I played Fortnite once just to see what the fuss was all about.

All I really knew about the game is that it was a shooter, so I was thinking Halo or Counter-Strike or something like that.

So I make an account, log in, and join a game. Next thing I know I’m parachuting into some zone and trying to find a proper landing spot. I touched down near a gas station, hacked down a door, and found a pistol to arm myself with.


Got the pistol, let’s get rowdy.

I leave the gas station and walk around for four or five minutes looking for something to shoot, but there’s nobody around. I keep seeing messages about “this guy killed this guy” but haven’t actually come across another player, so I keep walking, down a trail and towards some kind of abandoned house. I find a shotgun in there and climb up on top of the house to get a better view of my surroundings.

That’s when some guy shoots me in the back from 40 yards away and it’s game over. No respawn or anything like that. You’re just dead.

My Fortnite experience was walking around for ten minutes looking for another player, then getting killed by some coward who won’t even fight honorably.

I thought the game was shit, but the kids are into it, I guess, and now the NFL is getting involved:


From the release:

Hey Fortnite friends,

We’re excited to announce that Fortnite and the NFL are teaming up for the ultimate football face-off. Starting November 9 at 7PM ET you’ll be able to purchase NFL themed Outfits from the Fortnite Item Shop.

Each Outfit can be swapped to any of the thirty-two NFL teams, plus an additional unique Fortnite team. You’ll also be able to choose any number from 0-99 to place on your jersey to complete the official NFL look.

We couldn’t be more excited to cross the NFL and Fortnite worlds!

Maybe I’ll log back in and give it another try. Anybody with a Cowboys or Giants jersey gets shot in the back from 40 yards away.

My character will be wearing a Mike Trout Eagles jersey.