Angry Doug Pederson Is The Best Doug Pederson

Folksy Doug Pederson has left the building and he’s taken his homespun yarns with him. Angry Doug Pederson is here this year and he’s leaving a ravaged media corps(e) in his wake.

The media hates it. They hate Angry Doug, they hate his testiness and his unwillingness to answer question after question about the quarterback situation and when Carson Wentz will be cleared for contact or when he might start or exactly how big Nick Foles’s penis is (ANSWER THE QUESTION, DOUG) or what they should say to that girl they like to get her to notice them.

And Doug is having none of it. Gone are niceties. Forget bowls of ice cream this season, Doug Pederson is treating the media to big old bowls of SHUT THE HELL UP and making sure they down every last drop before they’re allowed to leave the big boy table.

Most fans absolutely love it to the utter BEWILDERMENT of the local media.

Doug has earned the love, and if he wants to be cranky, he gets to be cranky.

I get the media’s frustration, though. I really do! Reporters like Les Bowen and Jeff McLane, two of the more outspoken members of media who have criticized Doug for how he handled the (accurate) Ian Rapaport report that came out over the weekend, have a job, and it’s hard to do if Doug is being pissy. Pederson lumped them in with a national media member who broke the Nick Foles story and, in Doug’s mind, deprived the Eagles of a tactical advantage over the Falcons. He threw Les, Jeff, and the entire local media under the figurative bus and backed it up over their corpses numerous times before fleeing to the golden shores of Tijuana and freedom. Sweet freedom.

Is it unfair? Yes. They had nothing to do with the news leak and they probably shouldn’t have received the tongue lashing Pederson doled out over the weekend.

Do the fans care if he’s being unfair? OH MY HEAVENS, NO.

You’re not going to turn this fan base around with logic or pleas for decency in the workplace, guys. No. Pederson is annoyed, hence the fans are annoyed. They have his back, and no complaints on Twitter about being treated “unfairly” or “rudely” or “being bullied” are going to change their minds.

Kevin Kinkead did some sleuthing the other day and estimated Pederson has likely been asked about Wentz and Foles more than 100 times during press conferences dating back to training camp. Fuck that. My boss asks me the same question more than once in the span of a work week and I’m ready to choke slam him through the coffee table in the break room (but instead I answer him like a good employee because I’m a huge pussy).

Being asked the same thing in slightly different ways over and over again for the last two months is annoying. He’s had it.

Pederson brought this city its first Super Bowl. Les? Jeff? Love you guys, great work, but last time I checked you didn’t call for a flea-flicker in the NFC Championship to drive a stake through the heart of the Minnesota Vikings, so you’re going to lose this one.

That’s what the bewildered media just doesn’t get. Pederson can do anything in this city now. He could burn down the basilica in the name of Satanism and it wouldn’t matter.

“Did you hear about Doug and the church?! Yeah man, burned it right to the ground. Nobody knows why, he screamed something about serving the Dark Lord and currying the favor of Lucifer? Yeah it’s awful…but, on the other hand…remember the Philly Special? Balls.”

You’re fighting a losing battle, guys. You’re invading Soviet Russia in the winter and supplies are running low. Doug has the hearts and minds of the fan base and you’ll be lucky to make it out of here alive if you keep criticizing his attitude.

My advice to you? Sit back, start drinking heavily, and let Doug be angry. He’s earned it.

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on email
Email

5 Comments

  • Brady reiterates 5 more years on his Tom vs Time video September 5, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    He won’t last that long. I just want to him play one more season after this. He comes to the Linc next year for a home game. Fully healthy Carson vs Tom. It will be a Sunday Night game. September would be perfect when both QB’s are fresh.

    Reply
    • Steek Still September 5, 2018 at 1:21 pm

      Yeah it will be perfect. a young under 25 QB against and old man.
      yeah thanks for the update bunky.

      Reply
  • jed September 5, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    Maybe our local sports media should experience Bill Belicheck for a few seasons and return to Philly to find Pederson is a chatterbox in comparison.

    Reply
  • Kyle September 5, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    This is gold. Keep on Coggin.

    Reply
  • Gary Heidnik September 5, 2018 at 1:23 pm

    I could care less if the philly media gets their gutts stomped into the ground.
    A lot of them deserve it.

    Reply
  • Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *