Phillies 2017 Hat and Jersey Onslaught Revealed


Just like last year, MLB and the Phillies have special uniforms and hats for Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Father’s Day, the Fourth of July, and the All-Star Game. One change this year is that the special uniforms will be worn the entire holiday weekends instead of just the namesake days. Also, due to the “official sock of…” sponsorship, Stance has provided custom socks for each of the holidays which you can see on the writeup.

Other than pointing out that the Mother’s and Father’s Day designs are generally the same as last year, and that I continue to be amazed at the different ways they churn out different flag- and camouflage-inspired hats, I’ll generally let the designs speak for themselves. Speaking of things that speak for the quality of some of the designs: you can still buy the 2010 ice cream man hat on MLBShop (but only in 7 7/8… ladies).


Memorial Day

Notice the stupid New Era logo on every hat. As of 2017, every single on-field hat as the logo above the left ear in a contrasting color.


Like last year, no team colors to be found, but the slightly less prominent camouflage and solid olive color gives it a bit more of a military feel, I suppose. Five stars on the right side for the five branches of the military (when you kind of cheat and include the Coast Guard as part of the military and not Department of Homeland Security). Oddly, the Blue Jays have four maple leaves (well, maple leaves aren’t odd… just Canadian), though they have three military branches. So, I suppose the fourth is for the, uh, Mounties?


Mother’s Day and Father’s Day



Fourth of July

The Fourth of July hat uses a plastic/foil logo which reminds me of the puffiness of the first batch of Topps Finest cards from the 90s. Expect to see a team adopt a normal hat with this type of logo in the next five years. [Shop talk: It appears the logos are printed flat and then probably heat embossed. It appears they’re getting a little bit greedy in terms of emboss height, so there’s some nasty warping, especially around the sharp points of the stars.] They added a slightly heathered appearance to the fabric… because they could.

And some credit where credit is due: the Star-Spangled Sweatband™ is a pretty neat detail most fans will likely never see which the hats don’t really need but it does add a little “hey check this out” to the design:



All-Star Game Batting Practice/”Workout Day” Hat and Jersey



Unless you’re a parent of one of the players, please don’t buy this.


All-Star Game Hat


Gold is fun. Heathered fabric is odd.

Original pictures from MLB’s Press Release:

Composite Pictures are own work or from where noted.

Finally, here’s a consolidated view of the entire 2017 Phillies set.

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98 Responses

  1. Can’t believe I missed Fuck Fest 2017. Like a kid missing Christmas – not sure if you all know but I fuck strong.

  2. Ach… why is this even a post

    Sheeee….iiitt. 7 yr olds can write better stoties than this.

    J to the V.

  3. Best suggestion wins a dinner for two draft chalk talk at a Brazilian Steak House.

  4. Dan Fuller?

    Is this the jabroni that you’re going to be doing podcasts with? The one i saw that was wearing Jordans and backwards hat? Shocking that he posts about fitted hats.

  5. They are called uniforms for a reason. More watering down of tradition.

    Now you need pink bats on Mother’s Day because you have to think of breast cancer. So stupid.

    1. Who cares about women’s titties anyway. Only good for fucking and sucking nothing more.

      Bradster out!

  6. Just more bullshit trinkets from the Phillies to distract fans from the shit that is on the field.

    I can’t believe some douchebag above took the time to “rank” these various hats from other years. What a jock-sniffer!

  7. I don’t care what the phils wear, they are dreadful. Bad starting pitching, shitty offense, terrible bullpen and a manager in over his head.
    Boring team without 1 legit good player.

  8. My top 3 favorite and least favorite crossing broad comments shticks

    1. the car dealership orgy
    2. making fun of cuz
    3. dave spadaro

    1. kyle scott responding to things
    2. little timmy gudel
    3. andy schrieber

    1. just because the sex is really good here doesnt mean its not good elsewhere

      hear the fuckfest at gary barbera #1 dodge land is insane. girls squirting everywhere. guys blasting loads on the cars. heard a midget fucked a gas tank. gary barbera showed up. dude is hung.

      1. Barbera can hold is own for sure, but did you see what those Chapman brothers did at Fuck Fest 17? Holy shit.

      2. Wonder if the guy on the Gary barbera commercials with the really fucking annoying voice showed up

  9. Cuz makes 6 figures from 975 and still has to get up at 6am and work a saturday show for fox? how deep in the hole is he?

    i actually worry for him. hes really fat and borderline obese. his lifestyle is troubling. guy is boozing and eating all night and not on any kind of normal sleep schedule. still watches all the games. under a lot of stress obviously. the results are him being 400 pounds of deli meat.

    some of his friends need to sit him down and tell him to get help. hes going to die like james gandolfini from this.

      1. I saw a picture of Anthony Gargano, MCW and Charles Barkley together and I swear to God the CUZ is so fat he made Barkley look slim and trim.

        If Mikey Miss really cares about the CUZ then he needs to tell the CUZ to lose some weight and get into better shape or die an early death from a massive heart attack.

