Mike Krzyzewski is retiring at the end of the 2021-2022 basketball season. Legendary coach. More than 1,000 wins. Five national titles. Olympic gold medals, etc. You name something and he’s probably won it.

But what the hell is going on here? –

They play this song at Duke games. It’s an EDM/dance song, and the Cameron Crazies go into this clapping and jumping routine when the beat picks up. That’s what the lady in blue in the above video is doing, who may or may not be a family member, if Twitter is to be believed.

Regardless, the whole thing is cult-like. Cultish. The Duke cult of elitism and snobbery. We’re at a press conference not a pep rally, right? Right? 

Keep in mind, this is day one of the Coach K retirement tour. It’s gonna be the most insufferable retirement tour of all time. The amount of pomp is gonna make the KISS farewell tour (all ten of them) look like Joan Osborne live at The Sellersville Theater. Every single ACC school is gonna give him some sort of gift, and there’s gonna be a pregame photo op, and media slurping and all of this stuff. ESPN will present us with non-stop Coach K talk for the entirety of the season, and you know they’re gonna get a fucking #1 seed with their first tournament game in Raleigh or Greensboro, because it’s Duke, and they are God’s gift to basketball, according to them.

It’s not that Coach K doesn’t deserve it, because he’s the GOAT, but good God is Duke annoying. They are so weird.