John Middleton Personally Escorted Jake Arrieta to Florida

The Phillies don’t have a team plane. They fly Delta charters. But, as you can see, they do own a small, P-branded jet, presumably used to shuffle John Middleton from private island to the Super Bowl and onward to Clearwater. We first wrote about this Bombardier, delivered in 2005 and registered under SOP Equipment in West Trenton, in 2013 when it was spotted in Augusta, Georgia.

Me thinks the gaggle of random owners and execs in charge before Middleton wrangled away the club from the throes of common-ness and anonymity had no interest in drawing attention to themselves in the cloak of night with the team’s logo emblazoned on the tail. But that’s not Middleton’s style. Like the Bat Signal traveling through the sky, the P, in this case, carried with it the team’s new three-year, $75 million man, Jakub P. Arrieta (no idea if that’s his actual name), personally escorted by Middleton.

The Owner was sporting his trademarked BILLIONAIRE hair and a plunging Florida neckline that conveyed confidence and a late-night stogie under the light of the moon. I will never be as rich as John Middleton. Not even close. But I want to reach the point where, someday, I can escort $75 million worth of something to a Florida runway while looking like I’m just going to a dinner party for a mildly commendable achievement, like a high school graduation or retirement party.

It’s no wonder Middleton was thanked first today in the Phillies’ press conference to introduce Arrieta (more on that later), which quickly delved into the weird as Scott Boras talked about fishing boats and Arrieta worked himself into a Kelce and declared that the Phillies are going to “fight.” My guess is Middleton undid yet another button at that line.

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3 Responses

  1. Oh yea, well I’d like to personally “escort” arrieta to my pants….if you know what I mean

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