The Coronavirus Cannot be Cured by Snorting Cocaine or Drinking Bleach

Tony Montana

Kyle continues to monitor COVID-19 from his impenetrable Bucks County bunker. He’s well equipped with latex gloves, wet wipes, a flame thrower, and all of the toilet paper within a 25 mile radius of Doylestown.

One category of things that will not protect you from the Coronavirus, however, is the illicit drugs + hard chemicals combination. Sadly, but not surprisingly, some bozos are snorting coke and doing other moronic things in an effort to sanitize both the interior and exterior of their bodies.

Via Christina Capatides at CBS News: 

A quick glance at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or TikTok will provide a slew of these fake cures: garlic, masturbation, bleach, even cocaine.

Prominent QAnon YouTuber Jordan Sather, for example, tweeted to his more than 121,000 followers that a “miracle mineral solution,” which effectively involves drinking bleach, can wipe out COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus.


The FDA has long warned that drinking chlorine dioxide products can lead to “severe vomiting, severe diarrhea, life-threatening low blood pressure caused by dehydration, and acute liver failure.” Yet, with each new outbreak or high-profile illness that arises, these products are seemingly promoted on social media and sold by independent distributors anew.

Let’s be smart.

Wash your hands, don’t breathe on other people AND stay off the Market-Frankford line if you don’t need to be on it. We’ll combat COVID-19 with common sense measures, not by emulating Tony Montana in Scarface.


7 Responses

  1. A biological weapon, unleashed on China, Italy and Iran that unfortunately (for the CIA) has backfired and is now wreaking havoc on thee entire planet.

  2. The good news is that if you have ever ordered a Wawa hoagie off their petri dish ordering screens and then ate the said delicious hoagie off the trash can outside the store, your immune system is primed to battle COVID19.

    1. …with the gummy bread, white crunchy tomatoes and overly salted – high nitrate- meat?

  3. “…with the gummy bread, white crunchy tomatoes and overly salted – high nitrate- meat?”

    Yeah, but it’s convenient, so that balances things out. Right Kev?

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