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Jalen Hurts Uses Poop Reference to Describe Dallas Loss
Published:
The Birds lost 41-21 in Dallas.
It was a forgettable and miserable game, but at least it produced this quote:
“When you take a deuce. You don’t look at it. You flush it and move on.” Jalen Hurts
What a wild quote.
— The Wooderboys (@wooderboys) September 28, 2021
Actually, Hurts is wrong. You are supposed to sit there and look at it. Not in any kind of weird way, but just to make sure your digestive system is working properly. Gastroenterologists* will tell you to examine the color and shape of the stool, because if the poop does not look a certain way, it may signal health issues that require further examination.
In the case of the Eagles’ Monday night performance, examining the figurative stool would reveal a major GI blockage. Irritable Bowel Syndrome as a result of throwing the ball on every down and getting run over by Zeke Elliott and Tony Pollard. A colonoscopy is in order, so get the Miralax and Gatorade ready.
*I’m not a Gastroenterologist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com