In Honor of the Bagel Boss Guy, Here’s Our Top Ten Short Philly Athletes

via Twitter (@OliviaBradley88)

Look, I’ll be completely honest with you –

I’ve been dying to get the viral Bagel Boss video on this website, but I couldn’t think of a Philadelphia sports connection. That’s when a Twitter follower named Gary suggested that I put together a list of the best short Philly athletes in honor of the 5’0″ guy who went on a sensational rant inside a Long Island bagel joint the other day.

In case you’re living under a rock and haven’t seen this yet, video shows the guy ranting about women who make fun of his height on dating sites. He continues to spew random nonsense and eventually is tackled to the ground by another guy:

Another customer captured the aftermath of the altercation.

Turns out the bagel boss guy has another video on his Youtube channel where he berates a couple of 7/11 employees for the same reason.

I kind of feel bad for the guy for being that short, but listen man, that doesn’t give you the right to go around yelling a bunch of shit at people. Just get it together.

Alright, that being said, here’s our top ten short Philadelphia athletes of all time, hastily put together without a ton of research:

  1. Allen Iverson (6’0″)
  2. Jimmy Rollins (5’7″)
  3. Desean Jackson (5″10″)
  4. Darren Sproles (5’6″)
  5. Michael Vick (6’0″)
  6. Dana Barros (5’11”)
  7. Speedy Claxton (5’11”)
  8. Freddy Adu (5’8″)
  9. Dion Lewis (5’8″)
  10. Ricky Otero (5’7″)

Edit – I forgot about Danny Briere. Throw him in there. Brian Westbrook, too.

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  • The Kernal July 11, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    “expert”, since when did a lack of a Philly sports connection stop you from churning out your usual “quality” content on a daily basis?

    • TIGER BEET TRUTHER July 11, 2019 at 12:24 pm

      Look, I’ll be completely honest with you.
      This article is a waste of time just like 90% of kinker’s other BULLSHlT articles formatted using the ‘tiger beat special font’.

      • Kyle Scott Laskowski July 11, 2019 at 12:26 pm

        i have news for you pal.
        This article has over 200K page views, over half a million clicks
        and has generated over 20K $ in ad revenue.
        Stay tuned for our fake bagel shirts coming out soon!

        • Literally Nothing! July 11, 2019 at 12:33 pm

          You commenters aren’t even .000001 % of the audience!

          • Kyle 0.01 July 11, 2019 at 2:57 pm

            That was the funniest comment that D-bag ever said. Like c’mon you fucking hack…

          • haha July 11, 2019 at 3:08 pm

            did he actually say that???

    • Billy McMillion July 11, 2019 at 12:50 pm

      Lenny Dykstra?

      This list is terrible. Clayton? Absolutely awful.

  • Took a leak on memories margate back bar couple summers back July 11, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    Would love to have a beer with midget bagel

  • The Dude July 11, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    Bobby Clarke was 5′ 10″

    Same for chooch and Dykstra

  • Kevvy the fake "libertarian" strikes (tackles?) again July 11, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    Hey genius, just bc someone says stuff that hurts your fee-fees, doesn’t mean it’s ok to tackle them. Besides you should be on his side anyway. I imagine most women wouldn’t want to go for a guy that appears to use more product than them.

    • Eagleye5 July 11, 2019 at 12:55 pm

      He verbally threatened people and came towards them in a threatening manner.

      • Eagleye5 July 11, 2019 at 12:56 pm

        Btw, I would not have been able to tackle him if I was there since I wouldnt be able to stop laughing in the first place.

  • Forrest Gump Kinkeraid July 11, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Kinker has the IQ of a bagel.

  • Research July 11, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    Kev, sweetheart, JRoll is 5’10” and mike Vick is 6’2”.

    • Hog July 11, 2019 at 2:03 pm

      You obviously never met Vick, he is not 6’2″ maybe 6′ if that.. was more impressed with his play after meeting him in person and realizing he was my size

  • I don't live under a rock July 11, 2019 at 12:48 pm

    and yet, I’ve never heard of this guy nor do I care but ok, does Mark Wahlburg count?

  • Verne Toyer July 11, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    Why does it cost me the same price for a pair of jeans as it does for a regular sized person?

    • milksteak aficionado July 11, 2019 at 7:11 pm

      dead people shouldn’t buy jeans

  • Herve Villechaize July 11, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    The bagel midget is obviously upset because he’s more than likely hung like a light switch…& he only got body slammed because he’s a midget & the other guy was looking for an easy win to up his record.

  • Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf July 11, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    Go have s*x with your mother!

  • Kate Devlin July 11, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    There is nothing worse that a POS ‘article’ that has ha no research done.
    That just really sticks in my craw………..

    Kinker must be sniffing glue again.
    “Cutting and Pasting” is not consider research……

    UNLESS you consider Kyle’s accountant reporting it to the IRS for ‘tax purposes’
    and investors when counting ‘page views/clicks’.

    Go Go Kinker!
    Keep on cuttin, pasting and scratchin just like gus the groundhog.

    huggs kisses and kardashian wishes (even Caitlyn!)!!!

    -Kate Devlin

    • I'm right July 11, 2019 at 4:58 pm

      Not making any accusations, but, can’t sniff glue without paste, amirite

  • Booooooooooo July 11, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    “but I couldn’t think of a Philadelphia sports connection.”

    And that’s stopped you when? There are pieces about propane cylinders on this site.

    My eyes still hurt from the slip about that girl who deuced herself.

  • FUCK OLIVIA SHEA!!!! July 11, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    Fuck Olivia Shea. Typical snowflake. Has to throw in her “misogynistic” “degrade all female staff” comments 🙄🙄🙄. My goodness do I hate the world we’re becoming in 2019.

    • Carnival Barker July 11, 2019 at 4:39 pm

      Who? You one of those angry dudes who hate their Moms/girlfriends/wives?

      • Tiger Beat Truthing in 2019 July 11, 2019 at 8:48 pm

        1. It’s in the article who she is, ya klutz. 2. Carnival Barkers are less reputable than degenerate Delaware riverboat gamblers.

  • Graph July 11, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Danny Briere was 5’9. Cmon man.

  • So Taguchi - July 11, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    Carson is no more than a foot tall when he’s laying on the ground injured…..

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