This Story About Fletcher Cox Texting a Woman and Telling Her He Wanted to Get Her Pregnant Is My Spirit Animal

I’m sorry I’m a week late on getting to this Fletcher Cox story. My mouth has been agape during that time as I’ve taken on the process of internalizing news that a guy named Cox is being sued for snapping his Johnson and expressing his desire to make beautiful babies with another man’s wife. It’s too perfect. Really, this would be like if Halapoulivaati Vaitai won a spelling bee when he was little or if Cooper Kupp was a stage in Mario Kart. Cox being sued over his wang is my white whale.

From ESPN.com:

The Charlotte Observer reports that Joshua Jeffords, of Huntersville, filed a lawsuit against Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Fletcher Cox in Mecklenburg County Civil Court on Nov. 22. Cox, 26, is being sued for alienation of affection. He has yet to respond to the lawsuit.

Jeffords said in the filing that he learned in September of text and Snapchat messages between his wife and Cox, including explicit photos and discussions of having children together. He says his wife met Cox during a work trip to Pennsylvania in April and she moved there in October.

Jeffords says he sought mental health treatment for “substantial emotional distress.” He is seeking at least $50,000 in damages.

And details of those messages from the Charlotte-Observer:

Jeffords’ wife sent messages to Cox calling him “boo” and saying she was “loving everything you have to say” and “I really like you …,” “We’d make some damn beautiful babies” and “I want to get to know you babe. I know we are compatible sexually …” according to the lawsuit.

I can go any number of ways here, but I’d like to first point out that “we are compatible sexually,” if delivered with iambic pentameter in mind, is so incredibly close to Next’s 90s hit that I feel like I just hopped into the middle of a high school dance and forgot to leave room for the Holy Spirit:

Makes me want you so bad sexually!

But the fact that Cox goes straight for the babymaker is so badass. These are the things 10-1 teams do. Do you think any 2-9 Giants are texting anyone about fathering a child? Hell no! At this point Giants are sending e-greetings requesting a kind handjob.

The texts themselves from Cox are even better:

God damn. The I bartend tomorrow nightI want to get you pregnant sequence may be the best escalation in sexting since Cliff Lee’s agent, Darek Braunecker, texted assistant Phillies GM Scott Proefrock “Is this eating at you as much as it’s eating at me?” in December, 2010. The only thing better is Cox’s “trust me” responses, like he was pulling from some sort of player’s guide to sexting autocomplete. Trust me. I love you. I like your eyes. Eventually one of them is bound to stick.

Now, as far as the husband in question is concerned.

I’m not a big fan of the word “cuck,” but suing the guy who stole your wife through text by offering to create her offspring is pretty much the definition of the word. The fact that the available photos of the guy come from something called a “Flipagram” seals the deal:

Guy: I made you a Flipagram and posted it so everyone can see how special you are to me!

Cox: Yo, I want to impregnate you.

Advantage Cox.

How’s Fletcher handling all of this?

https://twitter.com/NOflyzonePHILLY/status/934406037519720449

You dog!

I’d just pay the requested amount in cash with a note that reads: “for the kid.”

I guess the only thing left to do is a buy a shirt:

You’re next, Ian. He’s actually writing his number.

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33 Responses

    1. I have a better story about a shitty little blog, a house in perkesee with a yard thats way to small and
      a shitty little wanna be a big boy A4 car and selling dumpy shirts that clearly infringe upon the copy rights
      of team(that’s called stealing) and inflating web clicks to sucker advertisers to your site.
      Maybe we can get matt lauer or charlie rose to look into it. oh wait, they are probably going to prison also.

    2. Kyle, did you know that publishing these private texts is illegal without their consent?

  1. I wish he would rescue me from the turd-burger Gonzo. So tired of his little snail-dick. (sad face)

    1. well i’m tired of that 5 pounds of shit (that you call “make up”) that you put on with a paint roller.
      Now i know what its like to lick spackle.

  2. The fact that a sawed off runt like Kyle Scott is commenting on someone else and ‘babymaking’
    is simply the most disgusting thing. Definitely the weasel of the week!
    It definitely has that typical “I’m kyle, i’m one cool muther fucker and you can look to me for
    approval about what is cool an dap because i at the top off the food chain” wigger smell to it
    ……..
    Throw is a trailer, some pork rinds, a wife beater shirt and a recliner and you might have some
    fucked up netflix show starring kevin spacey, h weinstein and matty lauer.

  3. Alienation of affection? lol. That tort has been abolished in all but a handful of states. Even the states that still have it on the books were probably just too lazy to legislate it away. For instance in PA, Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. Yea that’s still technically on the books. Just think of the precedent it would set if a snap chat dick pic could lead to lawsuits. He’s not winning in court. Cox could settle to end it but he probably thinks it’s too damn funny.

