Buffalo Wild Wings Is Dying and I Couldn't Be Happier
Here are the reasons cited in this Business Insider piece as to why millennials are killing off casual dining restaurants like Buffalo Wild Wings and Applebees:
Cooking at home
Fast casual and quick-serve restaurants
Grocery chains delivering
Not mentioned: THEIR FOOD IS SHIT!
How can an entire article be written blaming millennials for driving shit restaurants out of business without mentioning that younger people like, you know, real fucking food? Buffalo Wild Wings serves hot wings the way Colonial Nissan has an actual giant. Neither are real– both are just marketing stand-ins to make the commercials look good.
BWW, Applebees and all those similar chain restaurants exist only because massive marketing budgets were able to convince a generation of idiots that what they served was somehow authentic [insert Americanized version of a not really ethnic food, like shrimp or flank steak]. We now know better. For years, marketing is what came to define “quality.” Keep in mind, the last two generations bought literal cancer sticks because a cartoon camel and an asshole in a cowboy hat told them to. No hyperbole– people sucked on a burning sticks that had the sole benefit of KILLING THEM. By comparison, selling fucktards on a few overcooked, pre-frozen chicken balls is rather easy. Remember, BWW is a place that serves its wing sauce in a MF-ing squirt bottle. A SQUIRT BOTTLE! You know the only two things that should come out of a squirt bottle? Heinz products and douche.
At this point BWW might as well just come out with a sauce called Summer’s Eve— slightly tangy and pungent with a hint of sweetness and a lingering aftertaste. Throw a few mil behind that and you could probably make it the most popular menu item in Alabama and perhaps Mississippi and Florida, too. If you think that sounds gross, you clearly haven’t tried any of BWW’s boneless dry rubs, which taste like salted rocks that were pissed on by a snake (do snakes piss?).
All the reasons listed in the article are true, too, but at the end of the day, those things are all just excuses for the simple fact that people can easily spot the difference between mass-produced shit and actual food. Chipotle isn’t a thing because it’s fast and easy– it’s a thing because you can actually see them cooking the chicken (never mind the salmonella thing). So now, the barrier between the local shack with hot, delicious wings and a communist food ration provider with a yellow sign and bright TVs is almost non-existent. They’re all on a level playing field on Yelp or in a quick search for “best local wings.”
I don’t hate T.G.I. Friday’s or whatever– those places are fine and sometimes good for a quick bite. But generally speaking, most items you’ll find at them are the homogenized versions of what you could probably get down the street at a real restaurant. And as for Buffalo Wild Wings, that bastardized hell hole… that place can go fuck itself.