Stephen Colbert Takes On Pistachio Girl

I’m surprised it took this long for Pistachio Girl to make the late night comedy circuit – the story is straight up Weekend Update’s alley – but Stephen Colbert does the whole story justice, introducing his own nut supremacist, Walnut Boy. I’m sure a tweetstorm about this is coming.

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45 Responses

  1. Can’t believe that flip flop chick is single . The things I would do to her after a long day of flipping a house

  2. Since it’s close to Christmas, and Philadelphia sports are involved, there will definitely be a joke about throwing pistachios at Santa or something

  3. Anything more on Christina from Flip and Flop? I knew Tarek wasn’t man enough to keep her happy too long.

  4. I recently learned that BS has Philly bloggers that actually reliably cover the only winning team in this city rather than just copying press releases and reminding us how embarrassing the Sixers are. I wonder how long it’ll take them to reach 9 wins total. Eagles fans having nothing to root for at this point except a better draft ranking. Here we have Jim embedding a Colbert video as “hockey’s just not his style.” The comment section has been reduced to writing lewd comments about an unemployed autistic white supremacist that acquired fame by singing about godamn pistachios. What is going on in this city??

    1. The Eagles record has nothing to do with their draft ranking because the Browns have our pick. We need to root for the Vikings to lose.

      1. If you want to make easy $$ bet the eagles the last game of the season. They will win that meaningless game and fuck up their 2nd rd pick

        1. I would rather our 2nd round pick is one spot lower in the draft if it means we can win a meaningless game against the cowboys. Because it is still a win against the cowboys at home.

          Going through the entire offseason won’t be completely unbearable if we split with dallas.

          1. So true who cares about a higher 2nd pick . We are already getting a last place schedule. Hope Dallas rest their starters and we end romo’s career like Michael Irvin’s.

            FUCK DALLAS!!!!!

      2. I stick an ice pick in my ear. I find that more entertaining than your retarded calls

  5. Well when you’re sitting back in your rose pink Cadillac making bets on Kentucky derby day
    I’ll be in my basement room with a needle and a spoon and another girl to take my pain away.
    Goo goo gah gah. Coooooooo. Pfllffffffffttt

    1. The only time Colbert has made me laugh was on Election Night after Trump won and he had no idea what to say and was just looking around the studio and trying to get his guests to say something. The guy is a no talent assclown.

  6. Gotta be. And the ulcer is from all the Tylenol in the pills…..
    …..and fuq this dumbazz b!tch, she’s had way too much publicity on this site already. I think a CB staff iz bangin this birdbrain

    1. I’d put my money on Pistachio girl bending Jim over, and banging him doggy- style with her strap-ON.

  7. After a weekend where the Sixers took two road games and the Flyers ran their streaks to 9.

    Nice work!

    At least we got the Jay Wright Rim Job mention in!

  8. Innes was terrible on air, but he was good for 1 thing: he made this website interesting. Now its obnoxious, snobby Villanova posts, shitty t-shirts, hipster podcast links (swear to God I can hear Jim vaping in the background), Klausner with a 12,000 word diatribe on the Eagles, or a story Deadspin covered 12 hours ago. Wonder how long you’ll talk about discovering the McConnell-Saric feud. You’ll never be a news source, you’ll never be funny, and Les Bowen would kick your scrawny ass.

        1. For sure I’d beat, she’s far from ugly. And any girl that loves sports is alright with me.
          She could donate some of that nose tho to those in need

  9. Kroenke will give him his checkbook and tell Jon to fill in the amount. Perfect spot for Jon who loves to be the center of attention. Don’t know if the QB is the answer but LA is still a phenomenal job. If your ever going to leave ESPN for a glamour position this is it. I know Gruden loves his TV gig but LA is a plum job. Kroenke seems to give his coaches long leashes so you can work there a long time even if you don’t win. The stadium in LA is going to be the center of the NFL universe. I’ll tell you right now they aren’t going to hire some NFL assistant. I guess if you were you give Josh McDaniel another shot but I think Stan is going for a big name. There are only two guys out there and they routinely turn down NFL offers. Gruden and Cowher. The other big name who I wouldn’t give a second chance too is Nick Saban. If he wins another National Championship in Alabama what more does he have to prove. After the crap he pulled in Miami I wouldn’t call him but there is no bigger name in football.

  10. p h i l ly i n f l u e n c e r dot com absolutely crushing CB as usual

    they had eagles stories up right after the game and have tons going today. is the quality good? probably not. but theyre trying and its something. meanwhile kyle is too busy running a knock off t shirt operation (pretty easy when you dont have to pay royalties to any of the likenesses you steal, aint it, laskowski?) and jim is too busy sucking c o c k to bother offering any content whatsoever.

    im more interested to see what cb’s traffic is like y2y. its clear to me theyre producing FAR less content this year than they were last year and the year before. the eagles arent good but are interesting. the flyers have won 9 in a row. joel embiid exists. nova is no. 1. temple is looking for a new coach. theres plenty of stories and plenty of angles.

    but what do we have? we have a link to a 3 day old youtube video about pistachio girl. enlightening.

  11. Eric Rowe is the Eagles 2nd round pick in 2015. They Cut him. He now plays REGULARLY for the N.E. PATRIOTS !!
    Get RID OF LURIE, HOWEEEE & DOUGIEE the YES MAN ! Jefreee PLEASE sell this team.

    This site SUCKS PEOPLE.

  12. He’s the person God answers to. They should make an exemption and put him into the HOF while he is still playing.

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