The Phillies Have Broken All of Us


You know when you smush an insect and it dies, but its limbs still twitch? That’s pretty much what the Phillies’ five-run fifth inning during the second game of tonight’s doubleheader was like.

“I’m pretty sure it’s dead. Oh, shit. It moved. Maybe it’s not dead? Nope. Definitely dead.”


Where do we begin? Discussing the hows and whys of two more losses is utterly pointless, so let’s focus on the big picture. The Phillies are now 2-8 in September, 6-16 over their past 22 games, and 0-10-1 over their past 11 series. In the process, they have managed to completely obliterate any lingering positive feelings regarding their “progress” this season. Personally, give me the 66-win 2017 Phillies all day. That team had some spark over the final two months a season ago. There was good reason to feel encouraged about the team’s overall direction. This current group? It isn’t fun to watch, it isn’t fundamentally sound, and it is at least reasonable to wonder about where this mess is heading.

Since August 11, the Phillies have transformed a one-game division lead into what currently stands as a six-game deficit. In recent weeks, the starting pitching and bullpen have taken poorly-timed turns collapsing. We should at least credit the Phillies’ offense for its consistency–it has been what I will generously term as “ass” from the jump. Some have been out on this season for weeks. Some have held out hope that a team which was somehow 15 games over .500 as late as August 7 would regain its footing and win a wide-open NL East, but that changed tonight. The Phillies have officially broken us all.

They are not wrong. But forget what I think. Forget what anybody else thinks because that’s not what matters. What matters is what John Middleton thinks as he watches his team implode and hears the remaining few who are still paying attention unanimously declare it dead.

Should be an interesting offseason.


23 Responses

  1. I feel sick to my stomach right now. This collapse has just been unreal. This team is a total and complete joke. Full of shit-brained losers who can’t play simple winning baseball. I hope they finish this season with a losing record because they totally deserve it. Klentak and Kapler need to be fired at the season’s end. It’s over. Middleton needs to go as well.

    For fuck’s sake they can even sell the franchise so we don’t have a baseball team anymore. 7 years of utter horseshit is just too much. Kapler is the Chip Kelly of baseball and Klentak is a blubbering idiot. So damn fucking pissed bout this team right now that I can’t even enjoy the Eagles’ start to the season.

    1. It’s really is terrible baseball. Kapler changes lineups everyday, relief pitchers pitch to one batter, starters last 4 innings. The games are 4 hours long because of all the changes and the team has no kick ass mentality!! I’m 64 and cannot watch this Hillsborough analytic baseball!!

    1. this site is broken. What a laugh. how on earth does this site make money with the dearth of anyone with the slightest ability to write anything coherent, let alone interesting. Not a single one of these fan boys does anything other than recycle tweets. Two of these losers are too humiliated to even use their real names: Coggin and WanksaLot

      T Shirts everyone! Get your T shirts here!!! ugly Christmas T shirts, right around the corner!

  2. I believe !!!


  3. Yo yo yo what up y’all?!?!?
    Big ups to my boy Drake on droppin that new album!
    Heading over to Pitchers Pub! Shout out to all the females down there!
    Tryna get my dick wet today!

  4. Gabe the genius strikes again!

    Pulls Bour out of the game when he had accounted for the only 2 baserunners the Phillies had had! Gabe’s reasoning? The next time Bour came up, the Nats might have had a different pitcher.

    Gabe uses 4 pitchers in the 5th inning of game 1 of a doubleheader. Then has Dominguez come back out for the 9th of game 2. And then old Gabe sits there like a log while Seranthony can’t locate a fastball through out the 9th inning. Gabe doesn’t remove him until he walks 3 guys, and gives up 3 hits and 2 runs!

    Scott Kingery is supposed to be the 2nd baseman of the future. Since May, Scott has pitched more innings than he has played at 2nd. Gabe continues to play Cesar Hernandez, the master of the 10-pitch strikeout, at 2nd. Since May, Cesar is batting .241 with 15 extra base hits!

    1. In the beginning of the season, I thought most grossly overrated with booing Gabe after only 6 games. They went on to overachieve for 3 1/2 months. Then, I thought they simply ran out of gas but it is a clear collapse and that can largely be blamed on Gabe. With his continued bungles, I think it is painstakingly obvious that guy is in over his head.

  5. You are dead on. Fuck Hernandez he has never had a meaningful hit. Put Kingery at second
    And eat some of the contract of Santana and move Hoskins back to first.

    1. I am starting to gravitate back to the Cuz’s show as opposed to Pop Pop. Just can’t handle the cheesy attempts at humor during Pop Pop’s show. Yesterday Pop Pop made a joke about 3.5″. Today, they were talking about being in the game for the final 2 minutes of play. Pop Pop then solicited Keith Jones and asked him, “Were you a 2-minute guy?” Of course, Keith Jones predictably replied, “My wife calls me a 2-minute guy.” Of course, they all giggled and Rhea said, “Ohhhh Gawwd!” Not only are their attempts at humor pathetic but you can see them coming from a mile away. Pop Pop needs to retire so the show can just disband.

