50 Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan: Special Guest Edition

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Hope everybody is staying safe and washing their hands while practicing social distancing. If we all follow the rules and don’t act like dummies, we should get through this thing sooner rather than later. Let’s not be like those dopey spring breakers down in Miami. 

Crossing Broad is doing okay in the content department so far. NFL free agency is rolling, which has really helped. We haven’t had to scrape the bottom of the barrel just yet, and sports blogging is certainly the furthest thing from “essential” during a crisis, but if we can provide a laugh along the way, we’ll give it a go.

As we band together during a difficult time, I have compiled a very special version of the 50 Hot Takes article. This edition of the award-winning column features only the hottest takes from local print, television, radio, and social media personalities. It’s a guest-only version for your isolated and sanitized reading pleasure:

  1. Geoff Mosher, 97.3 ESPN and Inside the Birds podcast: Roman Quinn will lead the National League in on-base percentage this year.
  2. Joe Giglio, 94 WIP and The Art of the Take podcast: Most pizza isn’t very good, and it’s our fault. We have no pizza standards anymore because we all just instinctively say pizza is good because we like the idea of pizza. As someone who cares about a good slice of pizza, it’s a shame that no one holds pizza accountable these days.
  3. Brandon Lee Gowton, Bleeding Green Nation: Nick Foles gets too much credit for the Eagles’ Super Bowl win. He’s revered as if he started every game during the 2017 season.
  4. Bill Kornfeld, Talk Radio 1210 WPHT: All sports movies suck; they all end the same way with the good guys winning.
  5. Russ Cohen, hockey writer/author: The Hands Across America reboot will be canceled.
  6. Eytan Shander, 97.3 ESPN and Fox Sports the Gambler: That ‘No one likes us’ song is the biggest hypocritical piece of music in this city. We can’t get enough of caring about what other people think of us.
  7. Jimmy Kempski, Philly Voice: Airlines should install a switch on the back of every seat that allows passengers to prevent the person in front of them from reclining.
  8. SixersAdam, RTRS writer: Chanting “E-A-G-L-E-S” at a Phillies / Sixers / Flyers game is dumb and the people who do it need to get over themselves.
  9. Harry Mayes, formerly 97.3 ESPN and 97.5 the Fanatic: If not for the Wuhan Corona Virus, the Flyers would’ve finally won another Cup.
  10. Zack Rosenblatt, NJ.Com: The best cheesesteak isn’t in Philly. It’s at Chick’s Deli in Cherry Hill.
  11. Mike Gill, 97.3 ESPN: AC cheesesteaks are better than Philly cheesesteaks. The bread makes the sandwich, and the AC roll is superior. People from Philly agree but wont admit.. regardless if you like Dinos, Sack O’s or White House… the AC cheesesteak is the winner of this battle.
  12. Jason Blevins, The Painted Lines: Spending 300+ million on a right fielder is dumb when you have one of the worst farm systems in baseball.
  13. Sarah Todd, The Deseret News (two takes): Milk, coffee, and whiskey are all disgusting. Why are people drinking things that objectively taste bad? (1) Old people who used to be reporters but are far past retirement age and do no real work, should not be credentialed media members. That’s probably not a hot take so much as agreed on by everyone under 50. (2)
  14. Jon Johnson, 94 WIP: Any male 18 years of age or older that brings a baseball glove to a game should be publicly shamed, and forced to give any caught foul ball to the child sitting closest to them. Same goes with any person 18 years of age or older trying to get an autograph. If a player signs anything they are putting in front of them, they should be forced to give it to the child nearest to them. That 10 seconds that lasts a lifetime should go to a child, not a grown man in jogging pants.
