Nelson Agholor Blows

Jony Ive, the famous Apple product designer, often describes his creations as being essential or obvious, because every decision that goes into their completion seems to make just so much damn sense and you wonder how the world ever existed without them. That’s how I feel about this blog post. I could try to get cute and write a lengthy Bird Droppings about all the things that went wrong, almost as expected, against a team that is doing its annual transformation into a Super Bowl contender. Or, I can just write about how Nelson Agholor unequivocally, unabashedly, unscruptisoiadufsdisaoly, sucks and is ruining football.

Yeah, let’s do that.

There were two key plays that just stopped the Eagles’ momentum dead in its tracks and essentially nuked (Donald, no!) any chance they had of pulling off an upset.

First up, six minutes to go in the first half, the Eagles trailing 13-7, Zach Ertz does his annual transition from a boy into a man, and the Eagles score on a long, well-designed, well-blocked screen pass. If it stands, they’ll potentially take a lead into the half and get the ball back at the start of the third quarter. BUT NOPE. Nelson Agholor lined up behind the line of scrimmage, illegally, much to the chagrin of wide receivers coach Greg Lewis (who, ah, DO SOMETHING!):

https://twitter.com/JoshPaunil/status/800519121888649216

It’s bad enough that Agholor screws up his own plays. It’s bad enough that even his catches usually come with a rub– penalty, bobble, vomiting all over the field, etc. But now he’s proactively negating his teammates’ successes.

A few plays later, Agholor ruined what was a beautiful read by Carson Wentz, who looked off multiple receivers and hit a wide open Agholor, who was being covered by Richard Sherman:

Gross. Fucking gross.

This shit has to stop. I’m not sure what may be in Agholor’s rookie contract that prevents the Eagles from cutting him, nor do I care, but he needs to stop playing. He needs to not dress. He’s actively hurting the team. He cost the Eagles one touchdown and at least another three points in the span of about three minutes yesterday. Those are backbreakers on the road against a team like the Seahawks when you’re facing a steep up-hill climb to being with. If he just… does his job, the Eagles likely have at least 10 more points on the board and the entire complexion of the game is different. The Eagles lost 26-15.

In college sports, the difference between good and great, bad and terrible is often obvious to the viewer. The discrepancies in talent are so great that even the untrained eye can usually spot the better team or player. I’d argue it’s one of the things that often makes college sports more exciting than pro sports– because they lend themselves to mismatches, big plays and even chaos. Rarely in pro sports are deficiencies so glaring. The margin between winning and losing, the best and the worst, is razor thin. Sure, you can tell obvious superstars, and other degrees of talent, but rarely does one player – or in this case one unit – stand out as being so atrociously awful that they don’t even belong on the same field as the competition. That’s the case with Nelson Agholor and the band of misfits Carson Wentz has to throw to.

After the game, Doug Pederson was again wishy washy and defended Agholor:

On whether it’s all Agholor’s fault:

“It’s a little bit of him, a little bit of the quarterback, a little bit of me. I’ve got to make sure that everybody understands situational football, and formations, and the types of things we do. We just have to coach that better.”

On what’s going on with Agholor:

“I’m going to keep encouraging the kid. He works hard every single day now. I’m going to keep talking, keep loving on him, encouraging him. By no means am I going to be down on him. This loss today, this was on me. I’ve got to make sure I’m doing everything I can to get these guys ready to play.”

The silver lining in this is that the last guy Doug Pederson loved was Josh Huff, and he’s currently sitting in a court room in New Jersey.

Agholor is so sorry, or something:

“I got to get out of my own head,” Agholor said at his locker. “Pressing so much and worried about so many things. I got to go out there and (just) try to catch the ball … because I’m thinking too much and got so worried.

“And it’s such a selfish thing that I need to stop. I need to give my energy to my teammates and this organization and not myself. I’m feeling so much pressure to make every single (play). Just have fun.”

Go have fun somewhere else, you’re ruining ours.

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42 Responses

      1. Used to love that show but now every fucking time I tune in they’re talking about the dick vermeil teams or the 1960 championship

    1. Shhhh !!!!! Agholor TOLD us to stop talking about his constant drops. GTFO.
      How come EVERY Eagle fan I know has been calling for Paul Turner since the pre-season, but the idiots at the Linc can’t figure this basic fact out?
      Roseman, Lurie, and Pederson ALL NEED TO GO !!!!!!

  1. The morning show B&C line was epic today! I love that show. They are doing amazing work. MCW is just so good at updates now, It took a while but I believe this show is now the PULSE OF PHILADELPHIA. And long live SWAT SWAT!

