This site was built for days like this.

For a while now, people have complained that we’re too negative, too cynical, too… whatever. The problem is, for five years we’ve had little to celebrate. No team has won a playoff series since 2012 – when the Sixers beat a decimated Bulls team in the first round – and together they have endured a stretch that we haven’t seen in this town since the early 90s. Since then, at least one team has always made a run– the Flyers in the mid and late 90s, the Eagles in the early 2000s, and the Phillies after that. But since 2012? Nothing. Pure misery in almost all regards. Failed coaching experiments, busts, injuries, tanking, malaise, epic flameouts– you name it, we’ve had it.

Meanwhile, the world has changed around us. Social media, mobile devices, cord cutting and even fantasy sports have changed our consumption habits. The last time a Philly team was truly good (not counting Villanova because the assholes in the comments don’t like it when I do), our system of fandom had us immediately turning to Postgame Live to celebrate and regale. It had us listening to sports talk radio to feed our inner beast. And it had us turning to websites like this one to keep up with the daily deluge of masturbatory takes.

During the absence of quality local sports, regional sports networks have been turned into an unnecessary redundancy, good only for broadcasting games and not much else. Sports talk radio has given way to podcasts, which better serve die-hard fans. And we’ve been forced these last few years to shit on all the things that deserved shitting on, finding our lane only when there was a genuine controversy or to report on the palace intrigue of sports talk radio. But for those who were with us from 2010-2013, when the Flyers made their Stanley Cup run, the Phillies ran a train on the National League for two seasons, and the Eagles stormed out of nowhere during Chip Kelly’s first season, then you know when this site is at its best.

That is all a very long, and very self-serving way of saying that WE’RE FUCKING BACK. Our teams have turned the corner and hit the accelerator. It’s time to dive into the giant pool of coconut oil, rub some on our loins, and get lubricious on our ass, because we have wins to celebrate, opponents to mock, and fucking trophies to grab.

The Eagles are contenders, if not favorites. Go ahead, bask in it.

What they did yesterday to a good Denver defense was remarkable. But it’s not just the sheer volume of points they point up, it’s the efficiency with which they did it.

First of all, they only punted twice, which is stupid.

But they were downright efficient on their touchdown drives:

7 plays, 75 yards

3 plays, 15 yards

6 plays, 75 yards

4 plays, 75 yards

13 plays, 77 yards

3 plays, 11 yards

5 plays, 48 yards

Remove that one 13-play drive, and the Eagles had six touchdown drives with an average of 4.6 plays per drive. Prior to yesterday, the average plays per touchdown drive in the NFL was 7.3, with no team coming in under 5.9 plays. The Eagles were 11th in the league at 6.9 per drive. Yesterday, even if you include the 13-play drive, they were at 5.9 plays per drive. Remarkable. So much for Doug’s dink-and-dunk, tuna can offense. Howie Roseman went out and got him gamebreakers, and Pederson has played to each guy’s respective strengths, scheming up a fucking menu of effective plays to disrobe a defense and leave their nuts hanging out in the sun, which, according to Gabe Kapler, might do them some good anyway.

And the Eagles did it in a variety of ways. The run-pass option to Alshon Jeffery, the shovel pass to Corey Clement, the home run by Jay Ajayi, the deep pass to Trey Burton. Carson Wentz was downright vicious in his ability to quick-strike. He only wound up with 199 yards, but threw four touchdowns. It’s silly, really.

The most impressive thing is the plug-and-play ability. Oh, hey, is our best receiver out? No problem, we’ll put 792-year-old Brent Celek out there in the passing game and then throw a ludicrous deep ball to Trey Burton as we line him up out wide.

Did Darren Sproles go down? No problem, we’ll rely on LeGarrette Blount and Corey Clement for a few weeks and then we’ll go out and get Jay Ajay and his weird-ass partial English accent and he’ll smash a 49-yard run on one of his first carries. And then we’ll rely on Clement some more, because why the fuck not?

What Pederson is doing with the running backs feels A LOT like what Bill Belichick does with running backs– using them unpredictably and playing to each of their respective strengths. It’s a fucking box of chocolates, and you just never know what you’re going to get! Perhaps against Dallas we’ll bite into a thick load of Smallwood, or get blasted by the Jay Train running behind Johnson, or get pounded out by Blount chewing up yards behind Big V. Oops, did I just get sexual? I THINK I DID!

Let’s Wood!


The Eagles ran out of fireworks

This is my favorite thing of the day. They might want to consult with the Phillies 2008 guy– they’re gonna need more of those.


Ajayi in the dark

If you read these dots very carefully, they actually spell out “FUCK YOU, ADAM GASE.”



2004 vs. 2017

I love this graphic. The similarities are striking. Not identical, but close.

That Eagles defense, with Brian Dawkins, was legendary in its ability to turn the frickin ball over. The game has changed, too, so that offensive output may be even more impressive in retrospective, but they did it with a veteran-laden group whereas this team is doing it with many new faces and a second-year quarterback. That group was more or less destined for the Super Bowl. I’m not sure we’re there with this team yet… but it’s hard to argue with results.



Ass kicked. Sad. Hurts.


Rooting for each other

I thought I saw Blount in there. He wasn’t on the field. This tells you everything you need to know about Blount as a teammate.


G Cobb

I think I just saw him have sex.


Coots, G and Reader



Embiid loves sports


Four seed

Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

This isn’t just about the Eagles. The Sixers have arrived. They’re 5-4 and are mere possessions away from being 8-1, just like the Eagles. They, too, have a tough test coming up, with road games against the Jazz, Kings, Warriors, Clippers and Lakers, so we’ll find out more about exactly what sort of team we’re dealing with. But Ben Smmons had another triple-double and JJ Redick lit the building with his shooting in one of the more raucous affairs on Friday. Just like the Eagles, I think we can begin to call the Sixers “good” with confidence. The addition of Richaun Holmes gives them substantially more reliable depth in the middle. I have nothing else to add here, but we have two super fun teams both on the verge of taking the league by storm.

We’re back, baby.