  15. Jason Myrtetus, Flyers/podcast host, formerly 97.5 the Fanatic: Sports talk radio hosts actually like having no sports to talk about for a change because it lets them show how diverse they really can be as an entertainer if they have prepared properly.
  16. Bob Ford, Philadelphia Inquirer (a couple of takes): Without fail, there’s one asshole with a non-neutered pit mix in the dog park. (1) Most of the people who complain about cars being parked in the South Philly medians actually live in Wayne and can’t back out of their own driveways without an attendant. (2) I just don’t get sour beer, and it’s possible the people who really enjoy it aren’t all dweebs, but I don’t want to drink with them. (3)
  17. Violeta Yas, NBC 10 and Telemundo: Diner en Blanc is the biggest scam in modern history.
  18. Tyrone Johnson, 97.5 the Fanatic: We aren’t the tough blue collar city we claim to be.
  19. Dan Koob, CBS 3 Eyewitness News: Batman is all of us and Superman is the dumbest comic book character of all time.
  20. Jamie Lynch, 97.5 the Fanatic: People that drive in the left lane and aren’t actively passing anyone are detriment to society and cause traffic.
  21. Liam Jenkins, Philly Sports Network: People who rush onto a train without letting people off first should be RKO’d off the platform.
  22. Ducis Rodgers, Action News (several takes): High fives after made free throws are dumb. High fives after missed free throws are dumber. (Although with social distancing, this is even more true) (1) Rappers should be the only ones to refer to themselves in the third-person. Athletes should not. (2) Bring back the bullpen cart. (3) Don’t kill the onside kick. (4) Barbecue sauce is better than ketchup in every situation (hot dogs, burgers, fries, etc.) (5) Netflix peaked two years ago. (6) Watching sports on TV is infinitely more appealing than attending in person. (7)
  23. Larry Henry, Soccer by Ives and Fox Sports the Gambler: Sean Couturier is the most under-appreciated modern-day Philadelphia player.
  24. Andrew Porter, 94 WIP: Ben Simmons will have a better NBA career than Allen Iverson.
  25. Matt Leon, KYW News Radio: Given our current situation, one thing I’ve always noticed is that in the past, whenever new “threats” are brought to light – Y2K, bird flu, SARS etc. and they turn out not be devastating, the reflexive response is that they were overblown by the media. Maybe we should give some consideration to the fact that these things didn’t hit as hard as they could’ve because a lot of people worked really hard to blunt the impact. Just a thought.
  26. John McMullen, 97.3 ESPN: Social media is society’s biggest pandemic right now.
  27. Brian Hickey, formerly Philly Voice: The removal of the Kate Smith statue will go down in local-sports history as the thing which turned the Flyers franchise around. And, obviously, pickles are the worst food on the face of the Earth.
  28. Vince Quinn, 94 WIP: We shouldn’t hand out 5 stars for being average. Make people earn it!
  29. Kevin Casey, Subaru Park PA announcer: Every adult man should know how to tie a bow tie. If you are wearing it pre-tied then you’re doing it wrong.
  30. Ryan Rothstein, 97.3 ESPN: This Sixers team was built around Ben and not Joel Embiid. We all knew Embiid worked well with JJ in the halfcourt sets with the dribble handoff. Embiid and Jimmy Butler also worked well together and became close friends off the floor as well. To let both walk and then bring in another center and a guard in J Rich who doesn’t spare the floor how Jo would need him to… makes you wonder.. could Embiid be on the move?
  31. Ky Carlin, Sixers Wire: Mustard on a hot dog is absolutely disgusting.
  32. Marisa Pilla, MLS and NWSL host: I know he’s considered to be a great rapper and lyricist but I can’t stand Common. He completely ruined one of my favorite songs on Kanye’s College Dropout album back in 2004 and I still can never forgive him for it.
