Breaking News Red Alert DEFCON 1: Ben Simmons Just Hit a Three-Pointer in a Real Game

Where were you when Ben Simmons hit his first three-pointer in a regular season NBA game? Not in practice. Not against the Guangzhou Loong Lions. We’re talking about a real game.


I’ve seen enough. November 20th of every year will now be known “Ben Simmons Corner Three Day.” Everybody will get the day off, unless you are essential personnel, like a police officer, firefighter, or triage nurse. The rest of us will spend the day working on a skill that helps us become better at our careers.

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  • Ben Simmons, Future Laker November 20, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    Fucking. Embarrassing.

    • James lebron November 21, 2019 at 10:19 am

      Beyond embarrassing. This pu$$y actually said all his hard work and dedication has paid off….in making ONE 3 point shot?
      This overrated clown is a disgrace to basketball.

  • Great to see November 20, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    Admitted Simmons brasher.

    That was a smooth shot. Hopefully he gets out of his head.

  • King of the Toys November 20, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    nice moment, absolutely ruined by Zumoff’s “hold me back fam”, what a fucking tool. The he follows that gem up with “maybe now they’ll leave him alone” um no dummy, how about Ben actually starts routinely shooting these since it will space the offense for every other player on the floor.

    • Marv alberts wig November 20, 2019 at 10:11 pm

      I love white announcers attempting to sound black. You’re lucky enough to be born white, why would you want to sound like one of them?

      • Mirror November 21, 2019 at 6:57 am

        I love it when internet cowards attempt to sound tough.

        You are unlucky enough to be born a coward, why go online and prove it?

        • Pot..kettle November 21, 2019 at 8:23 am

          Ok snowflake

          • Triggered November 21, 2019 at 9:07 am


  • Noob November 20, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    Uh oh…Happy learned how to put.

  • Nicky negadelphia November 20, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    When’s the parade?

    • Ben Simmons, Future Laker November 21, 2019 at 8:58 am

      I can’t wait. The parade they threw for him for making that three in the exhibition game rivaled the Eagles Super Bowl and Phillies World Series parades. What a day!

  • Mark’s 3 inches November 20, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    Anyone know the name/IG of the milf with the milkers who they kept showing dancing on the arena big screen? Asking for a friend.

    • Julia Rae November 21, 2019 at 6:12 am


  • Baseline 3, aka the shortest 3 November 21, 2019 at 12:35 am

    Not for nothing tho, he’s got an ok looking stroke. Not like the double hitch fultz shot, who might I add, is actually turning things around in orlando

  • kenneth keith kinkyhead November 21, 2019 at 5:09 am

    For Bem Simmons Day, I’m going to work on writing original, interesting content instead of copying Twitter!

  • matt cord is a 60 year old tool November 21, 2019 at 8:18 am

    Dude ruins the game experience live and on TV. Seriously, turn the echo effect off and just say the names like a professional. Also, you’re like 60 years old – cool it with the flat-billed hats and hipster gear. Dress your age.

    • Mikey mush November 21, 2019 at 1:28 pm

      Hey bro, you’re just jealous bro, listen to alt and get woke, bro. 2nd-level thinking, bro.

  • bad next couple weeks for mrs scott... November 21, 2019 at 8:56 am

    No better time than this for a T-Shirt opportunity..
    Sweatshop Labor on the Cheap!

  • Apology for poor english November 21, 2019 at 9:52 am

    Where were you when ben was three?

    I was at home eating cheestake when Kevyn post

    ‘ben hit 3’


  • Toby kinte November 21, 2019 at 10:22 am

    Zumoff is just another wigger.

  • Danny faulkner November 21, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Mumia Abdul-Jabbar will be ring the bell at the next home game!!

    • Raise your fist for freedom Malcolm November 21, 2019 at 11:16 am

      I’m sure Malcolm X Jenkins wants Mumia to be set free.

    • They hate us for our freedoms November 21, 2019 at 11:46 am

      I think he meant NBA legend Kareem Abu-Jamal.


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