of weirdos getting off on dressing as “scary clowns” than actually legitimately threatening people in clown costumes, so … I mean … beat the hell out of them? If one dude saw IT too many times and is hanging around the wood just “being creepy” it’s the one situation where what someone is dressed like is asking for it.

SEPTA is finally back to normal, so start the countdown clock until something else goes wrong.

This winter is gonna be cold and brutal unless it isn’t.

Uber and Lyft are again officially illegal in Philadelphia.