The Patriots’ Underdog Narrative is Sickening

Photo Credit: Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

The most successful and (likely) the most hated franchise in the NFL has SOMEHOW found another way to become even more reviled, more grotesque, more INFURIATING as they ready themselves to appear in their third straight Super Bowl appearance.

They’re claiming underdog status when they clearly don’t understand what an underdog is.

Let me repeat this:

A team that has been in the Super Bowl three straight years, and four times in the past five years, is trying to claim that they are the “underdogs” of the postseason. A team that went 11-5 in the regular season, has the greatest quarterback and coach combination to ever play in the National Football League, and is favored by Las Vegas in the Super Bowl are trying to play the scrappy underdog role in the postseason.

An elite team with the greatest quarterback to ever throw a pass in the NFL, who now suddenly has a resurgent running game to lean on, that has stayed largely healthy for the entire season, is going back to the Super Bowl FOR THE THIRD MOTHER FUCKING TIME IN A ROW.

Yep. They’re definitely just a bunch of knock-around guys picked off the scrap heap that caught lightning in a bottle and persevered against all odds. What a remarkable story.

You can’t so clearly be the Empire, coached by Emperor Palpatine and quarterbacked by Darth Vader, but claim to be the Rebel Alliance. It doesn’t work that way.

I don’t know about you, but it warms my heart to finally see a scrappy underdog catch a break and topple the success-laden head coach that is Andy Reid.

The Patriots seem to be confusing the national perception of them as being “done” and “no longer a great team” for our real perception of them. We hate your fucking guts. We’re so sick of you having any modicum of success that we grab on to any scrap of hope that you actually may be on the decline and cling to it like a frightened child grabs a blanket when the lights are turned off.

The Patriots are mistaking our hatred of their franchise for disbelief in their abilities. There’s a big difference between “disbelief” and “loathing.” Everyone abhors you, New England, they hate your fucking guts, but nobody doubted that you could actually reach the Super Bowl.

The Eagles were an underdog last year. A real underdog. In both the hearts and minds of fans and sportsbooks throughout the country. Last year’s #1 seed in the NFC lost their MVP-candidate quarterback going into the postseason, were led by a then scrap heap Nick Foles, and were 2.5-point underdogs AT HOME against the Atlanta Falcons in the Divisional playoff round.

They won in the divisional round. They were 3-point underdogs AGAIN at home against the Minnesota Vikings and caved their skull in to go to the Super Bowl. They were 4.5-point underdogs against the (surprise) New England Patriots before ripping the heart out of every Boston fan and capturing the first Lombardi trophy in franchise history.

Three games. Three wins with Foles and his tremendously large genitalia. Three times against favored teams. That’s a true underdog.

The Patriots beat the Chargers in a game played in New England (where they were heavily favored) and beat the Chiefs in Kansas City to go back to the Super Bowl FOR THE THIRD TIME IN A ROW.

I can’t say that enough in this column. They. Are. Going. To. The. Super. Bowl. For. The. Third. Time. In. A. Row. For the third time in a row. FOR THE THIRD TIME IN A ROW.

Pardon me if fans across the country wipe their asses with Julian Edelman’s idiotic “Bet Against Us” t-shirts that he’s currently hocking for $30 a pop at his JE11 website. I notice that the proceeds of the shirts aren’t going to charity or anything… I suppose that’s acceptable when you have a PED habit to support.

Nobody buys your idiotic underdog claim. We’d respect you more if you leaned into your villainous role. Embrace it. Let the hatred fuel you to another Super Bowl victory.

The world needs a villain and you fit the role so perfectly.

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9 Responses

  1. What’s really sickening is the absolute butchering and misuse of the term narrative by all the fanboy bloggers of this site. The “optics” aren’t good. #amateurs

  2. They’ve been written off all year by everyone as a dying franchise with an over the hill QB and a coach that is out of touch with today’s players. I don’t blame them one bit for feeling this way, because everyone has been saying they were finished. It’s funny that a lot of the very same people who are now crying about the Pats considering themselves underdogs are the same people who have essentially given them that label by declaring them finished, but a lack of self-awareness is a requisite for one to become a writer.

    Also, nobody would be saying shit if it was the Chiefs who won that coin toss and marched down the field for a TD. But since the Pats got the job done, everyone’s outraged, get the fuck outta here!

    1. oh and another thing, the only people who are wiping their asses with t-shirts are some kids in a disaster laden third world country and they’re using Kyle’s Chip Kelly slogan tees as toilet paper

  3. How was the overtime fair? …. ahhhhhh maybe don’t let the Patriots score a TD?

  4. You seriously can’t be mocking someone for making money selling sports related T-shirt’s and not giving money to charity on this site?

  5. Remember when the Eagles “killed” the Patriots’ dynasty?!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Go Pats!

  6. Trying to demonize Edelman about his stupid shirt proceeds not going to charity when Kyle ripped off Lane Johnson’s underdog design CHARITY tee last year and profited off it is amazing.

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