50 More Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan

The first “hot takes” article did well last October, so I figured I’d do another one. This will be 50 more hot takes for the Philadelphia sports fan, which brings us to 100 hot takes over the course of eight months.

Now, not all of these are “hot” or even “takes,” i.e. some are lukewarm and some are just observations or maybe even aphorisms. But since this is 2019, I feel encouraged and motivated to just say shit without really thinking it through, then we’ll get people all riled up and benefit from the fake arguments that ensue. That’s the strategy, right? Just fire off a bunch of outrageous claims and watch site traffic roll.

Right, so with that Pulitzer-worthy lede, here are 50 more hot takes for you and your mom, after the jump:

  1. Grown men should not bring a baseball glove to the ballpark unless accompanied by a child who is also wearing a glove.
  2. Glen Macnow and Ray Didinger is the best radio show in Philadelphia.
  3. It’s really weird that fans and media always call NBA players by their first names. We’re not their close friends, so I don’t know why Kawhi Leonard is just “Kawhi” and Kobe Bryant is just “Kobe” and LeBron James is just “LeBron.” We don’t refer to Tom Brady as “Tom” and we don’t refer to Drew Brees as “Drew.” It’s kind of creepy.
  4. Philadelphia sports fans are horrendous at detecting sarcasm and satire.
  5. Shitting on Pat’s and Geno’s for being “touristy” is a tired take. The “what’s your favorite cheesesteak?” argument is beyond worn out.
  6. If you cut off other drivers at the sports complex, you’re an asshole. This is especially true for people in the outside lanes who turn in front of Xfinity Live and just force their way into the Wells Fargo Center parking lots. Wait in line like the rest of us.
  7. Wearing a matching Eagles hat and jersey is inappropriate. The max should be one article of specific team apparel, so either the hat OR the jersey, but not both.
  8. Too many media members in this city treat sporting events like social events, as if it’s important to “see and be seen,” but not actually do any work or ask any interesting questions. It’s the struggle to remain relevant.
  9. You can’t talk shit about soccer if you watch WWE.
  10. Late 90s ECW was better than anything WWE or WCW ever put out.
  11. Tommy Dreamer should be ranked higher on any list of the best ECW wrestlers of all time. (Coggin tells me this is not a hot take)
  12. Every able-bodied writer should be forced to play or referee the sport they cover for at least one year. It adds to your knowledge of the game while offering more credibility at the same time.
  13. People like to complain about “fanboy journalism,” but the fact of the matter is that people click whenever we write a story that makes fun of Dallas, Boston, or New York.
  14. Fake news isn’t fake news because you disagree with it. The term literally means that the story is fabricated. We had this problem with the Joe Santoliquito story, when people outright dismissed it because they didn’t like the assertions being made, regardless of whether or not they were true.
  15. Synchronization at Philly sporting arenas is pretty bad. I’m not sure if it’s an acoustics problem or what, but sometimes simple cheers like “M-V-P or “De-fense” are being shouted at different times by 2-3 different sections of the stadium. It makes it look like we don’t know what we’re doing.
  16. I can’t take you seriously if you can’t actually pronounce player names. It’s not Nelson “Aguilar,” nor is it Alshon “Jefferies” or Chase “Daniels.” Sports radio hosts should be instructed to hang up on callers who can’t pronounce names.
  17. Pittsburgh isn’t a rival city. They are geographically further away than New York and D.C. and the fans who live there are very similar to us.
  18. The NHL has the best overtime rules among the “four major North American sports.”
  19. The NFL has the worst overtime rules, by far.
  20. 162 games of regular season baseball is a total snooze fest. Trim the regular season (boring TV) and add more playoff games (excellent TV).
  21. The Flyers’ decision to cover and then remove the Kate Smith statue was totally rushed, like they didn’t think it through and just copied the Yankees in fear of bad publicity.
  22. Likewise, it bothers me how quickly people were calling for Odubel Herrera’s removal from the Phillies organization. This is America; we gather facts, collect evidence, and exercise due diligence. Then we make informed and educated decisions.
