The 2017 football season gets off to a rollicking start as a national personality and former GM trashes the Eagles’ head coach.

Good morning, minions! I love this day. Back to work, back to school, back to FOOTBALL. And what better way to kick things off than by discussing the merits of the drive-by shooting former Browns GM Mike Lombardi laid on Doug Pederson.

First, Lombardi, in a clip(?) for The Ringer:

The transcription, as courtesy-d by Brandon Lee Gowton of Bleeding Green Nation:

“My beloved 76ers once hired a guy by the name of Roy Rubin from Long Island University. Poor Roy. He finished 4-47 before the Sixers canned him. 4-47! Years later, Fred Carter said ‘Letting Rubin coach was like letting a teenager run a big corporation.’

Hey Fred, meet the Eagles’ head coach, Doug Pederson! Now, everybody knows Pederson isn’t a head coach. He might be less qualified to coach a team than anyone I’ve ever seen in my 30-plus years in the NFL.

Pederson was barely a coordinator before he became head coach. Can you imagined if we elected a United States president who didn’t have any real training? Sorry, don’t answer that.

Look, the Eagles looked increasingly sloppy and unprepared as the 2016 season limped along. That ain’t changing in ’17.

Only Carson Wentz can save Pederson’s job, and Wentz actually got worse during his rookie year, not better.

When will the Eagles admit their mistake? Will they throw away 2017 by stubbornly sticking to the Pederson Principle?

The immortal Roy Rubin lasted 51 games. I bet Doug Pederson lasts way less than that.”

Flames. Lettorical flames.

Before we get into the merits of the critique (it has some!), let’s take a look at Doug’s sheepish response yesterday, which, while pleasant, lacked a certain… um… what’s the phrase I’m looking for– ah, there is it: GO FUCK THAT GUY!

Here’s Pederson responding to the question asked by the outstanding Tim McManus:

I imagine that if you directed fighting words at a can of tuna, it would have a stronger response than Pederson had. Whatever. Is there anything to Lombardi’s criticism?

He is not… wrong. Pederson doesn’t have much experience. He was coaching high school just a few years ago. He’s a career-long understudy who wasn’t tapped with any responsibility until his last year under the Fat Man, during which he was granted permission to call half of the plays… for half of the games. His signature moment was an eight-minute drive that carried with it a mandatory sidecar of a recovered onside kick which effectively ended his team’s season.

Much of the reaction yesterday – if you were one of the unfortunate souls to spend Labor Day on Eagles Twitter – focused on the fact that Lombardi was a failed GM of the Browns and, himself, has a resume that would require some fudging. He’s not exactly engaging from a position of strength, but rather he’s attacking Douglas from what literally may be Bill Simmons’ game room. But Lombardi did spend years in NFL front offices and is, at least in theory (and name), a part of “league circles.” Typically, they don’t close in on each other the way Lombardi did on Pederson unless there is some genuine strife or the coach is Chip Kelly. Lombardi putting a beatdown on Pederson comes straight out of left field and feels personal. What a way to kick off the season. And not that this lends any credibility to the rumor at all, but I can tell you that there is one magazine reporter out there poking around about the veracity of that Crusher Doug rumor. So that’s where we are going into Week 1– Pederson getting gang-banged by Lombardi, and a salacious office rumor that seems to have found new life. FLYYYYYYY EAGLES FLY.