Whatever it Takes, Dude (I have no Firearm)

The Linden Police Department released two pieces of body-cam footage today from the arrest of Lenny Dykstra on May 23 after an Uber driver pulled into the Linden Police headquarters and told officers Dykstra had threatened him with a gun.

According to a story from NBC Sports Philadelphia, the Uber driver pulled into the Linden police headquarters at 3:30 a.m. on May 23, alerting officers by honking his horn several times and fleeing the vehicle that contained Dykstra. The driver claimed Dykstra pulled a gun on him and threatened to shoot him after he changed his destination.

Dykstra told officers that the driver “kidnapped him” and wouldn’t let him out of his car.

Officers questioned Dykstra and released the footage of his arrest. It’s….it’s definitely something. What a fucking mess. Still, I would have rather seen him at the 1993 Phillies celebration this past weekend instead of Curt Schilling.

Dykstra was charged with making a terroristic threat and being in possession of drugs. Officers reported he was found with cocaine, ecstasy, and marijuana.

The arrest video, which was published by NJ.com, plays out like a bad Abbot and Costello routine. Here are the highlights (lowlights?):

(1:38) After giving the officer permission to search his bag for firearms.

Officer: You don’t mind if we look in there for a firearms?

Dykstra: No, I do mind, there are no firearms…..you can look at whatever you want! Look at what you want.

(2:22) No I don’t own a firearm, I’m a convicted felon. And please don’t go through my stuff.

Officer: Do you own a firearm?

Dykstra: Dude, I’m a convicted felon, I can’t own a firearm (tries to push forward through cops). Hey, I don’t like this guy going through my stuff.

Officer: You just said I could look through there for a firearm.

Dykstra: No, but I want to show you the bag.

Officer: You showed me the bag already, you pointed it out.

Dykstra: Yeah but, I don’t have no firearm, sure. This guy is fucking crazy, dude.

(4:58) It’s not my fault, I was kidnapped!

Dykstra: I can’t go anywhere, I’m not going anywhere, I’m stopping there. I say, okay then, let me out! He locks the car doors, he kidnapped me, he kidnapped me, dude!

(5:25) Wait…what did I do, guys?!

Officer turns Dykstra around and starts to handcuff him.

Dykstra: Dude, what are you doing? Take it easy man. Why are you grabbing me so hard? Wait, wait, what are you doing?

Officer: You’re being placed under arrest.

Dykstra: For what?!

Oh, Lenny.

Here’s the driver’s account of what happened as well:

Dykstra has a court date set for July 18.

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23 Responses

  1. Why this Shilling hate you liberal pussy? Just cause you have different views doesn’t mean you need to be a hater. But that’s what your side does.

    1. so true… I loved Lenny when he was with the Phils, but since then, he’s become a drug addict who stole money from everyone he ever met and is just a train wreck, but yeah, let’s lament that he couldn’t make it to CBP last weekend…..please

      1. This creep goblin toboggan prefers criminal scumbags like Lenny over good citizens like Curt just because he has different political beliefs.
        Amazing!

    2. Conservative D-Bags:
      Fire those sons of bitches who PEACEFULLY PROTEST our racist criminal justice system and police brutality – do they think this country is a democracy?!!! They have no right to make a living! Keep Colin Kaepernick, Malcolm Jenkins and Chris Long out of the league!!! They have to live with the consequences for their peaceful actions – even if they are anti-violence and anti-hate!

      Conservatives D-Bags:
      Waaaaaaaah! Curt Schilling didn’t get in the Hall right away!!! It’s because of his politics!!! Waaaaaah! It has NOTHING to with the FACT that he has ALWAYS been an ASSHOLE regardless of politics! He has a RIGHT to support HANGING JOURNALISTS and to be an asshole without consequence! Freeeeeeee Speeeeech!

      Conservative D Bags:
      The Flag = The Military. The Military has a MONOPOLY on the Flag!!! It belongs to, and represents, NO ONE else!!! Anyone who disrespects the military should leave the country!!!!

      Conservative D Bags:
      So what if King Little Dick dodged the draft 5 times with fake heel spurs?!!! He’s a true patriot and loves us!!! Not only should he stay in the country after kicking the military in the balls 5x, he should be president!!!

      1. You sir are a LOSER.
        Keep watching CNN, you snowflake…..while Donnie keeps racking up the W’s

        1. You seem to be the kind of upstanding Fox News watching Christian who collects tons of Nazi Memoribilia like Curt Schilling.

          Anyway, if you remember…When Reagan left office, all Americans knew him to be an extremely low level thinker. Like, George Bush 2, “C” student level dumbass. His popularity was not high during his presidency except among the 2% most wealthy because Reaganomics screwed the 98%. But, of course revisionist history and the present day has been kind to D-list actors and mentally ill reality show hosts.

          1. And I wasn’t even there for my 2nd term. Jim Baker and Nancy ran the show while I was falling asleep in meetings and peeing my Depends.

      2. As for protesting the flag. If you did something that cost your org to lose millions theyd fire you too. Ton of ball players out there on the shelf waiting for the call. Thats the part most liberals cant understand.

  2. on how to be drunk, stupid and ignorant, yet still manage to get arrested without being tased, or shot

  3. Loved th Cuz talking about the accidental dick pic that girl sent out…. you know the Cuz was laughing cause he has such a huge hog himself.

  4. uber drivers are a-holes. plenty of cases in Philly and surrounding area of them kicking customers out of their cars and telling the cops they feared for their lives. Screw them.

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