  23. Baseball traditionalists are the worst. “Nothing needs to change! Baseball is perfect the way it is!” Ugh, go away.
  24. There’s too much mucking, grinding, and bullshitting on the boards in the NHL. The international dimensions make for a more open and enjoyable game.
  25. Stephen A Smith is a national treasure.
  26. “Click bait” is defined by the body of the story, not the headline. We are literally trying to write headlines that grab attention and result in people clicking on the story. They’re called “teases” in television lingo.
  27. Boston isn’t much different from Philly. Both are great cities with history and culture and passionate sports fans. The only difference is they have horrible accents and Coggin thinks they’re more racist.
  28. The in-game interview is the worst segment of all time and eternity. There’s no reason a coach should have to speak to the media during an actual game.
  29. Media should not be allowed in the locker room, which is a sacred and private place for athletes.
  30. Arena music is really bad in 2019. Some of the stuff you hear at Sixers’ games is the worst mumble rap ever.
  31. “Welcome to the Jungle” needs to be banned from sporting events forever. It’s worn out.
  32. I can’t support calling touchdowns “tuddies.”
  33. Tomato pie is whatever. It’s not horrible, but it’s not good either.
  34. Twitter should lock for at least 30 minutes after an Eagles loss, and everybody should be required to go outside and smoke a cigarette before they can log back in.
  35. People still have no idea what Colin Kaepernick is protesting.
  36. Criticizing the Wing Bowl for objectifying women feels off-base to me. Nobody forced anyone to be a wingette or escort the eaters to the stage, those women signed up to do that.
  37. I don’t understand Philadelphia’s love for Pearl Jam. Alice in Chains and Soundgarden are the superior Seattle grunge bands. Nirvana is also overrated.
  38. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band may very well be the most overrated act on the planet.
  39. Mike Trout is boring.
  40. Most sports writers and editors have an inflated sense of worth. We are not firefighters or doctors. We are not uncovering Russian collusion. Sports is entertainment. It’s the appreciation of athletic skill and achievement. We can inform and write interesting stories without taking ourselves too seriously.
  41. Let’s not confuse journalism for sports writing. Peter Arnett was a journalist who reported from Vietnam and Iraq. Dan Shaughnessy is a sports writer who covers Boston teams.
  42. We talk about how much we love Philadelphia, about how “blue collar” we are, yet I see trash and dog shit on every street corner. We need to do a better job of taking care of our neighborhoods and showing some pride in where we live.
  43. If you shovel out your own parking spot, then put a cone there to save it, you’re a selfish asshole. It literally takes five minutes to shovel out your neighbor’s car or clear the snow from their steps. Do something for somebody else.
  44. Stop calling Fishtown “hipster.” It hasn’t been hipster for years. All of the hipsters moved to the west side of Frankford Avenue or down to East Passyunk.
  45. Media members who don’t show up during the regular season should be banned from attending playoff games.
  46. Eagles talk should be banned from the end of minicamp to the start of training camp.
  47. I wasn’t a fan of Justin Gaethje’s “American vs. a foreigner” angle at the recent UFC Fight Night at the Wells Fargo Center. Gaethje is from Arizona. His opponent, Edson Barboza, has trained in New Jersey for several years. Barboza was born in Brazil but has more of a connection to this region than Gaethje does. That felt a little hollow to me, the fact that the crowd was lopsided in Gaethje’s favor.
  48. Media members should never talk shit about a player on social media, then go put a microphone in his or her face. Athletes pay attention to those kinds of things.
  49. Calling millennials “soft” is dumb, because Baby Boomers were the ones handing out the participation trophies. We literally created the environment they are living in.
  50. Parents who yell at their kids, the coach, or the referees at a youth sporting event should be immediately escorted from the premises and put on six months of probation.

That’s what I’ve got.

Agree? Disagree? Just want to troll the comments section? Get at me dog.


