This Isn’t Happening

I have so many thoughts. So many feelings. And yet, I can’t feel anything. I’m numb. At one point during the fourth quarter, as I paced around the family room staring at my phone in disbelief, my wife mentioned that she thought it was warm in the house. I wasn’t sure how to respond, because I couldn’t feel things. If anything, I felt a slight tingle in my left knee in oneness with Wentz.

The fact that Wentz went down mere moments before we learned that Joel Embiid was out tonight with a back injury – which I presume isn’t serious because my soul can’t sustain such a blow – was the biggest bag-over-the-head, punch-in-the-face I ever got, GOD DAMN IT!

This is what we get. This is what happens after four years of suffering through sports misery. We get the best team in football. We get a 10-2 team en route to winning the division with our potential MVP quarterback. And then, just like that, it’s gone. He’s done. If that’s not an ACL, then I’m a goat. Like an actual, bahhhing, fucking, shitting goat. The hallmark of ACL injuries is being able to walk but not be able to go lateral at all. This video sucks:

This only happens to us. Wentz, who appears indestructible, of course gets a freak knee injury diving forward into the end zone. When was the last time a player tore his ACL diving forward? Only us.

So now what?

The Eagles will likely wind up with a bye. They have two games on every other contending team except the Vikings, with tiebreakers against the Panthers and Rams. If, by the grace of God, Wentz has some sort of horrific partial tear or strain and can return without undergoing surgery, he’ll have five weeks to rest. He can have a very serious injury and not miss any meaningful games. That is a small possibility.

Every other scenario sucks.

Nick Foles will likely be the Eagles’ quarterback going forward. He’s a very good backup. Compared to Derek Carr going out last year and the Raiders turning to Connor Cook, the Eagles are in a much better situation. They are a well-rounded team with a good defense, and will have at least one home playoff game. Maybe two. Foles is certainly capable of winning them.

But this is certainly devastating. Wentz was on track to be the MVP. To make matters worse, he was dominating this game. Yeah, he missed some throws, but he was the man out there, on the big stage, taking it to one of the best teams in the conference. He was proving that he belonged, that we – the Eagles, fans, whatever – could start thinking Super Bowl. And then this.

The next few days will undoubtedly be filled with rumors. Kaepernick. Romo. Whatever. I don’t think the Eagles look outside the organization, but I suppose it’s possible. Kaep is the clubhouse leader on Twitter, but Romo is the guy who teased a possible comeback on national TV, and oh by the way he’s been watching game film all year. I asked Siri how old he was today. That was something that happened. He’s 37. He’s not that old and, it seems, keeps himself in playing shape. He’s always wanted a shot at a winning a Super Bowl. This would be one of those. I’m talking myself into Tony Romo. That’s where we are. Today started with the excitement of the Eagles winning the division and closing in on a bye. It’s going to end with me living in a fantasy world where Tony Romo comes in and saves the day. This blows. This sucks so much. I can’t feel anything. I’m devoid of emotion. I’m empty. A vast nothingness fills my fandom. This is a feeling we know all too well. Didn’t think it’d come back so soon.


16 Responses

  1. I hear it was a clean tear. Speaking of clean, you should see how fresh and bright my turd-cutter looks!

  2. Wentz injury basically guarantees Brady or Pittsburgh winning another Super Bowl. Yup, life isn’t fair.

  3. Why the hell would he Eagles sign Kap Romo!? Is that a joke? They are 100% staying with Foles. You say some stupid shit sometimes.

    1. Yeah Romo and Kaepernick(!) is some Hire Gruden shit.

      Foles was a playoff caliber quarterback here. He got thrown in the shit with bad teammates and coaches (including Big Balls Chip and old Agholor). He didn’t make many people better but he doesn’t really need to this year. Is he going to outgun Brady in the Super Bowl? No, but the Eagles can set him up to have a better chance than someone’s who been doing situps and who hasn’t thrown a live pass in a calendar year.

      1. You’re lost. Foles can’t be counted on. last time he played for an extended period of time, he wound up out of football. Get reinforcements now..

  4. “and oh by the way he’s been watching game film all year”

    Can’t stop laughing at this. Romo hasn’t played a game in how long? But fear not, he’s been analyzing NFL games each week on CBS!

    1. Of course you would take Romo in a heartbeat over Foles. With Romo, you’re still the NFC favorite.

      1. When the quarterback is injured you go with the backup, you don’t sign Captain Planet to come save you. Yes, you might lose, but at least you have a chance. Romo is a golfer now.

  5. Eagles don’t need to sign Romo or especially Kaep, who flamed out of SF because he couldn’t execute basic stuff in the playbook. He’s just not a smart or accurate player and he won’t be playing in the league again because he didn’t want have the skill, not because of the anthem stuff. Romo would be the only one I look at but he was a turnover machine in big games. He acts like he won a Super Bowl but never came close to winning anything.

    They can easily beat NYG and Oakland with Foles and probably Dallas too after they’ve been eliminated and show huge quit in week 17. They get a bye week and Wentz figures out some way to get back out there for the playoffs. Stop this snowflake journalism nonsense.

  6. 10.0…. Douche Confirmation…. as predicted in my post last night (“Anticipatory Chills””)… Kyle at his douchiest best…. “I’m numb”…. “I can’t feel anything”…. “My wife mentioned it was warm in the house and I didn’t know how to respond”…. cue the dramatic background music as we watch the pasty sewer rat walk around his house, dodging boxes of unsold, crappy t-shirts…. looking forward to a day of p rumors and absolutely asinine free agent talk…. Romo, Kaepernick, Eli…. Maybe even Peyton…. think of the shitty t-shirt possibilities!

  7. We truly live in a Bizzaro Alt Universe when all I’m hearing this morning is “YES ABSOLUTELY CALL ROMO”
    Foles highlight year in 2013 he had the world class receiving duo Riley Cooper & Desaun Jaccson
    Foles to Agholor was the game winner

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