The Worst of Philadelphia, 2020 Edition: Final Four (With a Huge Upset)

We began with 16 and now we’re down to four.

Only one can be crowned the absolute worst of Philadelphia, and it’s getting pretty tight as the cream of the crop rises to the top. Three #1 seeds advanced to the Final Four on the strength of the general abhorrence they invoke, but we did have an Elite Eight upset, with a pre-tournament favorite being knocked out by a #3 seed in shocking fashion.

To the results:

The Schuylkill Expressway is our defending champion, and it put up a strong showing, knocking out potholes and sink holes with 65% of the vote. The expressway is kind of like the Duke Blue Devils. You absolutely hate them but you begrudgingly accept the fact that they’re pretty damn tough.

In the Fishtown regional:

The wage tax was a 2018 finalist and cruised past Wawa haters. I bet they’ll still complain about the “different bread” and “low-quality” lunchmeat, however, not realizing that people go to Wawa for convenience and familiarity.


Josina and her snitch are a threat to win it all.

The meddling pair put in a comprehensive performance in dispatching the #2 seed, “trash everywhere.” Josina is looking to be crowned “Worst of Philadelphia” for the first time ever.

Finally, a huge upset here:

Angelo Cataldi’s fake outrage with a statement victory over the Philadelphia Parking Authority.

Some people may have been underestimating the faux-indignation emanating from 2400 Market Street. Similar to the Coronavirus, we probably did not take this #3 seed seriously as a title-contender.

Here’s your updated bracket, with two monstrous Final Four matchups. That Josina Anderson/Angelo Cataldi contest is an absolute behemoth:

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4 Responses

  1. Trash drives me fucking nuts . Montreal Canadians love throwing food trash and their Swisher Sweets wrappers on the ground .

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