51 Responses

  1. Re: Fishtown. I don’t think you’re entirely off-base, but coming from someone who’s family is from there (and knew it WAY before the original hipsterization, if I can call it that), maybe we can dub it “Post-Hipster” in the lines of Williamsburg in Brooklyn? I dunno. Either way, spicy takes are always good to read on a slow work day.

    1. That’s a good term. My part of Fishtown seems to have a lot of Gen-X types, like people in their late 30s and early 40s now, mostly white folks who probably listened to Sonic Youth and the Pixies back in the day. The problem I think is that people lump Fishtown into one big area, when the eastern side of the neighborhood (up Girard to Aramingo) is a little older and whiter, while the western side (near Frankford Avenue) is younger a bit more transient.

  2. 2) Didinger and Macnow are the In-N-Out Burger of sports talk radio. Good at what they do but overrated at the same time
    3) Not sure i agree it’s an NBA thing. You cited three NBA guys with very unique names and then cited two NFL guys with very common names. People refer to Saquon and Le’Veon all the time.
    5) Agree

    1. Agree to pt. 3) ex. BRYCE, CARSON, DONOVAN, CHASE, and ODUBEL don’t play in the NBA. it’s about first names that hold more notoriety than surnames

  3. 3. Stop the phrase “mvp canidate.” If you finish outside the top 2 in MVP voting all you had was a good year. Farzetta and The bro are the biggest offenders of this.

    1. So sick of people saying Carson Wentz was having an MVP-like season in 2017. An MVP would have played all 16 games at QB. I like Carson, it was a good 12 or so games, but that’s it. Also played a slate of crappy QBs.

      1. Soundgarden played the Khyber Pass and the Empire Rock Club. Late 80’s, early 90’s. Pearl Jam and Nirvana were both at Dobbs.

  4. I don’t watch wrasslin’, so I feel even more emboldened to say soccer isn’t a real sport.

  5. Disagree with the 1 apparel per team. Its a baseball cap. Should be able to wear a phils shirt and hat to a game.

  6. Some decent stuff on here but rock bands can’t be overrated. Their rating is the number of people that like them. You’re just saying a lot of people like them but you don’t.

  7. There are some really good truths in this, but obscured by prescriptive crap like “don’t wear a matching jersey and hat”. Not all of us have hair to put product in, ya know. Also the millennial take is incoherent bc it reads as though you are calling yourself a baby boomer. But maybe that’s why you seem so amped up about demarcating fish town and marking off your territory. Isn’t that called territorial pissings?

  8. 33: Agree. Event page will day pizza but it’s tomato pie when you get there. Such a freaking tease
    37 & 38: Blame WMMR

  9. i was a little harsh on you the other day kinker, but you kinda left yourself wide open for that one. Totally redeemed yourself with this list. I totally agree with #30, although i’m thinking more about NHL games and the Fall Out Boy/Emo rock sound that has somehow become the anthem of every stoppage, give me Welcome to the Jungle every day and night over that shit. I agree with just about every single one of your takes except #10 on a slight technicality…how “late” 90’s? because mid 90’s ECW was legit and was what WCW/WWF tried to copy 97-beyond. Were there the night Kimona Wanalaya danced atop the ECW arena?

    1. unfortunately I was not there, I was probably 13 years old and at home watching on WGTW channel 48

  10. Also why does Billy Joel need a banner and his concerts in town are considered notable events. Horrible

  11. I do not agree with #43, although I have NEVER shoveled a spot & put out a stolen PGW traffic cone, a folding chair, or a trash can to “save” the spot…the REAL asshole is the person who parks in a spot that a neighbor shoveled out. At lets be real here…when it snows 3 to 4 inches most cars today can drive right thru that. Its when it snows 8″, 10″ or more that you have to actually shovel out a spot & that certainly doesn’t take 5 minutes.

