Remember when the Miami Marlins decided not to take COVID-19 seriously? They played a baseball game anyway, put the Phillies and their clubhouse staffers at risk, and started a domino effect that resulted in a handful of teams sitting out while other squads continued to play baseball.

The Marlins received… hang on let me check my notes… zero punishment for their selfish transgressions, and are once again playing baseball. That’s bad enough as it is, but then you take a huge block of salt, like the ones you give the deer up in the Poconos, and shove that into the open wound, because guess what? They’re first place in the NL East after beating the absolutely pitiful Orioles last night, 4-0.

The game was delayed 40 minutes due to a final round of testing and lack of clearance, and when they got the okay from Major League Baseball they went and beat stinky Baltimore with half of their team not even available.

Jeff Passan at ESPN:

The Marlins put a whopping 17 players on the injured list, and starting second baseman Isan Diaz opted out for the rest of the season. They showed up with an equal number of replacements on their 30-man roster — some from their minor league camp, others obtained via trade and a few plucked off the waiver wire. They included an Olympic short track speed skating medalist who had yet to play in the majors (middle infielder Eddy Alvarez) and a couple of pitchers named Josh Smith (Josh A. Smith and Josh D. Smith).

And check out these quotes from manager Don Mattingly:

“We’ve just got to try to hold down the fort and get some guys back, survive this trip and see where we’re at,” Mattingly said. “This one felt good. We’ve been through a lot.”

“I’m going to have to write a book after this one,” he added. “You get tested and you persevere and you learn from a lot of situations.”

Yeah? You’ve ‘been through a lot?’ You ‘persevere and you learn?’ Did you learn anything about not being selfish doofuses in the process? It was your team’s lack of accountability and concern that put other teams at risk and turned the schedule upside down. You should just be happy you’re even allowed to play baseball at this point.

What a bunch of losers. I hate this story with every fiber of my being. The Marlins stink and so does Don Mattingly. And now they’re in first place because Rob Manfred says “we have this new thing called winning percentage.” Keep in mind, this is the same guy who suspends Joe Kelly eight games for throwing at the cheating Astros, who weren’t punished, and similarly does nothing to discipline the team that screwed up the Phillies’, Yankees’, and Orioles’ early-season schedules.

Get the Marlins out of here. They’re a jinx. Put ’em in the bathroom!