The Worst of Philadelphia: Down to 12

Sixteen entered, but only one can win.

It’s the Hunger Games!

Actually, no, it’s the “Worst of Philadelphia,” the most aggravating crap we deal with in the City of Brotherly Love.

We started the competition with four matchups on… the left side of the bracket, I guess. I was too lazy to name the different regions, so we’ll just go with “left” and “right.”

First up, it was a contest between the #1 overall seed, the utterly revolting PPA, and the cluster$#@! known as “95 Revive,” the construction project that just never ends:

It was close for awhile, but the PPA leeches sucked the life (and hard-earned money) out of I-95 construction to advance to the second round.

The 2/3 matchup in that regional also finished in a 62% to 38% split, with our Comcast overlords defeating “trash everywhere” for a comfortable win:

I switched to FIOS three years ago.

The other #1 seed on that side of the bracket, the totally unfair city wage tax, had no problem dispatching the panhandler problem:

Let’s get those people off the street and under a roof.

The last left-sided matchup was a FRIGGIN’ NAIL BITER between Philly Mag race-baiting (spear-headed by you know who) and cash-only restaurants with a $3 ATM surcharge:

In the end, the race-baiters triumphed over the shady tax-dodging restaurants by a 51% to 49% margin.

Here’s how the bracket looks after the first round of voting:

I don’t know about you, but I’m really looking forward to the next few matchups. There are some powerhouses on the other side of the bracket, like the Sure-Kill Expressway and the trendy Cinderella pick, sports radio callers.

Time’s yours.

 

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9 Comments

  • Jeff from Camden March 28, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    Wow these teams are amazing . So true with every one of them . Seriously bitch about all of them

    Reply
  • The crazy looking fat lady behind the sixers bench March 28, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    This bracket should have eagles chants at sixers flyers and phils games

    Reply
  • Hey, that’s my mom, asshole! March 28, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    Cmon.

    Reply
  • Scabby The Rat March 28, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Unions built this city. How is scabby the rat a nuisance to anyone but the unqualified workers on these un safe job sites??

    Reply
  • Capt Clueless March 29, 2018 at 12:44 am

    That shouldn’t have been radio callers… but sports radio in general. Our sports stations are a DISGRACE! Top it off with the fact that they do not talk about Hockey….. and they sound like a bunch of paid fans….. sheesh… they are THE WORST!!!

    Reply
  • The Realist March 29, 2018 at 8:04 am

    Union Rat? Give me a break… you guys like working 40 hour weeks and time and a half after that 40 don’t you?

    Reply
    • Kevin Kinkead March 29, 2018 at 11:08 am

      what I don’t like are lazy, one-skill scabs who are grandfathered into bloated contracts and choke off more motivated and more talented younger workers

      how bout that?

      Reply
  • Golden Slipper March 30, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    How are the Mummers not on this list. They are the worst!

    Reply
  • kissmanga June 30, 2018 at 4:20 am

    It was close for awhile, but the PPA leeches sucked the life (and hard-earned money) out of I-95 construction to advance to the second round.

    Reply
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