Let’s All Complain About the Union’s New Mascot

Photo Credit: Philadelphia Union

Meet the Philadelphia Union’s very first mascot.

It’s a blue snake with a gold mohawk named “Phang.”

They hatched Phang out of an egg at the Philadelphia Zoo this afternoon:

“It’s a snake! Doop doop doop.” 

Anyway, some Union purists are fundamentally opposed to having a mascot because I guess it’s a sidebar topic that detracts from the true goal of spending money and winning playoff games.

I personally don’t see what the big deal is. Families take their kids to the ball game and you get a picture with the mascot and have fun and do family things. Think about going to a Phillies game without the Phanatic. He/she/it is a local hero. Who doesn’t love the Phanatic?

That’s not to say “Phang” will achieve Phanatic levels of greatness, but this certainly doesn’t hurt the franchise. And you’ve got someone in the suit who has to play this character, so maybe they even created a part time job here, unless they’re just passing the duty to some poor intern.

My only real gripe is that snakes don’t have legs. This thing looks more like a dinosaur or a salamander if we’re being honest. But it would be hard for a bipedal humanoid with arms to wear a snake costume that did not have any limbs at all.

I would agree with Paul here:

Here’s Phang with his new friends:

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5 Comments

  • ron burgundy September 10, 2018 at 8:52 pm

    Great story. Compelling, and rich.

    Reply
  • 502 bad gateway September 10, 2018 at 8:54 pm

    reminds me of the gobbledy gooker at the survivor series

    Reply
  • Coach Chester Lee September 10, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    It’s not nearly as offensive as half of your games ending in ties.

    Reply
  • MIke September 11, 2018 at 8:09 am

    Well the Phillie Phanatic is a bird…..and birds dont have arms. Besides, how else is the person in the snake suit supposed to walk around the stadium? #doop

    Reply
  • Jon September 15, 2018 at 12:50 am

    Not enough mention of the Wu Phang Clan

    Reply
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