While we thank God it’s Friday, perhaps we should pray for Tony’s New York Deli in Wallasey, England. The small deli across the River Mersey from Liverpool tweeted out their interpretation of a Philly Cheesesteak and got ratioed in a big way:

https://twitter.com/TonysDeli_/status/1414904145249816579?s=20

Let’s dissect this a bit. That looks like melted cheddar, which is neither whiz, provolone, or American, all of which are acceptable selections on a cheesesteak.

Some people in the replies attempted to denounce the presence of onions, though we all know they’re a perfectly reasonable addition to a cheesesteak.

There’s not a clear enough look at the beef, so it’s difficult to discern whether they’ve gone with a thin-sliced ribeye, or a true chuck roast bastardization.

However, the bread is in of itself a worthwhile discussion and perhaps one for residents of the Delaware Valley to consider. This cheesesteak appears to be built upon some sort of artisan roll. Per a reply in the thread, this is “tiger bread”:

https://twitter.com/hestisiod/status/1415816646359408642?s=20

A quick trip to every high school student’s favorite source for information, Wikipedia, reveals the following about this bread that is  neither made from nor looks like a tiger:

The bread is generally made with a pattern baked into the top made by painting rice paste onto the surface prior to baking. The rice paste that imparts the bread’s characteristic flavor dries and cracks during the baking process. The bread itself has a crusty exterior, but is soft inside. Typically, tiger bread is made as a white bread bloomer loaf or bread roll, but the technique can be applied to any shape of bread.

Crusty exterior and soft interior. That might be the best part of what many would consider to be an abomination. Referred to in some parts of the US as “Dutch Crunch”, tiger bread is sold at Wegman’s as Marco Polo bread:

While they note that it’s an Italian classic, it’s probably safe to assume someone’s Nonna is rolling in her grave at the mere notion.

For what it’s worth, that story about a three-year-old girl getting a company to change the name from tiger bread to giraffe bread is totally legit. Back in 2011, a little girl named Lily Robinson wrote to Sainsbury’s noting the resemblance to that of a giraffe rather than a tiger. They thought it was brilliant and renamed it as such.

Back to the question at hand, is this cheesesteak the biggest abomination in culinary history? Phone lines are open for the first time today. (610) 632…