  4. Good for her ex husband not having to deal with this whore anymore. Cox isn’t a Casanova, he’s got a bank account.

    Get some money, be thankful she’s gone, be thankful you have an easy out, and enjoy life my dude.

  5. First of all, the dude who got “cucked” is a marine. Pretty screwed up if you ask me…and if he can get a couple bucks on the way out the door, good for him.

    Second of all, if Fletcher Cox wore a helmet with a star on it all you little twats would be talking about how effed up this is…and Kyle would be leading the charge.

    1. Wait until your find out that you’ve been cucked by your “angel” and you didn’t even know it.

    2. 2 grown ass people can do whatever they want, cucked jarhead is willing to forego all dignity to get a couple thousand bucks out of Fletch. If my wife left me for a football player, i would blame her, and myself, in that order, full stop. Fletch smashing a hot bartender is pretty far fucking removed from any of the wife-beaters I mean cowgirl’s antics.

      1. You are such a clown.

        I don’t like the Cowboys…at all. My point is that messing around with somebody’s wife is a dirtbag move and if Cox wasn’t an Eagle you wouldn’t be all “Bro man, if my wife did that, its on her!!!1!11.” You even called him Fletch as if the two of you hang out….you fucking loser. I have some news for you Bro-dude, “Fletch” doesn’t give one fuck about you. Please don’t cry.

        1. I’m sensing some PTSD. I’m sorry your wife left you for a black guy. Please don’t cry.

        2. Did she tell Cox she was married? Most of the time in these cases the cheating piece of shit spouse never mentions being married.

  6. What’s the deal with AA’s always trying to get somebody pregnant and cutting in lines?

    1. They’re just not smart enough or don’t care enough to put the jimmy hat on

  7. Cox learned this behavior from his head coach . They might be the funniest texts ever & can only imagine how bad he’s getting his balls busted in the locker room . Dead ass serious

  8. Kyle you need to rethink your take on this. This is a man who serves the country. He is a marine. and you side with jody and the whore wife? You are better than this kyle

  9. Fletcher is weak on this one. The fact that he is an Eagle has nothing to do with it. The guy who said if there was a star on his helmet you would be making fun of him is 100% correct. You are strange Kyle, talent writer who way too often goes to “wood” or “penis” jokes and thinks he’s funny. You try to hard some times.

  10. Women that call you “babe” that early in the whole deal are usually clingy and annoying

  11. Stealing the wife of a Marine is a dick move. You’re Fletcher Fucking Cox, you can’t swing your dick without hitting 5 women in the face, don’t pick the married girl.

    1. C’mon man. Fletch is just gettin’ his. Plus, he’s an Eagle and can do whatever the hell he wants and he’ll still be my guy…bro! But if he ever leaves here and plays for, say, the Lions, then, yes, this is completely fucked up and Fletch should be sued for all the money!!!!!

      I’m such a twat.

      1. Afraid to post under your own name Twat Finder? Subtlety is not your strong suit.

        1. It wasn’t supposed to be subtle you mook.

          Why are you getting all bent out of shape because your boy Fletch is a fucking scumbag? You have his t-shersey, don’t you? He’s still going to go out and help the Eagles win, it’s ok. You can root for a team with a dirtbag on it. We all do it….most of us don’t have little pet names for the players like “Fletch” but Philly has had plenty of teams with shitbags on them.

          1. Really guy, you’re pissed because he’s using a nickname for a player? I am pretty sure there’s about 50 million worse nicknames out there than Fletch = Fletcher, would you get pissed if he referred to Roy Halladay as “Doc” too? Or Carlos Ruiz as Chooch? or Robert Covington as Roco?

            Based on my totally scientific professional opinion you have been cheated on and somehow think it was the other guy’s fault that your woman’s a ho. A relationship only matters to the people in it. I don’t recall signing anything saying I’d hold off trying to bang Kate Middleton when she married that english guy.

  12. I believe they mentioned on the Preston & Steve show this morning that she is a former calendar girl.

  13. Hello, Today in the new irectory of blogs. I dont learn how
    your blog came up, need to have been a typo. Your site
    looks good, possess a nice day.

  14. I posted this story a WEEK AGO and you Removed it. Sent it to Eaglaes reporters 8 days ago and they were too scared of the Eagles to run with it.
    PUSSIES ALL !

  15. I haven’t been to this shitty website in over a year. Figured I’d see if there was any improvement. Nope. Still sucks. At least the commenters were good which was the only thing I ever had any interest in. Keep in min if you say the wrong thing on this site, Kyle will publicly post your IP address. He’s done that shit in the past to people.
    Anyway, from pics I’ve seen online of this white bitch, she’s pretty fucking hot. Just about any of us would bang her. I’m sure she didn’t get into any details about her husband when she saw Cox. She only had one thing in mind, $$$. And as for Cox, he only had one thing in mind. Too bad this didn’t play all the way out because he probably would have gotten her pregnant then just dumped her anyway.

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