    1. I agree. Show was great today. Baldy needs to be full time. And meat locker is the highlight of my LISTENING week.

    2. Great show . Cuz is dead on with his assessment of Carson Wentz . People need to relax they weren’t suppose to be a good team this season

      SWAT SWAT

  2. Just gotta get him so more reps, man. Few more years and he’ll be ready.

  3. Im so angry, I could yell…You hear dat Angelo!! I yell so damn much, I don’t like to do that no more. Let’s do another Eagles chant first…E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!

  4. I know Paul Turner will never be mistaken for Jerry Rice, but why not sit Nelson for a few weeks and put him in. He can;t do any worse.

    1. Yes because race MUST be an element in all of this. Has to be, otherwise I have no excuse to justify my shitty station in life.

  5. why aren’t they practicing with rolls of toilet paper? it helped “hot hands” catch the football in Little Giants

        1. No!

          It’s Parody. A Parody league. Every caller to WIP and 97.5 knows that. Its a parody league and we need to relax. Because the Eagles got this. They have three divisional games at home. And they have Green Bay, who sucks, at home. And its an ebb and flow league so those games at Cinncy and in B’more are wins. That’s six straight wins to take the division. And then we hit the playoffs with the momentum and the hot hand.

          RELAX. It’s a parody league. We got this. Super Bowl Champs!

    1. I’m ok with 8-8 or 7-9. It will give us better draft picks that we can use on WRs CBs and OLs. Carson has been amazing for a rookie out of NDSU. Imaging how he will look with 3 seasons under his belt and a better line and a decent WR. The future is very bright.

  6. Jeffy’s got no strings
    To hold me down
    To make me fret and make me frown
    I have strings
    And I’m not free
    Jeffy has strings on me!!!!

    E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLESSSS (extended fart sound)

  7. Meanwhile Wentz is still untouchable. When are the kid gloves going to come off and he gets criticized for another pair of awful INTs? If you really though they were going to beat Seattle in Seattle, then you have blinders on. Also wheres the blame for the almighty Howie Roseman who, you know, assembled this team? His eye for talent didn’t see they needed a WR? How about that Demarco trade?

    1. Demarco wanted out bro. He requested the trade and didn’t want to play here. WR sure. Took a shot on DGB but obviously didn’t work out. Wentz? I mean he is still a rookie. Do you watch the game and think, dang Wentz is the one holding this team back? Maybe you do and that is fine as you are entitled to your opinion but it never really crosses my mind, If anything I always think they are still in it because of his poise and demeanor.

    2. The first was a third down bomb. Those mean nothing except that you didn’t get the first down. I don’t care if he throws 2 of them a game this year. That’s how you learn. Maybe if he was allowed to throw beyond the chains more than 3 times a game he would stop forcing his rare opportunities. Wentz’s agent needs to sit down after the season with Howie shortly before the surprise dismissal of Crusher Doug.

      Wentz isn’t playing well but there’s nothing really concerning about a rookie struggling behind a ragtag line throwing to volleyball players. Turn off the fake Philly Italians and you’ll get smarter overnight.

      1. Wentz is fine. he’s white. And that’s all this fanbase cares about. So, they talk about his poise.

        He has great poise throwing INTs and putting together one, maybe two good drives a game and being mediocre the rest of the time.

        1. I hate the thugs and democrats that are destroying this country, and stupid liberal c#nts like you that cry racism when we all know who are the most racist people on the planet. With that said,
          how many whites in this city consider Brain Dawkins their most beloved athlete? That’s because Dakwins is a great AMERICAN CITIZEN, athlete, and leader.. compared to the worthless,and racist n1gger. Skin color has nothing to do with it. It’s all about ATTITUDE and performance.
          So, yes, we ALL know that Wentz needs to improve. HE”S A ROOKIE QB.
          That’s still no excuse for Matthews and Agholor who can’t CATCH A BALL, and then run their mouths to the media.
          Shut up and do your job.

  8. She brokedown Croatian breakfast foods like nobodies business. Also I never knew that Brett Brown’s favorite toilet paper is Charmin extra soft. Only Molly gives you the information that every fan must have.

  9. Rodgers has never been thought to be fast but he is much more elusive than Wentz. Can’t compare Wentz to Big Ben. Ben never goes down. Wentz will be a good pocket passer but he doesn’t extend plays as much as been perceived. Watch how the other QB’s get out of the pocket consistently in front of porous offensive lines. Wentz does like he did against Pittsburgh but it seems he can’t do it as much as Rogers and Wilson. I would say Wentz has about the same foot speed as Brady.

    1. He’s not incredibly slow, but definitely not as mobile as advertised. Remember the last two QBs that played here? He can outrun a DT and DE, and thats about all you need him to do, he won’t outrun an OLB

  10. Greg fucking Lewis would be the best receiver on this team if he put on pads….THAT’s how fucking bad they are.
    Thanks Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssssssssssssss
    FUCK OFF

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