John Kruk Builds The Legend of Chase F*cking Utley

Photo Credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Chase Utley legend building is my favorite thing. First we had two tales from Peter Gammons. One of an intentional HBP he asked for, and a shot off the wall with a gut fill of chowder. Now, Gammons is known to spin a yarn or two, so these may be tall tales at least in part. John Kruk is more of a salt of the Earth guy, so when he tells a story, it probably true. Like the one time he played an amazing prank on Utley:

The best prank I ever pulled … was on Chase Utley. His first hit in the big leagues was a grand slam for the Phillies. It was his first day. We set this thing up where we called him into Larry Bowa’s office and said, “Your papers weren’t submitted in time. You were an illegal player. It doesn’t count.” He screamed, “Eff all of you!” and walked out.

One of the best traditions in baseball is giving a player the silent treatment after their first home run, but I’d be down with this secretly replacing that. And Chase screaming “fuck you all” and then storming out of the office seems like the most Chase thing ever.

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23 Responses

      1. Welcome to Crossing Broad.

        Make as many racist comments as you want.

        Just don’t challenge Kyle on his knowledge of the stock market.

        He’s gotta be really proud when he looks at his son. And thinks, “I paid for that outfit by letting racists post comments!”

      1. No. GLASS MASK was throw off of the top of Liberty 1 over the weekend by
        Marcellus Wallace.
        The only people that know why he was thrown off are the late Black Ass Master Glass Masker
        and M Wallace. Rumour was that Glass Mask was making gay DP and TP chicken hawk P0RNs
        to pay for his smack etc and that he was the meat in the sandwich.

        LET THE POOR SOB rest in peace!

  1. Kyle, I need some hot picks on some put options seeing as you predict a massive selloff coming. What company, what month expiration, strike price, and also an offsetting hedge resulting in a 25% return. Thanks! !

      1. GTFO!
        It was just around $7.65 last week.

        Should have bought AMD, late march 2016. 300%+

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