  12. Your take on Springsteen completely destroys your credibility. His shows are great. nobody puts it all out there like Bruce. It’s not like most groups who give you an hour and a half and their done. Bruce and The E Street Band gives you 3 and a half hours of rock n roll. Have you ever even been to a show.?

    1. I don’t like 3 1/2 hour concerts, especially when you don’t play your biggest hits.

          1. How can you hate on Preston and Steve?! You don’t have to listen to them, but they are beloved in this city and deserve to be.

  13. Well said. But…

    #50. I am a supportive sports parent of three. Yelling at your kids to “ run hard” “ hustle” is almost necessitated by the Xbox culture that we didn’t know keeping us running hard and hustling as kids!

    1. Yelling encouragement at your kids in a loud voice is different than yelling negatively towards your kids because they aren’t performing up to your expectations are not the same.

  14. #7 is spot on. It’s only acceptable going to games. If not, rock a generic hat with the jersey or vice versa.

    Baseball is my favorite sport but I agree with #20, you play all those games just to have the least amount of teams make the playoffs. Cut the season short a month and make the playoffs longer.

    1. Heres a good one for you:

      There should be an age limit for how old you can be to wear a jersey. My rule of thumb is never buy a jersey of someone younger than you. I always find it cringey seeing a 55 year old man wearing a jersey of someone 30 years younger

      1. of ever buying a jersey again. he was healthy for what, about 3 years?

  15. Could not agree more with #16. I think you could even make another hot take about that–“Mispronouncing names that aren’t terribly complex/adding an s to a name that seems like it should have it is a proud Philadelphia transition symbolizing our ‘we don’t give shit’ attitude.'” As soon as a caller does that, I discredit anything and everything else they say.

    1. My best friend used to mispronounce his name all the time. Drove me crazy.

    2. Remember when the Phillies were making their runs in 2008-2011 and Tim Mcarver could not pronounce Ruiz. It drove me nuts. Pedro Feliz he could say, Carlos Ruiz not so much.

  16. I agree with a lot of these and am now faced with the dilemma, thinking more highly of you, or looking down on myself. I can’t comment on all so I’ll just mention #37. Alice in Chains is the greatest band of the grunge era. My ranking of the four is:

    Alice in Chains – Great music. Their lyrics are very relatable.
    Pearl Jam – Very good band.
    Nirvana – Close to garbage, with music that didn’t age well.
    Soundgarden – Never really listen to them but for the known songs, but not a fan.

  17. this was enjoyable Kev. The only comment I have…I thought Wing Bowl was canceled more for the drunkenness and racism. Do you listen to Howard Stern? He would send a reporter in every year and it was filled with drunk racist dopes shouting the N-word. Not really surprising that all these Trumpers hate brown people…but these people were drunk enough to admit it.

    1. I heard Cataldi didn’t want to do it any longer, and since the Birds finally won the Super Bowl it was good timing to pull the plug. Plus, all the debauchery was gonna inevitably clash with the #metoo movement.

      1. Good call, wouldn’t want anyone to get fired from a station for inappropriate comments. Lol.

  18. I never got Soundgarden and Black Hole Sun is a song I would be happy if I never had to endure listening to ever again. It is up there with Turn the Page and Hotel California.

  19. If I was actually turned on it would eliminate alot of line cutters

  20. What qualification do you have to call ANYBODY in ANY field over rated? As if you invented music. Man the balls on you. Do you think anyone comes to this site for your scary talented writing? They come for material for the comment section. eeehhh, I got shit to do.

  21. You can say that you are not a fan, but over-rated? Why? How? Compared to whom? That is not an opinion, but rather a statement revealing that your narcissism is off the charts. When they come to Philly or most anywhere else for that matter, it is near impossible to get tickets and has been that way for decades. Go to a concert if you can. (tickets sell out in minutes). Look at the crowd., its not only gray hair and bald heads . Over rated means that you don’t understand why others like something you don’t , as if you can change their opinion to the only one that matters. By the way, you would kill to be considered over rated. That would mean someone actually knows who you are

Comments are closed.