Two of the Least Relevant Baseball Beings on the Planet Take Swings at Philly

Imagine being so irrelevant to baseball that you have about 30% as many followers as a local dickhead blogger in a real market?

Think about that. And then imagine that you swung (and missed) your way to said irrelevance by playing in such hotbeds at Tampa Bay, Detroit and Baltimore before ending on a brief high note in the City By The Bay, where your crowning achievement was removing a thong from your jeans when you were “high as a kite” on Adderall.

You’re Aubrey Huff, and you never would have been able to hack it in a real city:

Moving on– imagine caring so little about your team that Sleepy Chuck Todd is your fan avatar. There’s never been a better dichotomy between famous sports town fans than Jim Cramer in the Philly corner and Chuck Todd in the D.C. green room. Cramer is loud, brash, generally entertaining. Todd, on the other hand, has the energy of a sprained thumb with a toenail-bed of hair to match. And a whole pile of butthurt to match:



2 Responses

  1. One time this kid at school asked for my lunch money and if I didn’t give it up, he gave me a wedgie and put me down the toilet and put my face in the toilet if I didn’t give him the money. It inspired me to get big and defend myself and get some muscle on me and some beef to defend myself! It got me muscular. I confronted him and said I’m not giving up the lunch money. He put my head down the toilet again.

  2. Kyle “MAGA” Scott (nee Laskowski) has returned from sabbatical to blog about baseball. Hi Kyle.

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