Cole Hamels Donates One of His Mansions to Help Children With Special Needs


Imagine for a moment that you’re Cole Hamels. You’re a phenomenal baseball player. All of Philadelphia loves you for leading the way to the city’s lone championship of the last 34 years. Your wife is gorgeous and you may be even better looking. No matter what you do – the clean-shaven look that highlights your boyish smile, or the more recent rugged look – it doesn’t matter. You’re phenomenal either way. And you’ve earned more than $154 million over 12 Major League seasons.

Now, of course, you’re not Cole Hamels. You’re just some average person reading this article because you’re on the toilet, ignoring tasks at work, not studying for finals, ignoring your wife/girlfriend, etc. But what if you were? What do you do after dominating life to this extent? Where do you go from here? You donate one of your mansions to charity, obviously.

Camp Barnabas announced Friday that Major League Baseball pitcher Cole Hamels and his wife, Heidi, are donating their 32,000-square-foot home and more than 100 acres of land to the camp for children with special needs and chronic illnesses. ‘There are tons of amazing charities in southwest Missouri,’ Cole Hamels said in a news release. ‘Out of all of these, Barnabas really pulled on our heartstrings. Seeing the faces, hearing the laughter, reading the stories of the kids they serve; there is truly nothing like it. Barnabas makes dreams come true, and we felt called to help them in a big way.’

The home is valued at 9.75 million dollars. It features 10 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, six half-baths, and four living areas and sits on the edge of Branson’s Table Rock Lake.

Here’s a picture from the listing on

This story serves as further proof that Cole Hamels is the perfect human being.

The extent of my philanthropy occurs when I have two dollars in my back pocket and don’t have to awkwardly navigate the Wawa parking lot to avoid the Salvation Army guy. I guess sometimes I say ‘yes’ where I’m buying Q-tips or something at Walgreens and the cashier asks if I want to donate a dollar to whatever charity. So there’s that.

But, more importantly, this an incredible story. Hamels could’ve easily sold the property to some developer, tacked on $10 million to his loaded portfolio, and gone about his business. Instead, he elected to use his vast means to help countless children work their way through difficult circumstances. And there’s nothing much better than that.

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19 Responses

    1. Hmmm.
      I don’t think selling copyrighted tshirts illegally would qualify as special needs.
      But he is kind of scrawny and likes to boss people around, so he’s definitely defective.

  1. Why does Cole Hamels have a house this big in MO? I am so confused. From Cali, played in Philly and Texas, yet this house?

    1. Yo yo yo. It doesnt matter. None of it matters. Yo yo listen to me. Yo yo listen to what Im trying to tell you. It doesnt matter. Do you hear what Im saying?

  2. 32,000 square feet. Nice they are giving it away but in Bel Air a house that big would cost over $100 million. Who did he invite there on the holidays, the entire Texas Rangers roster.

      1. Hey fuck face. He paid at least 7 million for that spread.
        Sorry to inform an asshole like you, but a 10 million dollar ‘write off’ isn’t going to cover that
        7 million dollar cost. Not even close.
        So haul your miserable a$$ to the platt bridge and run back and forth across the lanes of traffic.

  3. I’ll bet Cole Hamels gets a better class of p*u*s*s*y than CBwanks.
    Plus he dresses better and doesn’t have to deal with that massive hair loss.

  4. Hey CBWanker,
    Can you just change you picture?
    A roadkill would be better and we wouldn’t have to stare at that mismatched shit
    your wearing!

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