The holiday weekend – Black Friday through Cyber Monday – has decimated our stock, the local post office and, potentially, my marriage. My wife has been fulfilling orders around the clock for four straight days now. Cruel and unusual? Maybe a little. But she’s getting two meals per day and adequate hydration.

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I wanted to provide a shipping update to those who’ve ordered and those who plan on ordering.

The First Joel

They are in-stock! They have also been shipping out since Monday, with at least two carloads going out today. That’s the good news. The bad news is that when our stock showed up on Saturday, part of a full 26-box shipment, the printer, for reasons unknown to sane humans, used the wrong size screen on shirts sizes large and up, which led to the following series of events:

  1. Me, open box and immediately notice that the print size looked like a hand stamp in the middle of a super-soft, warm sweatshirt
  2. Me, crumpling up a piece of paper and throwing it at the wall in disgust
  3. My wife, apoplectic
  4. Me, calling our provider and threatening to break the printer’s legs “I WANT NAMES AND I WANT THEM NOW!”
  5. Our provider, moments later, confirming to me that new blanks would be HAND-DELIVERED to the printer on Monday morning by a courier – which for a brief moment led me to feel like I was in the CIA hunting bin Laden, until I realized his courier was actually tracked down and followed to the compound and killed in a fiery raid – and shipped out Monday afternoon
  6. They showed up yesterday

So, if you had a preorder on The First Joel, which should include orders up to Thanksgiving, you either have gotten yours or will get it over the next few days. We still expect to hit the “week of November 27” delivery date for most of these preorders, with some folks in more remote areas that require 3-day shipping getting them early next week.

New orders will go out within a few days and be delivered by next weekend in time for holiday parties.


Sundays Are For The Birds

This is a hot one. Many of these have already gone out, with many more on the way. Depending on sizes, orders up to early last week have shipped, with the remainder of preorders going out over the next few days.

If you ordered over the holiday weekend, it depends on the size you ordered. With t-shirts, some sizes – mediums and larges – became backordered, with new stock arriving next week and shipping most likely late next week. Other sizes were in stock through most of the weekend and should ship over the next few days. Sweatshirts also depend on sizes. Smalls and extra larges became backordered early in the weekend and many of those will be going out next week. The stock situation was better on other sizes and those should ship within a few days.

New orders for all Birds shirts, with the exception of XXL t-shirts, will ship next week once new stock comes in.


Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt

Stock is better on these, with limited sizes remaining. Most orders prior to last weekend have gone out, with a few orders waiting on Joel or Birds shirts before shipping.



Most t-shirts and hoodies will be going out next week, as noted on the product pages.



When do new orders ship?

Most new orders on in-stock items will ship in about 3-5 days, with delays on specific shirts as outlined in this post.

Is Christmas in jeopardy?

No, not at all. Our rush every year is to get Ugly Christmas Sweatshirts out as early as possible so you share Christmas cheer all month long. Even our most in-demand item right now is expected in by late next week, so there are no worries about Christmas gifts at all. Some less popular shirts will no longer be available as of December 8 because we print them on demand, but those don’t include any of the shirts in this post.

How much is shipping?

We have FREE SHIPPING on all orders this week.

Do you have loading dock privileges? 

You’re goddamn right I do. I’m moving so much commerce through the local post office, that not only do they know me by name and as the guy who has been wearing the same thing three days in a row, but they also ask if I’m getting enough sleep and what I think of the Birds’ chances.

Is you wife going to leave you this Christmas?

Let’s ask her:

I think I’m good.

Why don’t you have someone else do this?

Margins, baby. It’s much more cost effective to handle our own fulfillment. My wife is in charge. And honestly, we can get them out quicker than most third-party fulfillment centers at this volume. But things get a little nuts around the holidays and I have to hand-deliver your Christmas cheer to the post office. They hate me there.

Do people love their shirts?

Of course they do!

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