The U.S. Women Just Scored 13 Goals in a World Cup Game

USA 13-0 Thailand
Photo Credit: Michael Chow-USA TODAY Sports

Thailand was not a World Cup 2019 favorite, but holy smokes did they get steamrolled this afternoon by the United States.

Our ladies set a tournament record by scoring 13 goals in their opener, a game that was pretty much over after five minutes of play.

Here’s the list of goal scorers:

  • Alex Morgan (12′, 53′, 74′, 81′, 87′)
  • Rose Lavelle (20′, 56′)
  • Lindsey Horan (32′)
  • Sam Mewis (50′, 54′)
  • Megan Rapinoe (79′)
  • Mallory Pugh (84′)
  • Delran, New Jersey’s Carli Lloyd (90+2′)

Team USA took 39 shots and put 20 on goal while Thailand mustered two. Ten of the U.S. goals came in the 2nd half alone.

It appears as though the U.S. women are not messing around. They are looking to become world champions…

….world fucking champions.



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  • Arvidas SaBONEis June 11, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    This was the most amazing awesome incredible unbelievable thing I have ever ever seen

    I am looking forward to the story tomorrow in the Philadelphia Inquirer by Jon Tannenwald
    I sure hope it is another one of his endless rambling pieces. That is how he rolls
    I just finished the Carly Lloyd piece last night. I read it for the last 2 1/2 years.

    • Kink-shaming in 2019 June 11, 2019 at 5:13 pm

      Then you would know her name is spelled “Carli”.

    • Lietuva! June 11, 2019 at 6:30 pm

      Hey idiot, his name is spelled Arvydas Sabonis, Lithuanian basketball legend.

  • Kink-shaming in 2019 June 11, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    More like Thigh-land, am I right? But in all seriousness, these fine womyn appear to be relatively well-fed and privileged. So, are you sure this is soccer?

  • Saunders June 11, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Wouldn’t mind eating Alex Morgan’s butt-hold fresh off the field

  • Snake June 11, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    I’d give Alex Morgan equal pay with my tongue 👅

  • Rod King June 11, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    They scored more goals than there were people in the stands

  • Jimmy altieri June 11, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    So what, bunch of ugly US dykes beat pretty Thai girls.

    Big tits, little feet, that’s a hit in any man’s league!

  • Larry June 11, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    This years CB Basket Bingo was a total farce.

  • So Taguchi - Phillies Legend June 11, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    Not a real sport….for women or men. Theres your equality….you’re welcome ladies.

  • Glad Russ is gone from this site June 11, 2019 at 7:36 pm

    Can’t wait to meet Sean Cottrell or Jim McCormack or the other “s—t ton of writers” at the next Meet & Greet!!

    • Kink-shaming in 2019 June 11, 2019 at 7:59 pm

      Did Joyboy get fired? I kinda liked his work.

  • Kevin Durant just wants to play ball, and he's misunderstood June 11, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    Soccer posts are killing this site, womens soccer posts will have it flatline.

    • comment awaiting approval June 11, 2019 at 7:44 pm

      not if their uncovered pictures of Hope Solo’s meat curtains

  • Marc Farzettas adderall prescription June 11, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Holy Fuck this guy talks a mile a minute

  • Hope solo’s disgusting butt hole pics June 11, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    These pig dykes deserve equal pay

  • BONER KILLERS June 12, 2019 at 8:27 am

    So a bunch of American pitbulls took down these lithe Thai foxes. Is anyone really surprised?

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