The Eagles Will Not Play in London Next Year

Photo Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

In 2017, the NFL will continue its subtle insult to our former colonizers by putting on four more terrible football games in their country. None will involve the Eagles. Here are the International Series games for next season:

  • Ravens vs. Jaguars – Week 3 (Wembley Stadium)
  • Saints vs. Dolphins – Week 4 (Wembley Stadium)
  • Browns vs. Vikings – Week 7 (Twickenham)
  • Cardinals vs. Rams – Week 8 (Twickenham)

NFL UK Managing Director Alistair Kirkwood – perhaps the most British name of all time – really tried to spin the Browns as a positive: “Having one of the most famous fan groups in the NFL, Cleveland’s Dawg Pound, sharing Twickenham with our U.K. fans is going to be a lot of fun.” No one agreed.

In additional news, the NFL has decided to move on from their annual Pinktober, which had faced scrutiny for being more about visuals than anything else. Teams can still wear pink and support breast cancer awareness if they want, but they’ll now have a choice to support their own cancer charity though the NFL’s new “A Crucial Catch” initiative. Perhaps they can also find a way to up the percentage of the money they raise.

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7 Responses

  1. I always thought the whole pink thing was pandering. Some guys were genuine because they had a mom or sister or someone who had breast cancer, but most just wore pink to wear pink. I know, because I can read their minds. I have special powers. I wouldn’t say I’m a mutant, but I wouldn’t not say it either. I go to a special school for people like me. My friend Bill can shoot laser beams out of his eyes. It’s fucked up.

    1. These players look like a bunch of pussies wearing pink out there.

      Like Goodell’s minions wearing prescribed pink accessories is going to help cancer patients!


  2. So the Vikings just built a new stadium and they are already shipping those games out of town. Isn’t the whole job creation crap what they try to sell the public when they swindle the hundreds of millions of dollars from them? These people are already being made to take a 10% pay cut, but yet the owners will still pocket their full share.

  3. “The Eagles Will Not Play in London Next Year”

    The Eagles can’t even play quality football here in the USA. Why inflict this garbage on another country?

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