  33. Sarah Baicker, formerly NBC Sports Philadelphia: People can make fun of Madison Square Garden all they want for it “being in a train station,” but it’s actually one of the best arenas in the country (ESPECIALLY to watch hockey!) and the train station part is amazingly convenient for in-town and out-of-town fans.
  34. Josh Martin, bass player for The Wonder Years: Studio fades are for cowards, end the damn song for real.
  35. Chip Reiderson of Philly sports Twitter: “Everyone hated the Frank Reich hiring because they said he sucked as an offensive coordinator in San Diego. They thought he didn’t do anything because he didn’t calls plays. They were more upset about John DeFilippo leaving because “it will hurt Carson’s development!!” But now, one of the most frequent Eagles hot takes is… “hE wAs ThE rEaL gEnIuS tHaT wOn Us ThE sUpEr BoWl.”
  36. Amy Cherry, WDEL radio (two takes): Tom Brady should have just retired. (1) Delaware liquor stores are still open, honestly, it’s where all the PA people come for their booze anyway. (2)
  37. Matt Lombardo, NJ.Com: If the money is equal, Tom Brady should sign with the #Chargers over the Buccaneers, if for no other reason than the chance to stick it to the #Patriots for unceremoniously showing him the exit. (this was submitted before the Brady deal, but I’ll leave it up since I think it holds – Kinkead)
  38. Zainab Javed, Sixers fan: “Pokèmon Go to the polls” was really good, actually. People only talk shit because they think hating things is the cool thing to do.”
  39. Kevin Cooney, Philly Voice: One of the biggest mistakes the city made at the time of the construction of the Linc was not insisting on a dome. It could have been a real boom for the city with Super Bowl consideration, Final Fours, Wrestlemania and other special events that are not going to be given to this part of the country without it. Seriously, the NCAA would have put the city on the rotation for the Final Four every five years. Now, the place sits empty 330 days a year with no hope of expanding the portfolio.
  40. Pat Gallen, CBS 3 Eyewitness News (two takes): While sports and mostly everything else are shut down, try meditation. I know, you’re probably like “shut up”…but I’m serious. With extra time, and obviously some extra stress due to the issues we’re going through, take 10, 20, 30 minutes to sit quietly, if you can. I’ve been doing it for a few years now and it’s a game changer. Science says it helps you relax, think clearer, and enjoy life more. I tend to agree. (1) The Philadelphia Flyers will win multiple cups the next 5 years (If and when there is hockey) (2).
  41. Andy Wheeler, CBS 3 Eyewitness News: The Philly special is the most irresponsible play call in NFL history.
  42. Dan from the Process Potables podcast: There’s no reason for a pop or rap artist to ever tour unless they have a full backing band.
  43. Steve from the Process Potables podcast: Only jabronis drink hard seltzers and while we’re at it, seltzer water also sucks.”
  44. Sarah Kinkead, wife: “After using free and clear detergent and laundry balls, scented with essential oils (lavender), I never want to to go back to smelly, artificially-scented laundry detergent.”
  45. Union Hulk, Twitter personality: “IF U SAY LITERALLY WHEN IT NOT NEEDED, FOR EXAMPLE “THAT BALL IS LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO YOU,” U DON’T NEED TO SAY LITERALLY THERE WE UNDERSTAND. THE BALL RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.”
  46. Tyler Zulli, 97.5 the Fanatic: Bacon is nasty and by far the worst of the breakfast foods.
  47. Jessica Towne, Babes on Broad podcast: Regular Oreos are better than double stuffed.
  48. Twitter user @njDylan: Chip Kelley deserves more credit than Doug P for winning the super bowl.
  49. Twitter user @Steve_Schu: Tiger Woods’ chip shot on the 16th at the 2005 Masters wasn’t thaaat impressive. That pin location tends to feed the ball towards the hole, which is why there are hole in ones on that hole every year.
  50. Kyle Scott, Crossing Broad: We’re going to be stuck in our homes for 18 months.

