Ben Simmons Will Be Run Out of Town For This Very Specific Reason

Hear ye! Hear ye! Come see this straw man, which serves as a perfect example for why the Philly media will run Ben Simmons out of town.

Oh, you mean would we like one of the best players on the planet who plays the game like Chase Utley on amphetamines and likes to have a little fun on the side? Yeah, I think we could make do.

This, this right here is why Ben Simmons will be run out of town. Aside from his flashiness and antics (Bryce Harper is only 24 years old), Harper plays the game exactly how Philly fans want their stars to play the game– hard, fast, and with an edge. There’s nothing to even debate. Simmons, on the other hand, will most likely play with a superstar cool, be aloof to the media, and generally have personal time habits that we hate due to our inferiority complex. And oh man, the radio guys REALLY aren’t going to like that.

Side note: This isn’t Rob and Harry’s fault. They don’t believe this, and they’re arguing for Harper on the air. But, it generates calls, and unintentionally or not, it will shape the opinions of some small-minded fans.

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40 Responses

    1. Kyle, You are wrong!
      If Simmons plays really well and wins big games he will be loved. But he wont do that. He is very soft, very fragile, and very weak. He will not be run out of town. He will be traded for a draft pick in 2 years. Simmons will be a huge bust.

    2. Post Easter sale. All Nissan’s must go! Bring your wife or girlfriend wearing bunny ears and I will give you 30% off while you watch me slap my salami all over them.

  1. Kyle, Rob and Harry should come up with better show topics! Of course they’re complicit in creating the wasteland that is Philly sports radio!

    1. This blog’s gonna fold soon. I’ve gotta huge mortgage to pay, so I’ll need a job. Can’t burn any bridges.

    2. Yeah I thought that was weird that he thought it wasn’t their fault…it’s their show, they pick the topics! Don’t want to sound like an idiot asking dumb questions, don’t pick dumb topics! Not their fault, lol

  2. I actually feel sick saying this, but its actually true. Lil Robbie E actually said he hated that question. But the real crime here is posting that question. By asking it, you feed into the idiotic mindset of an unfortunately large portion of the fan base. So yes we can blame Rob and Harry here. They could easily just talk about how great it would be to have Harper. And yes Simmons will get demonized in this city especially because of the love affair with Embiid. This city and its media will undoubtedly pin those two against each other.

  3. Small-mindedness? You mean the same people who vote for Trump and/or are Republican? That’s your party. Don’t separate yourself from the mouth breathers as if you are different.

    1. Made in USA, Strong borders, rule of law, supporting police and the troops – capping muslim immigration at a reasonable number…….

      yeah those trump supporters are real morons…….

  4. Yeah, because a fan base that fell for the idiocy of “Trust the Process” and failed to see that as anything but a clever marketing slogan drummed by an investment banker owner will dare to complain if Simmons doesn’t hustle like Iverson? No, Sixers fans will take whatever dog shit they get next year, love it, and ask for seconds and thirds. Whatever Sixers fans are, they are decidedly not stereotypical Philly fans. Jury still out on whether that’s a positive or not

  5. 1) How many times are you going to post your snowflake liberal anti-Trump crap. We finally have a leader that isn’t gonna sit around until that North Korean nut can blow up the world.

    2) Gargano went on a rant today about how it was “ridiculous” MCW was let go over cost savings. He went on to say how much MCW does for the show. This guy has to get his head out of his pants.

    1. The Cuz is just defending his woman over the airwaves and if it wind up costing him his job so what at least he defended MCW’S honor to the cheap management at 97.5 the fanatic.

    2. Honestly think that Cuz would play better nationally or elsewhere as a caricature of a Philly fan than he does here. He should look elsewhere.

      1. Incorrect-amundo

        97.5 utilizes his best traits and highlights them alot better than WIP ever would have. His fanboy love affair with anyone famous is his schtick that works and how he gets all excited about everything.


  6. The fans and media criticized Hamels for being soft/aloof until he blitzed through the ’08 playoffs and World Series. Winning cures all.

    1. Then I pissed that goodwill away by taking the 2009 season off and saying that I couldn’t wait for it to end after the Yankees kicked my ass in Game 3.

  7. Hawwwwww dat’s why I got my loyal fans to boot joshy washy innes outta town bo. He ain’t meat and he wasnt Philly bo. 4 for 4 bo

  8. kyle scott..never write a artile ever again in your life. you should have never been writing in the first place…you, sir, are dumb as fucking rocks and should just try something new for a career…say mini golf or working at a gay bar..also, this is the dumbest, most waste of time, thing i have ever read in my life..i liter would have rather read a dictionary than this junk of writing that you call an article. I would like to meet your boss because I would love to meet the person dumb enough to hire a mentally handicapped person named Kyle Scott to write dumb, pointless, comical aticles that make people dumber by just simply reading it

      1. lmao well that actually makes sense because noone should ever approve these articles that my 2 year old niece could write in about 5 minutes..your articles are junk and you should really find something else for a career, since you get about 10 likes and comments at the max on twitter(which doesn’t really make sense cause you have like 33k followers) Please Please Please stop writing these junk ass articles and find something relevant for your life and not talk about sports, which it looks like you never played a sport in your entire life, rather you just played video games and got yelled at for playing too long

    1. I need to know if this comment is serious or some kind of parody. Not only is the spelling that of a child, but you do realize he owns this blog right?

    1. I would take 15 years of the process over being the atlanta hawks for the rest of eternity which is basically what the sixers have turned into since the last millenium.

  9. I have no idea what the phrase “and generally have personal time habits that we hate due to our inferiority complex” is supposed to mean. It reads like a poorly translated fortune cookie. But speaking of straw men, the media doesn’t run athletes out of town — the fans and their incredibly unrealistic expectations do. You know, like expecting Ben Simmons to be the next Magic Johnson — that type of thing.

    1. I have no fucking idea what it means either. I’m just trying to milk this stupid half-assed hot take for more than one post. Jim’s articles sucked but they at least filled the page. Help!

  10. (Fill in name) has been diagnosed with a (fill-in). He will be sidelined (fill in time) and is expected to miss (fill in number of games).

  11. Thank God no one ever tried to run Donovan McNabb out of town because he “wasn’t a Philly type guy.”

    Then again seven seasons without a playoff win has been a lot of fun, hasn’t it?

    1. “black magic” was great when he was elusive running around and making things happen with his feet and then he’d throw the ball… someones feet. at least he never threw an interception…….. until the playoffs that is.

      in all honesty though he was great to watch and those were the best eagles years in my opinion, sucks that the patriots stole his one ring by knowing every move he was making and confusing the sh*t out of him.

  12. Philly guy? No wonder this shitmhole of a town has only one two World Series. You fuck faces should be licking harpers balls and tossing his salad! Fucking losers to even think we need a philly guy. What’s a philly guy some fat slob like you have had on the front page for almost a fucking week! Oh and I lie on the surveys here my age is different every time fuckers!

  13. The fucking process is a fucking scam the philly dopes are complete morons the process is wait and wait and wait and maybe overtime before you die the sisters might win a championship around the same time inversion will be homeless!

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