Much like a 56-year-old man popping a Cialis before heading out for a night on the town “just in case,” police in the City of Philadelphia are prophylactically greasing light poles all over town:

Quite obviously, no one is going to be mounting or straddling any poles in Philadelphia should the Eagles somehow not win tonight. Still, it’s better to have the pole greased and not need it than it is to need the pole greased and not have it.

Besides, like the Cialis, after a while the Crisco will wear off anyway.