I’m Absolutely All In On #HarperLent

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The Phillies are no doubt a better team than the one that collapsed down the stretch a season ago, but even after the J.T. Realmuto trade that brought one of the game’s best catchers to Philadelphia, I still feel a void that I can’t seem to shake. Every night, just as I close my eyes and prepare to go to my dream world, I find myself longing not of days gone by, but of days yet to come. Warm, sunny days. Ones when I adoringly watch Bryce Harper with amazement and wonder from the seats of Citizens Bank Park do that magic that he does.  In one hand a cell phone that captures his latest right field second-deck blast, in the other a gently melted Phillies mini-helmet ice cream sundae. That would be a great treat for me.

Those days seem so close, yet so far. For now, we continue to wait with unease and angst as the Harper (and Manny Machado, I guess) drama plays out. Indeed, it’s been a tough winter as we first endured the early agent/front office posturing that manifested in ambiguous thirst-tweets from baseball reporters like this one:

What were initially welcomed tasty morsels of goodness turned bitter and stale by Christmas, but the recent lack of Phillies/Harper speculation has me now longing for a nibble of those agenda-driven crumbs. I didn’t know it then, but I need them for sustenance.

It’s been tough sitting back, just feeling absolutely helpless as I aggressively swipe my right thumb down on my cell phone, refreshing my Twitter feed in search of a Harper update to no avail. Yet I feel hopeful this morning. I needed something new. Something proactive. Something to believe in. As it turns out, I needed #HarperLent, the brainchild of 94WIP Evening Show producer/High Hopes Podcast co-host Jack Fritz. I’ll let him explain after the jump:

Fritz is urging Phillies fans everywhere to give up something they enjoy, in his case beer, until Harper signs with the Phillies. I asked Fritz about where he came up with the idea:

I just always thought the idea of sacrificing something to get a guy was funny. I was just sitting on my couch and it hit me and (WIP Host/Producer) James Seltzer was all in. I also have been sending weather updates to Bryce Harper all week. So it was kind of an evolution from that.

It’s so stupid, so weird, and so desperate that it’s…perfect. I’m 100% in. It’s time to stop sitting on the sidelines. We need to take matters into our own hands here. Now, I’m not going to give up beer because that’s borderline psychotic shit, but I think I’ve got something. I know this is hard to believe considering my svelte yet chiseled build, but among the things I’ve ingested since Monday include:

  • A Wendy’s Frosty
  • A Chik-fil-A Milkshake
  • A Snickers Bar (x2)
  • At least 10 bite size Milky Way bars (there’s a fun bag in my desk at work)
  • A pack of Skittles
  • A pack of Swedish Fish
  • A pack of those circular caramels with the white icing. Love those things.

That’s not great and it looks even more repulsive when I write it out. True story: I ran 30 miles this week and put on one pound because I eat like a human dumpster. But not anymore–no candy, no sweets, no ice cream, and, perhaps, no more self-loathing and body image issues starting right now. #HarperLent

 

 

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6 Comments

  • Booooooooooo February 9, 2019 at 11:36 am

    Just give up writing for crossingbroad for #harperlent? Seems like a win for everybody if you’re just going to push out some hacky promotion for 94.

    Reply
    • BWanksCB February 9, 2019 at 11:53 am

      You’re late. Had this comment tagged to appear within 20 minutes of the post. And what’s the promo, having fun with something?

      Reply
      • Booooooooooo February 10, 2019 at 10:56 am

        Cool? We can add that to the pile of bar bets this website recommends?

        And I was referring to you promoting WIP to inspire you to go on a diet. Because that’s what it is you’re doing, it’s a diet. Hopefully you can squeeze back into your skinny jeans by the time you’re reporting from Clearwater.

        Reply
  • Giving up candy makes sense, Wankel February 9, 2019 at 11:42 am

    Because you clearly gave up all dignity and self respect working for Quakertown’s tee shirt king.

    Plus, your waistline will thank you. Ball is in Phillies court now dummy. Realmuto allows them to take this into season without panicking. They can wait out Boras on this one. You’ll be wanting a Snickers real bad in April/May.

    Reply
    • BWanksCB February 9, 2019 at 11:52 am

      This doesn’t even make sense.

      Reply
  • The owner of this team is worth billions February 9, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    The TV contract alone covers entire salary of the team with plenty to spare. If your worth 3 billion, even if you break even or lose a few million a year it won’t touch your principal. Even if only 1 billion of his fortune is invested in bonds he is generating 20-30 million a year. Rest assured he is earning way more that. Even uber weatlthy people don’t want to lose money. But if he wants to be presented the Commissioners Trophy in October he will do what is necessary. He can easily sign Bryce and Manny. The other owners won’t like it but who cares. Look at it this way if the late Allen who owned the Seahawks or Balmer who owns the Clippers owned a baseball team it would be all over. They would sign every free agent, keep signing even if they made mistakes until they won title after title. Those guys have so much money it would become like a toy to them. They are sports team owners in league with caps. In baseball it’s just a tax. Obviously at one point the league would have to step in because they don’t want owners buying titles. Even if you have all the best players it doesn’t mean you will win. You still have deal with the other owners and if raise the price of signing players you will have dozens of enemies. The Marlins bought two titles but it’s different now.

    Reply
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