        1. Agreed mm needs to step up and be a hard nose supporting friend of obese cuz. Not sure if the cuz smokes but if he does that will speed up his near future heart attack .

      1. Actually, they both think they should be national guys and they try to get as much tv time as they can to help that cause. There is no money in sports final – it’s only about face time.

        In the sports broadcasting industry – local sports radio is laughed at. They are embarrassed to be stuck in these roles and want something bigger but will never get it.

      2. Right. It’s not about greed asshole. It’s about being on television. Radio guys and writers KILL to get on air. And as stated above their egos make them believe that they are destined for a national calling. At one point Eskin believed he was going to get a national show on satellite radio and Mikey Miss once had the audacity on air to question a caller who referenced Bill Simmons on his show by asking what he did that was so special. Mike is a very pooeve r man’s Simmons with all his pop culture tv and movie references, if you don’t think it’s killing him that Simmons is national and he’s stuck in Philadelphia then you don’t understand his ego.

  10. Information on how he broke it ? Punching a wall perhaps or fisting another man? Wondering if Crossing Broad COBRA plan covered the XRay or not? Wondering when Jim will be available to play in the Open Challenge?

    1. Kyle already showed us that he buys his own insurance on the indy market. There are no benefits to being a CB employee.

  11. Let me tell you idiots about Christian McCaffrey…. He is 5’11”, he has short arms (30in), small hands (9in), and he can only bench 225 – 10 times. Very unimpressive. He is smart, he is a team player… great …. the Patriots are the ONLY team that can utilize a skill-less player like McCaffrey. Eagles need to draft a CB or LB, someone with attitude, strength, speed, and swag…

  12. Got drunk with MCW last night, she told me that she likes Ant because he is a nice guy with a huge dick and he can fuck, but she also said he eats in the middle of the night, one morning she woke up next to him and he had oil and vinegar with olive loaf all over his chest… she said she almost threw up.

  13. Who wudda thunk it? John Kruk BLOWS. Not everything you say is funny. And……McCarthy knows nothing about Baseball

    1. And here I thought he left ESPN cause he loved Philly…apparently he’s a total prick IRL as well.

  14. 5:30 is guna be a little hard for me. I work in Devon, traffic is a killer that time of day. What time do you think it will go till?

    P.S. Is this event strictly for hetero couples?

  15. Uncle Wheels is coming for Easter. He makes me eat his pee-pee pudding. Sometime when he gives my tinkler a bath with tongue his hair falls off. I’m 11!!!!

  16. Daft punk is playing at my house. There’s a freak out brewing in my house. You got to set them up kid.

  17. Is Cuz taking a massive paycut to return to 975? He had of been getting paid solid 6 figures with ratings bonuses to get him over a mil…Mike Miss with the bonuses def. makes over a mil. Cuz’s ratings are garbage.

    I wonder if 975 is giving him less. What other option does he have? WIP wont have him back and the most national work he can get is doing saturday morning on fox sports radio which have to have insanely bad numbers. if im 975 i pay him 90k a year

    1. He’s making about 250,000-300,000. Mike is earning about $500,000 and no way Ant is paid better than Mike. The only reason Mike is well paid is because he is carrying the station. Without him it would become a music station.

    2. Deez nuts your a fucking moron. The above commentor is write , Mike Miss makes around $500k and Cuz is around $250k-$350k depending upon bonuses. Angelo makes a round $1.1 mil with his ratings bonuses the own lee sports talk radio guy who clears a mil.

  18. Poetic ending to make up for that stiff Blanton yesterday. The game should never have come to this if Gonzales got the job done in 8th inning.

  19. Who’s excited for that fat pig to return tomorrow and pretend like he was just on vacation? That no talent loser is just going to act like nothing happened, continue to slurp Wentz and Baldys nut sacks and bore the entire area to death with his lame draft talk

    1. Some crossing broad faithful has to call in and ask him where he was and report back under the MMRU

    2. Hawwwwwww bo, get off my back bo.. they did mcw dirty bo. I love her to the 🌙 moon and back bo. Civil war with 97.6 if I have to bo

  20. There’s no way Cuz acknowledges his little self imposed time on-air. He is going to pretend it never happened and never mention it. A caller might bring it up, he’ll give short one word answers (Thanks, Yea, Sure, etc.) and steer the conversation elsewhere. He doesn’t keep it real and that’s why a decent portion of the audience doesn’t buy his shtick.

  21. Make sure to buy that All-Star jersey for the token Phillies’ representative this year who will only be there because they have to select one player from every team.

    This team is boring, still has not promoted their young positional prospects, and going to lose 90+ games again this year. Maybe by 2019 they’ll spend some money again and start to try to put out a competitive team on the field.

    At least Middleton wasn’t stupid enough to increase season ticket prices again this year like they did after 2015. Only a freaking retard does that coming off a year where they were the worst team in MLB and said they were going to be entering a rebuilding phase.

  22. Gargano held out last week to speed up his new contract negotiation. It worked, Ant is very happy with his new deal. I am hearing he will be making a little over 1million per year plus ratings bonuses.

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