I, for one, can not WAIT until the iPhone X comes out, so I can animate everything Marcus Hayes writes exclusively through poop Emoji. Honest to God, I might just make it a running feature on this site where I read every Marcus Hayes column as a pile of poop. You think I’m kidding. I am not kidding. I might do dramatic readings and make it for subscribers only. If this is my path to getting rich, then so be it.

I am going to try to lay out the nuts and bolts of what happened today that has led to ultimate social justice warrior Shaun King – a Black Lives Matter activist with over 700k Twitter followers who has a habit of piling on injustices – lambasting the Eagles and Jeffrey Lurie on Twitter and eliciting a response from the team itself, all while Hayes spins down the drain of his own ineptitude. Truly, this is incredible. Riley Cooper is even invoked for good measure. We’ve come full-circle in so many ways that I don’t know what to make of it.

Last week, Lurie held an impromptu press conference during which he was asked about Colin Kaepernick. I noted in my… notes… from the presser that his answer – “I don’t think anyone protesting the National Anthem in and of itself is very respectful… but I think we can sometimes misinterpret what those are” – was far from a ringing endorsement of Kaepernick, especially from arguably the most liberal owner in the NFL. He followed it up by explaining that often those gestures aren’t protesting the National Anthem itself,  but rather using it as a platform to bring attention to something specific, which is even better when backed up with good work in the community, like Malcolm Jenkins does.

Thankfully, no one took Lurie’s quote out of context.

Until today… when Marcus Hayes wrote a column about Lurie’s stance on Kaepernick and, incredibly, managed to remove those words from their necessary context ALL WHILE TRYING TO DEFEND LURIE, bringing scorn unto both himself, as a bigot and as an inept reporter, and Lurie.

Here’s how Hayes framed it in a piece titled “Colin Kaepernick’s act is a non-starter for Jeffrey Lurie’s Eagles“:

Lurie earned a Ph.D. in social policy at Brandeis, whose curriculum examines social and racial inequality. Dr. Lurie (Dr. Lurie?!) is infinitely more qualified to address this complex and divisive issue than his peers, such as the newsprint manufacturer who owns the Patriots. Robert Kraft has only an MBA from Columbia (and, of course, five Super Bowl rings).

Kraft also is one of seven NFL owners who have donated at least $1 million to President Trump, Kaepernick’s Critic-in-Chief. Lurie didn’t give The Donald a dime, but that doesn’t mean he disagrees with Trump’s distaste for the Colin Kaepernick experience:

Sitting out the anthem; wearing socks with cartoons of pigs in police uniforms; wearing a shirt that featured Fidel Castro; equating Hillary Clinton with Trump, and not bothering to vote in November.

It’s the anthem thing that Lurie can’t get past.

“I don’t think anybody who is protesting the national anthem … is very respectful,” Lurie said. “If that’s all their platform is, is to protest the national anthem, then what’s the proactive nature of it?”

Ironically, both Hayes and Lurie are today being attacked by liberal thought leaders too eager to feign outrage and not bother to check to see that both Hayes and Lurie would typically side with them on most issues.

It started with King absolutely trashing the Eagles and Lurie:

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908355539519852546

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908356293210943488

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908356465790001152

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908356828626608133

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908357014170095616

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908357164225490944

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908357422531727361

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908357652534702080

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908357855488724992

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908358143188639744

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908358344875933696

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908358544143122432

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908358701953798156

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908358878219382786

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908359130380939264

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908359456894930944

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908360276667502592

Here’s the thing: Lurie never mentioned any of that stuff Hayes wrote about. Maybe it was implied, but Hayes extrapolated a whole lot, using Lurie’s answer to cite the fine work done by Jenkins.

Incredibly, the Eagles waded into the fray:

Of note:

“It’s a big problem in America, social injustice. It’s a big problem around the globe. Anybody who wants to do proactive things, to try to reverse social injustice, I’m all in favor of. It has to be respectful. It certainly has to respect the military and the people that serve, the women and men that serve our country, emergency responders, whoever that is. You’ve got to, I think, do it in a respectful way.

“But I applaud anybody that can find respectful ways of trying to use their platform in some way to discuss social injustice. We all need to discuss it. We’ve all seen it around us. We live in a city that has a lot of it. There are multiple issues. They’re not simply racial issues. There are a lot of economic issues.”

…

“I don’t think anybody who is protesting the National Anthem, in and of itself, is very respectful. If that’s all their platform is, is to protest the National Anthem, then what’s the proactive nature of it? But I think we sometimes can misinterpret what those are. I’ve talked to Malcolm Jenkins about it. He’s very involved in our community here…”

In response, King falls back on a MARCUS HAYES ARTICLE and asks the Eagles to reject him and all of his works:

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/908378384773853185

In truth, the Hayes article wasn’t entirely unfair. He seems to have an issue with Lurie’s assertion that there are more “respectful” ways to protest, while also clearly pointing out that the Eagles’ owner is not a racist or fascist.

From the Hayes piece:

Lurie frowns on anthem protests, but he can stomach them as long as they are part of a larger, pointed strategy to effect change. He isn’t a fan of alienating police and the military, or their supporters, but he’ll risk alienation as long as the offending protests have a specific point, and if the protester is willing to work to fix the problem.

Inevitably, the Michael Vick situation comes up:

He compared Kaepernick’s situation to that of a felon whose sadistic cruelty to animals sickened a nation:

“With Michael Vick, there was a complete vetting of: ‘How is he as a teammate? What is his character? What is his potential? What is his football intelligence? Can he be a backup?’ ”

Sigh.

Then, towards the end:

Consider it a moment of poor judgment by Lurie. He has earned a pass for using the “football intelligence” dog whistle. Few owners have been as color-blind as he. Ray Rhodes and Emmitt Thomas, the first head coach and defensive coordinator he hired, were black. Personnel executives John Wooten and Dick Daniels helped rebuild the franchise. Randall Cunningham, Rodney Peete, Donovan McNabb and Vick played quarterback for Lurie. Oddly, Jason Peters calls Lurie his “best friend.”

Of course, Hayes is now being dragged into the mud, both because of his defense for Lurie and because he’s an idiot:

https://twitter.com/ZipSquad_JihaD/status/908394157718339586

Needless to say, the media at large has now picked up on these Lurie quotes FROM LAST WEEK which were today taken out of context by Marcus Hayes, which led to King blasting the Eagles, who were forced to tweet the entire context, because Marcus is a big dumb idiot:

Marcus never ceases to amaze.