From the Eagles’ website:

A cutting-edge “Sponge Suit” that has the unique ability to clean the ocean by absorbing harmful oil-based contaminants as you swim will be prominently featured in the 2018 Philadelphia Eagles Swimsuit Calendar, which went on sale today.

The Sponge Suit was designed by Eray/Carbajo, an architecture and design studio based in New York and Istanbul, with technology engineered by Sponge, Inc. The prototype was created using a super-hydrophobic carbon based “sponge” material fitted into a cutting-edge 3D printed form. This environmentally proactive wearable technology has the ability to absorb harmful oil-based contaminants, while repelling water. The contaminants are trapped within the inner pores of the material so that the wearer does not come in contact with it. The design allows to recycle the saturated “sponge” fillers to refill with new inserts.

The highly anticipated 2018 Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders Calendar can be purchased here, at Eagles Pro Shops starting this Thursday, and in bookstores nationwide.

That’s it. This is too much. Christina Lurie has gone too far. She can have our electric power grid. She can have our Kelly Green. She can even have the entire Sun over K Lot. But she will never, AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER, take our string bikinis.

Side note: Am I the only one thinking that the cheerleader in the photo is not cleaning anything since the entire bathing suit is OUT of the body of water it intends to clean? Get in there and get frolicking, the whales need saving!

Side note 2: How dirty is this thing when it comes out the water? Is it like a fish filter– just gunked up with carbon and feces? I mean, this all sounds good until Amber slowly emerges from the breakers and looks like a dragnet filled with mollusks. Gross.

You can see the video here.