One of the great things about Phillies Alumni Weekend is that it dredges stories of yesterlore, most involving Pat Burrell.

Jen Utley, whom I would nominate for Queen of Philly (for real, name another candidate), was on the 97.5 morning show today I believe as part of a media availability for her heroic work to save every last animal on the planet (like I said, Queen), and she shared with us two USEFUL anecdotes about the night the Phillies won the World Series in 2008.

  1. Everyone went back to Pat Burrell’s house (naturally) and partied until 5 a.m. I’m not sure if I knew this bit or just thought I knew it, but the party being at Burrell’s was going off at -180, so this really doesn’t come as a surprise.
  2. The next morning – hours later – she and Chase hosed off their puppy.

Que es?

I’ll let her Royal Champness explain:

“So we had adopted our dog Jack, went and did the whole World Series that night when they won… so we go out all night. We were at Pat Burrell’s house celebrating that night after the win. And we probably came home at like 5 a.m. and we had our new puppy, who was in a crate. We get up at 7, he’s just whining, whining, whining, and we are like lifting our eyelids up with cranes. And the dog, because he’s a baby, has had explosive – I’m gonna let you fill in the blank – and we are like “oh my God!” wrapping this puppy in a towel at 7 a.m. the morning after the World Series win. Down on the street of Washington Square, hosing off this dog and hosing out his crate.”

Imagine a couple living their own brand more than Chase and Jen Utley – World Fucking Champions, animal crusaders – on the street of Washington Square hosing down their shit-stained puppy while the champagne wasn’t even dry in Chase’s iconic mane.

My thought here is that oh my God, Chase is just like me. We would be such good friends. I, too, have hosed down a shit-covered dog. The difference is that I suppressed the memory, almost resented that I had to stoop to that level of domestication. I’m too important for this! I’m a blogger! But not Chase. No, no. Throws out Bartlett at home one minute, gets liquid excrement out of Jack the next. This will fuel me to be a better husband and father. I’ll embrace’s life icky parts now. And if you think my obsession of modeling myself after Chase Utley is uncomfortable, I don’t know what to tell you. I, Kyle Scott, can’t wait to tell my two kids, Kyle and Chase, about this latest morsel involving The Great Chase Utley.