Gabe Kapler returns to Philadelphia Monday night with his 9-6 San Francisco Giants. It’s a three game series for the Phillies, hosting their former manager for the first time.

San Fran isn’t bad this season. 35 year old Evan Longoria is raking. Brandon Crawford and Austin Slater are knocking in runs. The pitching staff is solid enough. He’s got his boys playing some decent baseball out there on the West Coast.

As we pay homage to Kapler, who was a lightning rod for controversy in this city, we’re re-living some of his most memorable moments in Philadelphia.

We’ll start it off with Howard “The King” Eskin asking him about coconut oil masturbation at his introductory press conference:


“I don’t want to get specific, but there’s an elephant in the room, people like here, I mean ‘coconut oil’ is a phrase. I threw it out there. Gabe, any reservations? And Matt any reservations? Gabe, for putting it out there? And Matt, while you were in the interview process.”

Great question. Well-phrased!

To jog your memory, the background here is that Kapler wrote a 2014 blog post in which he cited the myriad health benefits of coconut oil, suggesting that it was a good lubricant for jacking it:

You’re moisturized and smelling tropical, your teeth are white and your face looks like you’ve just visited a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it’s just you by your lonesome…well, this is awkward. I’ve promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I’ll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world’s greatest lubricant. I can’t help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can’t steer it. 

sleep well,


It took off in Philly, because it was kind of random and goofy. Here’s the new Phillies manager suggestively talking about jerking off on his blog. It was a California guy discussing something that might not be at all taboo on the West Coast, but old school Philadelphia found this “holistic” type of thing quirky and laughable, because we’re “rugged” men or whatever the thought is.

Kap’s answer actually wasn’t bad, but in no way was the topic worth a question. Not at his introductory press conference, not ever. It wasn’t relevant. It had nothing to do with baseball or the Philadelphia Phillies. It didn’t present any kind of red flag or “character” issue or anything like that.

But good on Howard for asking “the hard questions” that need to be answered, right?