      1. you didn’t like the Glen Macnow show today? song and dance man who also owns a brewery? Radio gold, Jerry

  6. I dont think I’ve hated a team more than this one. Not as a collection but individually. I absolutely cannot stand Alfaro. He is worthless. I’ve never seen a catcher incapable of blocking a wild pitch or just flat out missing a pitch? Hernandez goes on these stretches where he doesnt look like hes even trying to hit. Knapp might be the worst baseball player I’ve ever seen. And Odubbel is proving to be worthless as well. No team can win consistently if batters 6-9 are incapable of hitting. You cannot rely on Hoskins, Franco, and even Santana, who had a good OBP, to get all the runs for you. Kingery was a mistake, but i think can be a good player. But unless they get Harper and/or Machado, this team will go nowhere.

  7. Let’s use the correct term, windows break, hearts shatter, and this team has shattered all our hearts about liking a team that was as resilient as they were earlier in the year. The big question now is can they stabilize this mess by game 162? I have the Phillies only winning 6 more games and finishing 80 – 82 to complete the collapse. Now, I don’t know if they can even reach 80 wins. What a mess. Would love to be a fly on the wall in meetings Middleton is in these days. He can’t be happy. Don’t blame Kapler but, the million dollar question; if Orioles walk away from Buck Showalter at the end of this season if you are the Phillies are you a bit tempted to visit the idea of hiring Buck? I know he is 62 but Charlie managed until late in his 60s so you would think it would be tempting. Times yours?

      1. Just thinking out loud that maybe a young team like this needs an older manager. It worked for the 2008 Phillies especially after a lot of people had doubts when Charlie was hired. At this point, you have to analyze what the heck happened this year? Is it too much focus on analytics? If yes, then Kapler is part of the problem. Don’t know what it is but I challenge anyone to argue against the case that this team looks like they have quit.

  8. Let’s call a spade a spade . It’s tough for Philly fans to relate to a team that is 80% wet b@cks that suck

  9. I said over a month ago that this team cannot win as currently constituted. They lack major talent almost across the board and their manager is in a bit over his head. I am not saying that he’ll be better or worse than he is now, but he’s done nothing, NOTHING, over the last month to stem the tide of this collapse. Any and all moves he has tried have failed miserably.

    And now, let’s look at the team itself:

    Starting position players: Santana: bad signing this year. May play better overall next year (based on his previous stats) and we can only hope that is true because I don’t see the team being able to move him. Hernandez: The most replaceable position player on the team. He has given you no value whatsoever this season. Cabrerra: Not the long-term answer but would be a good bench guy. Franco: Unless they can get Machado, the Phillies have no one else to play the position and at least Franco has had some pretty good bright spots this year. Hoskins: Good power, RBI numbers and OBP but has really disappointed me this season with his BA. And he can’t play the outfield. A horrible idea to begin with. And it seems like the team is stuck with it for now. He needs to be better next year. Odubel: Time to move on, not a centerfielder and not a consistent enough player to throw out there every day. His mental mistakes costs you games and would really cost you in important, contention/playoff games. Williams: Can be a very good platoon player, but that’s it. Alfaro: Send back down to the minors to work on his overall game. Liability on offense and defense at this point. People rave about his arm but ignore the fact that he throws the ball away almost as much as he throws someone out. And he’s a horrible defensive player. Sign Ramos long-term. Cut Knapp.

    Bench: Kingery: They signed him so they’ll play him (even though he should be in the minors). He needs to play second based, period. He can grow offensively there. Boar: Not a long-term solution. Altherr: Just a very bad wasted year. Not sure if they’ll spend the time and effort to reclemate him.

    Starting pitchers: Nola (stud). Arrieta: Subpar year at best. They won’t be able to move him though. Pivetta: Good arm, not a great pitcher. Valazquez: Not a long-term winning starting pitcher. Eflin: Had promise, but I can’t tell if it’s just fatigue or true inconsistency. But he has absolutely no value at this point, so the Phillies will keep trotting him out there.

    Bullpen: Year-to-year. Some good arms, but not a lot of consistency and Seranthony is extremely overrated (as a closer).

    The strategy and structure of how this team plays is just mind boggling. And it’s truly the reason why fans don’t enjoy this team (even when they were playing well). This style of baseball that Kapler and Klentak promote and teach is horrendous. They truly are the worst defensive team in all of baseball, but the manager acts like it all comes down to shifts and double – and triple-moves to make sure he has the “correct” defensive positioning on the field. But none of his players can play a lick of D. So it doesn’t matter. It’s a waste of time to switch out the shortstop position four times in one game Gabe.

  10. And this, unlike the Sixers “Process”, is what happens when a complete rebuild does not yield enough high level talent to build the next great team. Nola and Hoskins are not enough.

Comments are closed.