Jalen Hurts Uses Poop Reference to Describe Dallas Loss

The Birds lost 41-21 in Dallas.

It was a forgettable and miserable game, but at least it produced this quote:

Actually, Hurts is wrong. You are supposed to sit there and look at it. Not in any kind of weird way, but just to make sure your digestive system is working properly. Gastroenterologists* will tell you to examine the color and shape of the stool, because if the poop does not look a certain way, it may signal health issues that require further examination.

In the case of the Eagles’ Monday night performance, examining the figurative stool would reveal a major GI blockage. Irritable Bowel Syndrome as a result of throwing the ball on every down and getting run over by Zeke Elliott and Tony Pollard. A colonoscopy is in order, so get the Miralax and Gatorade ready.

*I’m not a Gastroenterologist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night

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