There you have it.

It really does not get any hotter than this.

On a serious note, I’d like to thank everybody who participated by sharing a take. Let’s read or listen to their stuff during lockdown and help keep the sports and news media industry afloat.

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20 Comments

  • Sarah Todd deserves a 🏅 March 19, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    I had to stop @ #13 because Ms. Sarah is 100% right about old washed up has been media members (Howard Eskin) showing up at press conferences as if any one wants to see their old ugly face.

    Good job 👍 Sarah.

    Reply
    • Marshall J March 19, 2020 at 6:35 pm

      Sarah Todd Palin is jealous because no one ever heard of her and everyone knows The King.

      Reply
  • Orange Cassidy looks like spike Eskin March 19, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    Couldn’t agree more with #20. Drives me insane when Sunday drivers are in the left hand lane .

    Shocked no tony Bruno hot take .

    Reply
    • Cowboy Adam Page March 20, 2020 at 6:49 am

      Nyla Rose is an Ike Reese Doppleganger

      Reply
  • Paul March 19, 2020 at 4:14 pm

    51. My Ass, At Home for 8 weeks (two takes): People should take credit for good hot takes and admit bad ones after the fact. (1) The number should go before the item in the list, rather than after. (2)

    Seriously, doesn’t the (2) look stupid there???

    Reply
  • Oooooof March 19, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    This blows

    Reply
  • Mitch Cumsteen March 19, 2020 at 4:43 pm

    Hope Sean Peyton French kissed Malcolm Jenkins.

    Reply
  • #51--Macnow and Diddy Show Is Overrated March 19, 2020 at 4:57 pm

    #3 is dumb
    #4–Rocky loses in first Rocky
    #6–Can’t belive i agree with Eytan on something
    #7–Kempski is a tool and a coward
    #45–couldn’t agree more. Not sure when the whole “literally” thing started, but it’s so annoying

    Reply
    • Hello hello March 19, 2020 at 5:32 pm

      Besides being unlistenable, Eytan is from NYC/CT. He’s the last person that should be commenting on Philly.

      Reply
  • GOOGLE ME! March 19, 2020 at 5:01 pm

    SixersAdam and Zainab Javed are fucking embarrassing.

    Reply
    • The Dude March 20, 2020 at 7:56 am

      Correct. Exhibits A) and A1) of terrible “Sixers Twitter”. Adam is 12 and tweets like it, and Zainab Javed knows nothing beyond thirst for Mike Scott, yet I see both of their tweets constantly despite not following either.

      Reply
  • Gene March 19, 2020 at 7:22 pm

    I am a 100% dem liberal. I voted for Hillary. I hate Trump. But he is doing an amazing job right now. I was all about voting for Biden. But now I will be voting for Trump. He handles pressure very well.

    Reply
    • The Dude March 20, 2020 at 8:02 am

      Troll much? The few actual Trump supporters I know are jumping ship over this mess. The guy is so far over his head i’d almost feel bad for him if he didn’t deserve every bit of it. He disbanded the CDC pandemic response unit in 2018… That alone makes him unelectable, or at least it will when the death toll gets into the 5 figure range. Add to it that he’s not going to be able to hold his petit-nazi rallies during the campaign and he’s cooked.

      Reply
    • We dont want your vote liberal scum March 20, 2020 at 8:02 am

      It’s the wuhan virus get it right

      Reply
      • Don T March 20, 2020 at 8:46 am

        I appreciate the support, but you can tell by his writing (short nonsense sentences) that he is a long time Don T supporter.

        Like me, he is just a bad liar.

        Chin up! It’s almost April and the virus will magically disappear.

        Note – there really is no virus – just a left wing conspiracy fueled by fake news.

        I have to go down the hall now and wake my wife. She hasn’t slept with me in years.

        Reply
  • Heinz Guderian March 20, 2020 at 8:55 am

    #16 (3) is spot on, Sour beers suck.

    Reply
  • Just a Guy March 20, 2020 at 9:39 am

    People that drive in the left lane and don’t pass are the same people that back into parking spots in the Wawa parking lot.

    Reply
  • fire angelo March 20, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    #3 – 100% disagree, I believe that without Nick Foles, the Eagles would not have won that game…the guy was unconscious and the defense took the day off
    #13 – preach
    #15 – unfortunately, none of them work in Philly
    #21 – same for elevators
    #29 – bow ties are for sissies
    #31 – dumbest comment ever
    #41 – and also the greatest
    #45 – how about people saying “like I said” before they said anything? Or “Offensive side of the ball” or “defensive side of the ball”, or “golf shot” when you’re playing golf!

    Reply
  • mayor of Colwyn March 21, 2020 at 12:31 am

    #51: Jason Kelce’s parade speech is vastly overrated. People were too dumb to realize he was talking about them. Everything he bitched about were statements made by Philly fans all year long– not the national media. It was such a “Look at Me” moment that it would have made Trump proud!

    Reply
  • Globe troller March 21, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    Dr Rachel Levine is hot and rumor has it a lot of dudes are lining up to suck her dick.

    Reply
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